Silent Crys for Escape
by miSSmeliSS1324124
Summary: It's been three happy years for Logan. He has moved passed what happend with Ryan and has found life going back to normal but Logan is starting to feel like he is missing something and what he is missing is life changing.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: I love trilogies and once I thought of this idea I just had to add it to Silent Crys. So I hope you enjoy Silent Crys for Escape (idk if the title really fits the story but i wanted it to relate to the other two so this is what i came up with lol). I'm going to say this right now. Ryan is dead. This isn't going to be like another omg Ryan is back! He's not Jason or Freddy Krueger he doesn't come back to life every five seconds. **

Logan yawned as he stood in line at the grocery store. He had insisted that Mrs. Knight take a break from doing everything for them because they were adults and could take care of themselves, but now he was starting to regret that. He never realized how hard it was to shop for everyone. From Carlos' weird food choices to James' required hair products. He had been in the store for almost two hours. Out of all of them the easiest person to shop for was Kendall. He usually shopped for Kendall anyway so he already knew what he wanted. As soon as Logan paid for his items he briskly walked to his car. He still drove the Big Time Rush mobile but he was considering getting another car because James and Carlos had been starting to use it to pick up chicks. It gets annoying when you need a car and it's always gone. Logan threw all the bags in the back seat and was about to climb in when he heard a noise. He looked around curiously for a minute but didn't see anything. He shrugged his shoulders assuming it was just his imagination but then he heard it again.

"Mommy!" Logan walked down the line of cars slowly as the sound of crying got louder. He peered between two cars and frowned when he spotted a little girl. She had long brown hair that was perfectly curled and a purple head band was on her head. She was wearing a pink top with a white sweater and a pair of jeans. She held her hands to her eyes as she cried. Logan walked over to the girl and knelt in front of her.

"Hey, are you ok?" The girl looked up and sniffed a few times. She had beautiful green eyes and Logan figured she was about three of four years old.

"No, I can't find my mommy." Logan pursed his lips and stood up straight. He looked over the tops of the cars but didn't see anyone that could be this girl's mother. He bent back down and gave the girl a warm smile.

"Maybe I can help you find her. My names Logan, what's your name?" The girl wiped her eyes and looked up at Logan.

"Megan."

"Ok Megan. Why don't we go find your mommy?" The girl nodded and stood up. She grabbed Logan's hand and Logan couldn't help but smile down at her. They walked around for about twenty minutes and Megan was starting to get really scared.

"Logan, where's my mommy!" Logan looked down at the girl sadly. He knelt down to her level again and tried his best to comfort her.

"I'm not sure. Why don't we wait right here. I bet your mommy will see us and you know what?" Megan smiled slightly.

"What?"

"I bet she'll want to buy you a whole bunch of ice cream." Megan smiled and finally stopped crying. Logan stayed with her and played games with her for another ten minutes until he spotted a women running out of the store. A security guard was with her and she looked like she was crying. "Megan is that your mommy?" Megan turned and smiled. She nodded her head vigorously and began to giggle from happiness. When Logan stood he was surprised when Megan held out her arms to be picked up. Logan did so and walked towards the women. "Excuse me Mrs." She turned around and gasped. She ran over to Logan and took Megan from his arms.

"Oh my baby thank god!" She kissed Megan on the cheek and held her close. When she finally calmed down she turned to Logan with a grateful smile. "Thank you, thank you so much. I don't know how I can repay you." Logan smiled and rubbed the back of his neck.

"Don't worry about it. It was nice meeting you." Logan went to leave but Megan reached out and grabbed him.

"Wait!" Her eyes started to brim with tears and her bottom lip quivered. Logan smiled sadly at her and pet her head.

"I'm sorry I really have to go. Maybe I'll see you again some time?" Megan nodded sniffing slightly. Her mother smiled at her and reached down on the ground to get her bags. Logan grabbed it when he noticed she was struggling. "Let me help you to your car." She smiled gratefully as they walked together.

"I didn't catch your name." Logan blushed slightly.

"It's Logan." She smiled at him then gestured to his hand.

"How long have you been married? You look so young.

"Three years. I got married when I was eighteen." The woman looked shocked.

"Wow… was there any particular circumstance that would make you get married? Do you have kids?" Logan chuckled slightly. When the woman stopped walking he stopped as well.

"No I don't have any kids. It just seemed like the right move. I love him more than anything." She turned back around from strapping her daughter in her car seat to look at Logan with a raised eyebrow.

"Him?" Logan blushed and looked down at the ground. He nodded refusing to look up. He didn't want to see her face if she was disgusted. The woman placed a hand on Logan's shoulder making him look up. "It was nice to meet you Logan. You're a very nice man. Your husband is lucky to have you." Logan smiled and waved goodbye to Megan in the back seat of the car. When they drove away Logan couldn't help but feel a little saddened. Taking care of that little girl had felt so natural. He had been feeling it for a little while now but now he felt it more than ever. His heart ached for a baby of his own.

* * *

As soon as Logan set the groceries on the counter Carlos attacked the bags. Logan chuckled and rolled his eyes at his friend before walking over to where Kendall was seated on the couch. He plopped down next to him and kissed him sweetly. Kendall smiled and pulled Logan close to him. "Hey babe, how was your day?" Logan thought about the girl he had met and the ache in his heart returned. He shook it off and leaned into Kendall.

"It was uneventful. How was your day?" Kendall sighed annoyed making Logan look up at him.

"Carlos wouldn't shut up about his stupid pop tarts. I think he would have exploded if you got home any later." Logan chuckled and looked to Carlos who was stuffing his face with pop tarts. "What took you so long anyway?" Logan looked back at Kendall and stared at him for a moment. This would be the perfect opportunity for him to say what's been on his mind for a while now.

"Well, when I was leaving I found this little girl who couldn't find her mom. It took a while but we found her eventually." Kendall nodded but didn't question Logan about it any further. Logan sighed and tried to think of something else to say about it. "She kind of reminded me of you." Kendall turned to look at Logan questioningly.

"The little girl?" Logan nodded.

"She had the same eyes as you but she had brown hair instead of blonde." Kendall nodded and turned back to the TV. Logan sighed and sat back defeated. Was Kendall really that dense? Kendall sat up and turned to Logan like something had just come to him. Logan smiled and looked at him expectantly hoping he had realized what he was insinuating.

"I just remembered Camille was looking for you. She said that you wanted to talk to her about something." Logan frowned and nodded. He got up slowly and started walking towards the front door.

"I'm going to go find her." Without waiting for an answer Logan left apartment 2J. He went straight to Camille's apartment and knocked on the door. It didn't take long for Camille to answer and once she saw Logan she smiled and hugged him.

"Hey, I was just about to go to the pool. Do you want to come with?" Logan nodded and he helped Camille bring her pool stuff down. Once they got there and sat down Camille looked to Logan expectantly. "Ok, you've been dropping hints that you want to ask me something for weeks. Spit it out." Logan smiled and laughed slightly. At least Camille wasn't dense. Logan laced his fingers in front of him and looked down at the table. How was he going to ask this?

"Well Camille, I've been thinking lately um… I haven't talk to Kendall about this yet and I wanted to get your opinion before I talked to him. It's just that Kendall and I have been married now for three years and lately I've wanted… a f-family." Logan looked up and blushed when he noticed the huge smile on Camille's face. She stood up quickly and walked to the other side of the table so she could envelope Logan in a hug. When she pulled back she was still smiling. She sat down in a chair in front of Logan and took his hands in hers.

"That's so wonderful. What were you thinking of doing? Adoption? Do you want me to help you find places you can do that? Whatever you need I am here for you." When Camille finally stopped talking Logan took a breath before continuing.

"Well adoption isn't a bad idea… it's just. I was thinking of going a different way." Camille sat back and furrowed her eyebrows.

"What do you mean?" Logan swallowed hard.

"I was thinking of using a surrogate." Camille thought about it for a moment then frowned.

"Are you sure Logan? Do you really want to have a stranger having your child? And there is always the chance that they will be unwilling to give the baby up. Do you really want to do that?"

"Well… I was hoping it wouldn't have to be a stranger. It could be someone I really trust and have known for a long time. Like a best friend for instance?" Camille blinked a couple times then gasped. She looked around obviously thinking about what Logan had just said.

"Logan are you asking me?" Logan swallowed and nodded. He bit his lip when he noticed the doubt in her eyes.

"You don't have to, you know that right Camille?" She nodded and continued to think about it. When she sighed Logan's heart sank.

"I don't know Logan. I have to think about this." Logan nodded in understanding and stood up. He hugged Camille and smiled at her.

"Take all the time you need. You know where I am when you decide." Camille nodded and Logan left the pool. When he entered the elevator he leaned back against the wall and shut his eyes. If Camille turned him down the next person he could think of was Jo but he wasn't too comfortable with asking her. He wasn't close to her like he was with Camille. Also, he had a feeling that Jo would be the type of person who would insist on being a major part of the baby's life and Logan knew that, that would become a problem. Camille would never do that to Kendall or Logan. If anything she would want to be a god parent not a mother. When Logan stepped out of the elevator and started walking back to 2J he couldn't help but feel a little weird about what he had just asked Camille. He essential just asked her to have a baby for him. They were both only 21 so it would make sense if she wasn't ready for that. What made Logan wonder was why did he think he was ready for it? Why did he suddenly want to have a family so bad? That word made everything click for Logan. Family, he needed something to fill the emptiness in his heart that was put their when his father died. He always considered James, Carlos, Katie, and Mrs. Knight family but it wasn't the same. He wanted a family of his own. He needed it.

**A/N: Done! This is taking a different root then the first two Silent Crys but I think it fits. Logan is finally moving on from what happened and he is trying to move to the next stage in his life. There isn't always going to be a Ryan to make his life a living hell. But don't worry this isn't going to be happy, happy sunshine that vomits hearts and craps rainbows. There will be angst! Lol I hope you enjoyed this**

**Also, I'm not sure if the time line and age is correct but I figured they were probably like 18 ish by the end of S.C.F.D and now they are 21. I wanted to have them be married for some time. I didn't want them to be married for like a couple months then Logan's all like let's have a baby. I would think that's a little soon. Also, they are still in the band and they still live in the Palm Woods if you haven't figured that out yet. I'll probably make up a reason for why a married couple would still live with their guardian but mostly I didn't want to separate all the boys. Lol**

**There is more to come.**


	2. good news

Logan had made sure to give Camille her space as she thought about what she wanted to do. He didn't want her to feel pressured and he didn't want her to think he was pestering her. If he would see her he would smile and say a quick hello and on the days they hung out he wouldn't mention their conversation. Even if he wanted to it wasn't something that could easily be brought up. He couldn't just walk up to her and say "Hey Camille did you decide if you would have my baby yet." A week past and Camille still hadn't given him an answer. He knew it was a hard decision and she needed time but he was starting to get anxious.

Logan had just stepped out of the elevator when he was suddenly slapped across the face. Logan held his reddening cheek and mouthed the word "ow" as he turned to his attacker. Camille was standing in front of him with an annoyed look.

"Logan why haven't you talked to me at all about the conversation we had last week?" Logan raised an eyebrow and blinked a couple times.

"I didn't want to pester you. I thought you needed time to decide." Camille rolled her eyes and dragged Logan to a secluded area of the lobby.

"And I thought you weren't asking me about it because you were having second thoughts." Logan shook his head violently.

"No, no, no! I' m not having second thoughts… wait why did you slap me?" Camille shrugged and Logan rolled his eyes. She was weird like that. He put his focus back on Camille and looked at her expectantly. His heart rate sped up as he waited for an answer. She stared at him for a minute biting her lip but then a huge smile formed on her face. Logan didn't need any more answer then that. He grinned wildly and swung her around in a tight embrace. Camille laughed at Logan's excitement, loving how happy she was making him. "Oh my god Camille you are the most wonderful person in the world! I'm so happy… I could… I could just kiss you!" Camille laughed and Logan laughed as well. They both stopped short when someone cleared their throat from behind them. Logan turned around slowly and Camille moved so she could see past Logan. She gave Logan a look before they both chuckled nervously. "Hey Kendall… what's up?" Kendall crossed his arms with an amused expression.

"Should I be worried about this?" Logan made a "pfft" noise and walked over to Kendall kissing his cheek.

"What? No, I'm not hiding anything from you. Why would you think that?"

"I didn't say I thought you were hiding something from me." Logan chuckled nervously and glared at Camille when he noticed she was slowly inching herself away from the two boys. Logan cleared his throat and smiled up at Kendall who was still looking amused with him.

"Well… Igottogo!" Logan ran off and Camille ran off a few seconds later. Kendall chuckled and decided he would go back up to their apartment to wait for Logan. He was obviously planning something Kendall just wasn't sure what it was.

Logan found himself by the pool area and noticed Camille had found herself there too. He walked over to her and they both chuckled before sitting down. "So Logan, when are you going to talk to Kendall?"

"Well I had planned on talking to him as soon as you told me but I didn't expect him to pop up out of nowhere!" Camille laughed and shook her head. She had found the whole situation extremely funny and it was clear that Kendall thought the same. Logan could get very cute whenever he was caught. When Camille finally caught her breath she stood up and pulled Logan out of his seat. She smiled at him and started pushing him towards the lobby.

"Go talk to your hubby." Logan chuckled and let Camille push him. He quickly made his way to his apartment suddenly filled with excitement. Things were working so well he just hoped Kendall wanted this too. As soon as Logan opened the door arms were wrapping around him. Logan kissed Kendall deeply and pulled back with a huge smile on his face.

"So, do you want to tell me why you think Camille is so wonderful you could just kiss her?" Kendall was smirking playfully but Logan could see a hint of something else in his eyes.

"Yea, that's why I came up to talk to you and don't worry Kendall I only have eyes for you." Kendall smiled and kissed Logan again. Logan laced his fingers with Kendall's and pulled them into their room. James, Carlos, Mrs. Knight, and Katie currently occupied the couch so they needed their room for privacy. Once they were in Logan shut the door and moved over to his bed and lay down. Kendall joined him and he pulled Logan close so he was resting against his chest. Logan stayed silent for a little while trying to figure out what to say. He traced the patterns on Kendall's shirt until Kendall grabbed his hand to get his attention.

"What did you want to talk about Logie?" Logan leaned with his elbow on Kendall's chest so he could look down at him. He took in a breath suddenly feeling nervous.

"Well… lately I've been… feeling… something. I don't know if you are but I think I'm ready for us to go to the next level… of our relationship." Kendall furrowed his eyebrows not quiet understanding what Logan was getting at.

"What do you mean and what does that have to do with Camille?" Kendall confused expression suddenly fell and he was smirking. "Do you want to have a three some or something?" Logan gasped and smacked Kendall's chest.

"NO!" Kendall laughed and pulled Logan closer so he could kiss his blushing cheeks.

"I don't know Logie. You said you want to go to the next level and it obviously involves Camille. I didn't think you were into stuff like that but whatever floats…" Logan smacked Kendall's chest again making him laugh again.

"Kendall! I'm being serious!" Logan pouted and Kendall quickly quieted down.

"Ok, ok I'm sorry babe… continue." Logan suddenly found himself interested with the patterns on Kendall's shirt again.

"You can tell me anything Logan. What is it?"

"I want a baby." Logan spoke so softly that Kendall had to strain to hear him. He was making circles on Kendall's shirt with his finger and blushing slightly. Logan refused to look up at Kendall because he wasn't sure what he would see. Kendall's silence was starting to make Logan nervous. He had no idea what Kendall was thinking but he hoped it was something good. When Kendall let out a heavy sigh Logan's heart sank.

"Logie, are you sure we're ready for that?" Logan finally looked up at Kendall but his expression was unreadable.

"I think we are. We're financial stable and we have a nice clean environment that could support a child and if you wanted to move out so we could have our own place we have money for that thanks to the band and we've been married for three years already and we also have plenty of people who I know will support us but if you're not ready Kendall I under…" Kendall put his hand over Logan's mouth to stop his rant. Kendall chuckled and gave Logan a big smile.

"I think those are good enough reasons Logie." Logan's eyes widened.

"Arh yuh shahin yesh!" Kendall shook his head and removed his hand from over Logan's mouth.

"If you said "are you saying yes" then… yes." Kendall kissed Logan softly. "I think we're ready for a baby." Logan let out a breath and kissed Kendall passionately. He moved so he was straddling Kendall and continued to kiss him. Logan pulled back his breathing becoming erratic from excitement and tears of joy.

"I love you." Kendall smiled and kissed Logan one more time.

"I love you too, but I still don't see what Camille's part is in this."

"She agreed to be our surrogate." Kendall's faced looked surprised for a moment but then he nodded in understanding.

"So you do want to sleep with her." Logan sat up still straddling Kendall and slapped his chest.

"Kendall! You're a pig." Kendall chuckled.

"Well it's her egg and our sperm. I can only think of one way for that to happen." Logan rolled his eyes.

"There is more than one way to do the procedure Kendall. Ways that don't involve having sex with Camille." Logan smirked seductively and leaned forward until he was lying chest to chest with Kendall. "The procedure can be complicated but the simple fact remains that they would need your sperm and I would be happy to help with that." Kendall smirked and moved his hands so he was groping Logan's ass.

"Is that so?" Logan nodded and began leaning towards Kendall.

"I can't hear anything!" Logan sat up and looked towards the door. Kendall and Logan gave each other looks and listened as more voices could be heard.

"Be quiet Carlos or they'll know we're Listening!" James yelled.

"I heard something about a baby! Am I finally going to be a grandma?" Even Mrs. Knight was listening. Logan chuckled and climbed off of Kendall.

"We should probably inform our family about the good news. If we don't soon they'll break down the door." Kendall nodded and chuckled. He wrapped his arm around Logan's waist and pulled the door open quickly allowing James and Carlos to fall forward. They stood up quickly and tried to play off that they weren't listening.

"You guys are probably wondering what we were talking about and…" Mrs. Knight ran in from the other room and stood between Carlos and James.

"Am I going to be a grandma?" Kendall laughed and nodded. Mrs. Knight squealed and pulled both Logan and Kendall into a hug. She kissed Kendall on the cheek then kissed Logan and cupped his face. She had been aware of Logan's feelings about this for weeks. A mother always knows. Carlos and James both hugged Kendall and Logan and patted their backs.

"This is great guys. Does this mean I get to be Uncle Carlos?" Logan laughed.

"I wouldn't have it any other way." Carlos smiled excitedly. He always did like kids.

"Yes! I can't wait to teach them how to make shopping cart slingshot!" Logan turned to Kendall with a look of horror.

"Ok, note to self… Carlos is never babysitting." Carlos pouted at Logan while everyone else laughed.

"Well I can babysit right. I mean who else is going to teach them the fine art of hair maintenance." James took out his hand mirror and comb and brushed his hair. Kendall gave Logan a look then turned back to James.

"You know if you try and do their hair they are going to want to do yours right?" James' eyes widened and he held his hand to his hair stroking it.

"I think I'll pass on babysitting." Everyone laughed again and Mrs. Knight shook her head at the four boys. Kendall turned to Logan with a smile.

"So… now what do we do?"

**A/N: DONE! This chapter was rather short but I didn't want to get into them actually attempting to have a baby until the next chapter. But I does look like it's going smoothly so far. Let's see if that changes.**

**There is more to come.**


	3. good, bad, better

It really was a simply procedure. Logan, Kendall, and Camille went to the clinic together to see a doctor about making Camille their surrogate. They were given all the facts and what would be done and then they went to work. The doctor took sperm from both Logan and Kendall because neither of them were particular about who the sperm should be from. And when Logan had jokingly offered to assist Kendall he took him serious. Logan just hoped that no one saw Kendall sneak into his room. The doctor implanted semen from both Kendall and Logan into Camille and she said it would just be a race to see who's sperm won. They had been at the clinic for most of the afternoon and once Camille was done she walked back out to the lounge with the doctor. Logan and Kendall stood up and they both hugged Camille.

"Now listen, this doesn't guarantee that she will get pregnant. Take the test in a week (A/N: idk when you would actually take the test lol)to be sure. If you get a positive come back and you'll be sent to the other ward. Good luck." They all said their goodbyes to the doctor and left. They were all so happy that they went out for the rest of the day and got to the Palm Woods late that night. Once they were back at the Palm Woods they went their separate ways. Kendall watched Logan as they walked back to their apartment. He could see absolute excitement and happiness in his eyes. It made Kendall feel so much happier knowing that Logan was happy. Kendall pulled Logan close and kissed the top of his head.

"Are you ready for this?" Logan smiled at Kendall and nodded.

"More than ever. This is going to be a long week."

* * *

Kendall, James, Carlos, Logan, Camille, and Jo were all in apartment 2J waiting for the results of the pregnancy test. They had it placed on the kitchen counter with a timer next to it as the minutes ticked by. Camille sat between Jo and Logan and was gripping Logan's hand while Jo was rubbing her back. Kendall sat on the opposite side of Logan and gripped his other hand while simultaneously trying to stop his own leg from bouncing erratically from nervousness. James sat next to Kendall while Carlos stood behind the couch. They both patted their friends on the back reassuring them that it would turn out just fine. When the timer went off everyone jumped but no one moved. After a moment Camille composed herself and stood up with Jo right behind her. Camille gripped Jo's hand and took a breath before picking the small object off of the counter. She stared at it for a moment then gasped. She showed it to Jo who also gasped.

"WELL!" The four boys yelled simultaneously. Jo and Camille turned to the four boys and nodded vigorously with smiles on their faces. Logan jumped up and ran to Camille hugging her. Kendall, James and Carlos were cheering and giving each other high fives. Logan then ran to Kendall and jumped into his arms kissing him passionately. When he pulled away he stared into Kendall's eyes with nothing but love.

"I love you Kendall Knight." Kendall smiled and kissed Logan once more.

"I love you too." When they pulled away James and Carlos hugged Logan since they hadn't yet gotten a chance to. When everyone had calmed down enough they all sat back down on the couch to talk.

"So now what?" Carlos asked.

"Well we have to make another appointment with the clinic to do a blood test. They have to double check that she is pregnant. Pregnancy tests have an accuracy range of 99% but there is always that chance that it could be a false positive." James, Carlos, and Kendall stared at Logan like he had a second head. "What…" Camille and Jo laughed and shook their heads.

"Logan's right. We should call as soon as possible." Camille added. Kendall nodded and jumped up running to the phone. While he called the clinic James, Carlos, Camille and Jo continued talking.

"Camille, aren't you worried about that whole mother bonding thing." Camille shook her head and smirked as she gestured for Logan to speak. Logan sighed. He wasn't surprised that Jo asked that question.

"The mother- child relationship actually isn't what most people think. Most surrogate mothers have no problem giving the baby up to the parents they were caring it for. Usually they try and distance themselves before hand just in case but most women actually feel empowered because of the experience." Jo blinked a couple of times.

"Oh… ok then." James reached out towards Logan and poked his face with his finger. Logan turned to James with a questioning look as James looked at him in wonder.

"He's so life like." Logan rolled his eyes and playfully punched James as everyone laughed.

"There's nothing wrong with know things James."

"Well Logie sometimes it seems like you know too much." Carlos interjected. Logan laughed sarcastically and threw a pillow at Carlos. Everyone continued to tease Logan until Kendall finally returned. Logan gave Kendall a puppy dog face.

"Kendall defend my honor!" Logan joked. Kendall laughed and shook his head.

"Hey, hey, hey! Stop making fun of my Logie." Kendall wrapped his arm around Logan's waist and narrowed his eyes at everyone playfully. Everyone laughed and Logan kissed Kendall on the cheek. Everyone stayed together laughing and talking for most of the night. When it was getting late Jo and Camille decided to leave. Once the girls were gone the four boys went to their rooms to go to bed. Logan plopped down in his bed smiling. Kendall joined him on his bed and lay back so Logan could lie against him.

"I can't believe it's really finally happening." Kendall smiled at Logan and took his hand so he could kiss the back of it.

"It really is happening." Logan's smile grew and he laid his head against Kendall's chest.

"I know." They lay in each other's arms thinking silently about the events of the day. After a while exhaustion over took them and they couldn't help but fall asleep.

* * *

Kendall had booked the appointment at the clinic for the soonest date. They returned two days after Camille took the pregnancy test and were able to get all the blood work done in a few hours. They had to wait another few days to get the test results back before they could really get started with preparing for a baby and the wait was killing them. Logan was more anxious and excited as ever and Kendall was becoming more and more excited by the minute. He never thought he could ever be as happy as Logan was but he was dam close.

It was five days later and Camille was expecting the call from the clinic soon. Logan wanted to stay with her and be there when she got it but she had some errands to run. She had to assure Logan over a dozen times that she would call as soon as they contacted her but it still wasn't enough. Once Kendall talked to Logan he finally gave in.

"Why hasn't she called yet?" Logan had been pacing by the phone for an hour. He didn't know why he was so nervous. They already knew Camille was pregnant. He just figured hearing the words again would make him feel better. Kendall sighed from his spot on the couch and stood up. He walked over to Logan and wrapped his arms around him from behind.

"You need to calm down Logan. She'll call." Logan sighed and leaned against Kendall fully.

"I know it's just… this feels so unreal. I need to hear that it's actually happening again. Kendall nodded in understanding and turned Logan around. He kissed his lips then leaned his forehead against Logan's.

"I know. But trust me Logan. This is real." Logan smiled and went to kiss Kendall but stopped when a knock came to the door. Logan ran to the door dragging Kendall with him and threw it open. Camille was standing there looking down at the floor in front of her. Logan looked up at Kendall and they both had the same fear in their eyes.

"Camille?" Camille didn't even wait to sit down before she started talking. She walked past Kendall and Logan and turned around so she was facing them.

"I got the call while I was in the lobby." She let out a heavy sigh before continuing. "It was a false positive. I'm not pregnant."

"Oh." Logan looked down at the floor looking extremely sad. Kendall wrapped an arm around Logan reassuringly trying to hide his own disappointment. Seeing the depressing looks on Kendall and Logan's faces Camille immediately tried to brighten up the situation.

"We can try again. Don't give up yet guys. So it was a false positive. Even the doctor said that might happen. Why don't we go done to the clinic first thing tomorrow and try again." Logan and Kendall exchanged a look then turned to Camille.

"Are you sure?" Camille smiled and nodded her head at Kendall. The two boys smiled and closed the distance so they could envelope Camille in a hug.

"I don't want you two to ever give up… ok?" Logan and Kendall nodded and hugged Camille one last time before she left.

* * *

When Kendall, Logan, and Camille went to the clinic the next day the process took a lot longer than it did the first time. They decided on using a slightly different method that absolutely guaranteed Camille would get pregnant. They didn't want to get their hopes up again. Like last time they took sperm from Logan and Kendall but this time they removed an egg from Camille as well. Kendall and Logan's sperm was combined and inserted into the egg. This allowed for the baby to be caring genes from both Kendall and Logan. Once this process was done the fertilized egg was implanted into Camille. Once she was done, like last time she walked into the waiting room with the doctor to meet Logan and Kendall.

"Ok you won't have to worry about taking a pregnancy test because, trust me, she is defiantly pregnant." Kendall and Logan smiled and let out a breath. Camille rubbed Logan's arm and smiled at him. "You should come back in six weeks for your first appointment with your obstetrician." They waited for the doctor to leave before they all looked at each other before smiling and hugging each other excitedly.

"Thanks again for everything Camille." Camille rubbed Logan's arm and smiled at him.

"Don't worry about it Logan. You deserve to be happy." Kendall wrapped his arm around Logan waist and pulled him close. He kissed the top of Logan's head and smiled at Camille.

"She's right you know." Logan leaned against Kendall and nodded. They left the clinic and went back to the Palm Woods. Kendall was the first to walk through the lobby and was bombarded with question from James, Carlos, and Jo.

"How did it go?"

"Is she going to get pregnant this time?"

"Where are Logan and Camille?" James and Carlos shut their mouths at Jo's question. Kendall rolled his eyes and pointed behind him.

"I think that will answer all your questions." Logan walked through the doors caring two full grocery bags. Camille was watching him amused as his lips moved at a rapid pace.

"Swordfish, Shark, King mackerel, tilefish… these are just some of the sea foods you shouldn't be eating because they have a high amount of mercury. You can eat tuna but it can't be more than 12 ounces per week so I suggest you just stay away from tuna to be on the safe side. You also have to stay away from certain cheeses. Anything unpasteurized is definitely bad for you. You have to make sure you eat plenty of protein like poultry and eggs but make sure it isn't under cooked. You should eat every three hours and drink a lot of water but don't eat too much only enough for healthy weight gain. And make sure you take your vitamins too… are you getting all this Camille?" Kendall shook his head and blew out a large puff of air making his hair lift slightly.

"He's been doing that since we got in the car." James raised an eyebrow amused.

"The clinic is a twenty minute drive."

"Yea… and we stopped at the store to." James patted Kendall's shoulder.

"And you still have nine months to go." Kendall narrowed his eyes and shook his head.

"In case you forgot you have to live with him too." When Logan and Camille finally got to the group Logan was still talking. Camille was nodding her head but her expression clearly said everything was going right over her head. Carlos laughed and threw his hand over Logan's mouth. He jumped slightly then blinked at everyone.

"Waff?" Kendall shook his head and placed his hands on Logan's shoulders.

'Babe, I love you but you're going to drive yourself insane and it's only been a few hours."

"But Kendall Camille had to know this for the health of our baby." Kendall sighed and glanced at Camille laughing.

"I know but I don't think it's healthy to confuse the woman caring our baby." Logan turned to Camille and his eyebrows rose when he noticed her expression. She was looking through the things in the bag that Logan had bought and each item was making her more puzzled by the minute. She really didn't know what she had gotten herself into. Logan turned back to Kendall with a shy smile.

"Yea… that's probably bad too."

* * *

After spending a few hours in Camille's apartment setting up a daily plan for her Kendall and Logan (who was reluctant) finally returned to their apartment. Kendall grabbed Logan's hand and immediately dragged him to their room. As soon as he got the door closed he pushed Logan against it and smashed their lips together. Logan was surprised at first but he soon melted into Kendall and wrapped his arms around his neck. Their lips moved together and Logan moaned softly when Kendall inserted his tongue into Logan's mouth. Their tongues moved together and after a few minutes they pulled apart panting.

"It's been to long Logan. I think we should use the good news as an excuse to celebrate." Logan's pupils grew wide and he suddenly had a lustful look in his eyes.

"I agree." He surged forward and attached his lips to Kendall's again. He grabbed Kendall's shirt and pulled him over to one of their beds before pushing him onto it. Logan smirked and licked his lips as Kendall propped up on his elbows and did the same. Logan threw off his shirt and Kendall did the same. He undid his belt and slid his pants down while kicking off his shoes at the same time. Kendall soon did the same. Now that they were both in their boxers Logan climbed on top of Kendall and straddled his waist. He bit his lip and moved his hands over Kendall's chest and stomach. Kendall smirked and grabbed Logan's hips and thrust upwards making their crotches rub together. They both moaned and Logan bent down to attach their lips again. Logan laid flush against Kendall as he moved his hips in a circular motion. The friction was driving Kendall crazy and Logan was enjoying it as well. Having enough Kendall quickly flipped them over and settled between Logan's legs. He bent down and sucked, bit and licked Logan's neck loving the small whimpers and moans that escaped his lips.

"Are you ready for me Logie?" Logan tightened his grip on Kendall's shoulders and let out a long moan. Kendall smirked loving the power he had over Logan. He quickly sat up and pulled off Logan's boxers and his as well. He reached over to the nightstand and pulled out the lube. He almost dropped it when Logan suddenly reached for his erection and started stroking slowly. Kendall groaned and thrust into Logan's hand. Kendall got back some of his composer and poured some lube on his fingers as Logan still had a hold on him. Kendall batted Logan's hand away and sat up more so he would have a better view of Logan's entrance. Logan spread his legs wider making Kendall want to come right there. Kendall moved his finger to Logan's entrance and teased it. Logan lay back against the bed and moaned at the contact. When Kendall pushed in Logan gasped and bit his lip from the pleasure. Kendall plunged in and out adding another finger when the muscles loosened. Soon he had three fingers inside Logan as he thrust against them.

"More Kendall." Logan moaned extra loud when his prostate was hit. Kendall smirked and withdrew his fingers. Before Logan could complain about the sudden emptiness Kendall lined himself up and plunged forward. Logan screamed Kendall's name and wrapped his limbs tightly around him. Kendall kept a steady pace of thrusting in deep, fast, and hard. He attached his and Logan's lips groaning into the kiss as Logan met him on every thrust. "Faster." Logan whispered into the kiss and Kendall was all too happy to oblige. Logan let out a sinful moan as Kendall picked up his pace repeatedly slamming into Logan. When Logan began to let out long moans escalating in pitch Kendall knew he was close. He gave one powerful thrust making Logan cry out as all his muscles tensed with his orgasm. Cum splashed against their stomachs and Logan's hips bucked and withered. Kendall pulled almost all the way out and gave another deep and powerful thrust emptying out into Logan's entrance. He buried his face in Logan's neck as he let out a loud groan from the force of his orgasm. His hips stuttered and bucked a few times until he was completely emptied. Kendall lay with his full weight against Logan as they both worked to get their breath back. Logan ran his hands over Kendall's back soothingly as he peppered kisses over his jaw and neck. As soon as Kendall had regained some energy he lifted off of Logan and pulled out kissing away Logan's whimper as he did so. He plopped down next to Logan and smiled when Logan cuddled into his side.

"I love you." Logan smiled and buried his face in Kendall's neck.

"I love you too." Kendall rubbed his thumb over Logan's cheek suddenly deep in thought.

"What do you think they're going to be?" Logan looked up with a questioning look.

"What?"

"The baby, do you think it's going to be a boy or girl?" Logan made an "Oh" face and laid back against Kendall.

"I want a girl." Kendall smiled.

"Me too, and we will make sure nothing bad ever happens to her." Logan smiled.

"What are we going to do when she starts liking boys?" When Kendall didn't reply he looked up at him.

"She can date as soon as she wants too, but I'll have to approve of them first. And if they do anything to hurt her… I'll rip off their balls with my bare hands." Logan laughed and shook his head.

"For the safety of all men out their let's hope for a boy.

**A/N: YEY! So not only was this chapter a nice length. It had a little bit of sadness mixed in with happiness and hotness. Lol I hope you enjoyed this chapter**

**There is more to come. **


	4. month 1

James, Kendall, and Carlos were sitting on the couch trying to get a few minutes of peace and quiet. It was the end of the first month of Camille's pregnancy which meant she would be getting her first ultrasound soon. While Kendall was filled with a deep curiosity about the process Logan was extremely excited. He would be able to see his baby for the first time.

"What! What do you mean you tripped? I'm coming over. How do you know your fine?" James and Carlos groaned while Kendall chuckled softly. Logan spent every second of every day worrying over the smallest things. If he wasn't with Camille he was on the phone with her and if he wasn't doing that he was wondering if she was still following her daily plan. Kendall thought it was adorable. He often teased Logan saying he would be the parent that brought his kid to the hospital for a paper cut. Kendall may have found it amusing but James and Carlos thought the opposite. Logan was constantly running around like a chicken with its head cut off and it was making their heads spin. Not to mention because Kendall and Logan were so happy lately they couldn't help but act like two horny rabbits. Neither of the two boys had been able to go through a night without hearing moaning and banging against the wall. It always annoyed them that they always chose Kendall's bed which was the bed closest to their room.

"How does Logan have all this energy? I'm getting tired just watching him." Kendall chuckled and shook his head.

"That coming from the ball of energy himself." Carlos pouted and threw a pillow at Kendall.

"Hey, even I have my limits."

"Why doesn't he just go stay with Camille so he doesn't spend all his time worrying?" James joked. Carlos let out a snort but Kendall didn't laugh at all.

"You think that's funny but he was actually considering doing that." James and Carlos gave each other a look and shook their heads.

"Hey, it's not that bad an idea. Logan will be taking care of Camille and he won't be here which means Carlos and I would actually be able to get SOME SLEEP!" Kendall put his hands up in surrender but he had a huge grin on his face.

"Hey blame Logan. He's extremely horny when he's happy."

"Too much information!" Carlos and James yelled simultaneously. Kendall chuckled and redirected his attention when Logan walked into the living room. He was hanging up his phone as he smiled at Kendall and plopped down next to him. Logan wrapped his arm around Kendall's and leaned against him giving him a puppy dog face.

"Hey babe?" Kendall sighed. The whole situation was fun but he did have to admit there was one thing that could get annoying.

"What am I getting?" Logan smiled and kissed Kendall's cheek.

"Three jars of pickles and a carton of vanilla ice cream." James, Carlos, and Kendall each made a disgusted face. Logan nodded and made a face as well. "I know… it's weird." Kendall sighed and went to stand up. Logan wrapped his arms around Kendall's neck and kissed his lips softly. "Thank you." Kendall chuckled and kissed Logan's lips again.

"You can repay me later." Kendall raised his eyebrows playfully and pulled Logan into another kiss. James and Carlos both groaned making Logan look at them with furrowed eyebrows. James stood up with a huff and looked to Carlos.

"I don't know about you Carlos but I'm going to take a nap to try and get some sleep." Carlos nodded and they both went to their shared room. When they were out of site Logan turned to Kendall with a questioning look. Kendall chuckled and wrapped his arm around Logan's waist as they walked out the door.

"You and your horny little self have been stopping James and Carlos from getting a good night's sleep." Logan blushed and playfully smacked Kendall's arm. He wrapped his arms around Kendall's neck again as they waited for the elevator.

"It takes two to tango Kendall."

"Yea but only one of the dancers is a screamer." Logan's blush deepened and he shook his head as he stepped into the elevator with Kendall.

"I'll be at Camille's place so when you get back we can go to the clinic." Logan's smile grew as he spoke and Kendall smiled also. He pulled Logan close and kissed him on the cheek as the doors opened for the third floor. Logan gave Kendall a peck on the lips and went to step out but Kendall pulled him back.

"Can't you come with me?" Kendall pouted making Logan smile.

"Aw babe don't be sad you'll only be gone for a little while. And I have to make sure Camille hasn't fallen down a flight of stairs or something." Kendall chuckled and kissed Logan deeply.

"I miss you already." Logan kissed Kendall one last time and stepped out of the elevator before the doors closed. Kendall leaned against the back with a smile on his face. When the doors opened for the lobby he stepped out and left the Palm Woods.

* * *

When Kendall returned to the Palm Woods they still had a half hour before they had to leave for their appointment. Kendall and Logan spent that time sitting on Camille's couch as they tried not to puke while she dipped another pickle in the ice cream and ate it.

"Camille please stop doing that or I'm going to lose my lunch." Camille froze with the pickle inches from entering her mouth. She stared at Kendall for a moment noticing the slight green tint to his face. She shrugged and put the food away making Logan and Kendall sigh with relief. Logan stood up and pulled Kendall up with him.

"We should probably go now." Kendall and Camille nodded and they quickly made their way out of the Palm Woods. Kendall drove while Logan sat next to him and Camille sat in the bag. They mostly stayed silent but Camille couldn't help but groan at the uneasy feeling in the pit of her stomach. Logan looked back and gasped. "Kendall pull over." Kendall didn't wait any longer and as soon as the car was on the side of the road Camille had the back door open and was puking her guts out. Logan climbed out and held her hair for her while simultaneously trying not to get anything on his shoes. Once Camille was done she sat back up and Kendall handed her a bottle of water, tissues, a toothbrush, and a few mints. She took them gratefully and cleaned herself up.

"Ugh, that sucked." Kendall started driving again but chuckled slightly.

"You shouldn't have eaten all of those pickles." Camille glared at the bag of Kendall's head. Deciding that he was too far for her to smack she kicked the back of Logan's seat.

"Hey! I didn't say anything!"

"Your husband is too far." Kendall laughed again while Logan folded his arms over his chest and pouted. They stayed silent for a moment when Camille thought of something.

"Hey, why do you have all this stuff in your car?" Camille gestured to the box of tissues, mints, toothbrush, and water bottles. Kendall smirked and pointed with his head towards Logan.

"You can thank him for that. He has the same things in his, James and Carlos, and my mom's car." Camille turned to Logan with a questioning look and he blushed.

"Well I figured we would need them in case you ever got sick. And I put it in everyone's car in case we couldn't use ours." Camille chuckled. It was just like Logan to be prepared like that. After a while Logan finally decided to get himself his own car. He figured the Big Time Rush mobile wasn't exactly baby proof. Kendall then decided to get a car and Carlos and James were at the moment sharing the Big Time Rush mobile.

When they finally got to the clinic Logan jumped out and Camille and Kendall followed him swiftly. They went inside and waited until their names were called. They were brought into a rather large room with a chair like you would find in a dentist office and a large machine next to it. Camille sat down on the chair and laid back trying to get relaxed. After a few moments she could have fallen asleep but then the doctor walked in. She was looking down at her clipboard but when she looked up she froze in her place.

'I know you, your Logan right?" Logan blinked then smiled when he recognized the woman.

"You're the woman I met at the supermarket… I'm sorry I never did get your name." She smiled and went to shake Logan's hand.

"My name is Sarah Goodman… but I guess I'm Dr. Goodman for you now." She turned to Kendall and shook his hand. "You must be the husband. It's nice to meet you." Kendall shook her hand but he was still a little confused. Logan chuckled and gestured to the doctor.

"Do you remember when I went to the store? I found that girl that was lost. This is her mother." Kendall made an "Oh" face. Logan turned back to the doctor with a smile. "How is Megan anyway?" The doctor smiled.

"Good. Well, we should get back to business." She turned her attention to Camille. "Well from your chart it looks like you are entering your second month of pregnancy. How are you feeling?" Camille smiled.

"Pretty good, I'm dealing with the usual… food cravings, morning sickness." Dr. Goodman nodded and wrote a few things down. She put her clip board on a table to the side and clapped her hands together.

'Well, let's get started." She had Camille lay back and she lifted her shirt to show her stomach. Because she wasn't very far along in the pregnancy she still wasn't showing yet. The doctor grabbed a few things then turned to Camille. "This is going to be cold." Camille nodded and shivered as the cold substance hit her stomach. Logan and Kendall were watching curiously as the doctor worked. She turned on the machine and pressed a device to Camille's stomach. Logan, Kendall, and Camille all turned their attention to the monitor when it lit up. Dr. Goodman moved the device around a little bit then smiled. "There we go. It's not much yet but," She pointed to the screen, "That little bean shaped thing right there is your baby." Logan leaned forward a little to look at it then smiled.

"It's so tiny." The doctor let out a chuckle and nodded. She moved the device a couple more times checking everything out.

"Well everything here looks good. We'll just need to take some blood and weigh you and then you'll be free to go." Camille nodded and once her stomach was cleaned off she walked away with the doctor. Kendall looked down at Logan and noticed he was deep in thought. He poked his side gently snickering when Logan jumped.

"Jesus Kendall, I hate it when you do that." Logan wrapped his arms around Kendall's neck and pulled him into a deep kiss. Logan immediately took control and forced his tongue into Kendall's mouth. He moved his tongue around touching all of Kendall's most sensitive spots. Kendall moaned softly and pulled Logan closer. Before they could go any further Logan pulled away.

"What was that for?" Kendall asked with a smirk. Logan smiled and pecked him on the lips once more.

"For being the most wonderful husband I could ever ask for. Thank you for everything Kendall." Kendall smiled and hugged Logan tightly.

"You don't need to thank me you deserve everything and more. You deserve to have a baby… I'll give you all the babies you want." Logan chuckled and buried his face in Kendall's neck.

"One baby is good enough… for now."

**A/N: Done! I bet your wondering "hmm this is the 4****th**** chapter… where is all the angst?" Don't worry its coming and once we get there I can explain what my inspiration for this whole story was. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this chapter**

**There is more to come.**


	5. month 2

_Logan eyes fluttered and he was met with darkness. He sat up in bed and rubbed his eyes wondering what had woken him in the first place. He turned his attention to his nightstand when he heard small whimpers coming from a small walky-talky. He smiled and sighed getting up slowly as not to wake up Kendall and leaving the room. He walked down the hall the whimpering and crying becoming louder. He stopped when the crying stopped and whispering could be heard. Logan's eyebrows furrowed and he slowly continued to walk towards the room. As far as he knew everyone else was asleep. When he reached the nursery he peered in to see a figure standing before a crib._

"_James… Carlos… is that you?" The figure chuckled and turned around._

"_No, I don't think so." Logan gasped and took a step back. He was ready to run but then he noticed what the figure was holding._

"_M-my baby… Ryan leave them alone!"Ryan began laughing as his grip tightened of the small child. Logan cried out and ran forward as Ryan raised his hand to strike._

Logan shot up in bed panting and gasping for breath. His body was trembling and his heart was racing as he looked around the room trying to get his bearings. Kendall eyes opened and he suddenly became aware of Logan trembling next to him. He sat up and rubbed Logan's back trying to get him to calm down.

"Logie, it's ok… you're ok." Logan took in a deep breath and released it. He turned to Kendall and nodded signaling that he was ok. Kendall continued to rub Logan's back and was watching him with concern. He didn't need to ask he already knew what the problem was. "It's been almost a year since you've had a nightmare. Are you ok?" Logan scooted over so he was cuddling into Kendall. Kendall wrapped his arms around Logan and leaned back so they were both lying down. Logan let out a sigh and buried his face in Kendall's neck.

"It was different." Kendall looked down at Logan with a questioning look.

"What do you mean? It wasn't about Ryan?" Logan tightened his grip around Kendall.

"No, it was it's just… he wasn't trying to hurt me." Logan looked up at Kendall with tears in his eyes. "He was killing our baby." Kendall frowned and pulled Logan close to him. He pet his head and whispered to him as Logan cried silently.

"It was just a dream Logie, you know that. Ryan is gone and our baby is nice and healthy inside of Camille." Logan chuckled slightly and looked up at Kendall.

"It sounds kind of creepy when you say it like that. Like Camille ate them or something." Kendall snorted and shook his head. He kissed Logan's lips softly and cupped his face.

"Are you going to be ok?" Logan sighed and laid his head on Kendall's chest.

"Yea… we have our next appointment at the clinic in the morning. I think seeing them again will make me feel better." Kendall smiled and kissed the top of Logan's head before falling back into a deep sleep. Logan stayed awake for a long time. He went over the dream in his head over and over again. He was never one to analyze dreams but he couldn't help but think there was a deeper meaning to it. Kendall was right when he said Logan hadn't had a nightmare in a long time. Is life had been going smoothly so the nightmares about Ryan had all but stopped. Most of them consisted of Ryan coming back to hurt him and some consisted of Ryan's death. Seeing someone getting shot, what he believed was 12 times can really scar a person. The funny thing Ryan had only felt one of the 12. The first bullet had hit him in the back of the head. He was dead before the other bullets even hit.

"Logan closed his eyes and sighed. He shouldn't be letting this get to him. Everything was fine, but that didn't mean he wasn't going to call Camille first thing in the morning.

* * *

As soon as Logan woke up in the morning he scrambled straight to the phone. It rang a few times before a very sleepy Camille picked up.

"Hello?"

"Hey Camille its Logan. I just wanted to see how you were doing." Logan furrowed his eyebrows when he was met with silence. "Camille?"

"Logan… I am two months pregnant. So that means I would appreciate it if you would LET ME GET SOME SLEEP!" Logan juggled the phone trying not to drop it. Camille's outburst had startled him and she was still going at it.

"Camille I'm sorry I didn't mean to… no, no, no! Don't cry don't cry! Just go back to sleep I'll see you at 12." Logan hung up and groaned. Camille's mood swings were scary. Logan jumped when he heard laughing behind him. He turned around to see Kendall shaking his head with his arms crossed over his chest.

"You set yourself up for that one." Logan narrowed his eyes and shook his head at Kendall.

"Shut up." Kendall chuckled but then his expression soon turned into a frown. He walked over to Logan and wrapped his arms around his waist.

"Is this about the dream?" Logan sighed and looked away from Kendall.

"I couldn't help it. You know me, I get paranoid." Kendall nodded in understanding.

"You don't have to worry Logan everything is fine… Ok?" Logan nodded and kissed him softly.

"Ok." Kendall smiled and pulled Logan towards the kitchen. He sat him down and went over to the frig.

"We still have a little while before we have to leave. So why don't we eat something." Logan watched as Kendall pulled eggs, bacon, and sausage out of the refrigerator. As Kendall started to cook he glanced back and chuckled at Logan's surprised face. "What?"

"Since when do you cook?" Kendall pouted as he cracked a few eggs and poured them in a bowl.

"I'm not completely helpless in the kitchen and besides, I think I've watched you long enough to know what I'm doing." Logan gave him a skeptical look and stood up. He walked over to the counter and started helping Kendall cook. Kendall pouted more. "I can do it." Logan stopped what he was doing and gave him a look.

"If you know what you're doing why are you sprinkling sugar on the eggs?" Kendall turned slowly realizing he had been sticking his hand in the sugar jar instead of the salt. "And why are you putting it on the eggs now? You do that after you cook them." Kendall grumbled and poured out the bowl. He cracked more eggs letting Logan direct him this time. When they were about halfway down James, Carlos, Katie, and Mrs. Knight strolled in. They all sat down at the kitchen table and watched as Logan and Kendall cooked together. It was amusing how Kendall was scrambling around like an idiot getting almost everything wrong. Logan was directing him but instead of yelling whenever Kendall made a mistake he would giggle and tell him what he was supposed to do. Logan found Kendall trying to cook extremely adorable and everyone else found them cooking together adorable. Mrs. Knight had no problem admitting that but James, Carlos, and Katie were a different story. Once Kendall and Logan were done cooking they set everything on the table and everyone started eating. Once they were finished Mrs. Knight took the liberty of cleaning up.

A knock came to the door and James quickly answered it. He smiled when he was greeted by Camille.

"Good afternoon Camille." She huffed and walked passed him.

"What's so good about it?" James raised his eyebrows and followed Camille inside. Logan smiled at her but his smiled faded when he was met with a glare. "I hate you so much right now." Logan squeaked and pointed at himself. When Kendall walked into the living room Camille gestured toward him. "Yea, and you too." Carlos slowly backed away until he was standing next to James. He leaned towards him so he could whisper.

"Camille is having one of her hormonal mood swings. RUN!" Carlos whispered yelled. In an instant James and Carlos were out the door and headed down to the pool. Kendall shook his head in their direction then turned back to Camille and sighed.

"We know Camille you told us that yesterday and a week before that. Now can we get going to the clinic?" Camille suddenly smiled making Logan and Kendall raise their eyebrows.

"Oh that's right we have another appointment today." She turned on her heal and walked out of the apartment. Logan and Kendall stayed put for a moment and just looked towards the door in confusion. When they heard Camille yelling for them to hurry up they said goodbye to Mrs. Knight and scurried out the door.

* * *

It was the usual routine when they got to the clinic. This was only their second time going for an ultrasound but they pretty much knew what to expect. Dr. Goodman greeted them with her usual smile and prepared everything for the ultrasound. After she moved the device around Camille's stomach a bit she stopped and smiled.

"There they are, and they actually look more like a baby now!" Kendall and Logan smiled and moved forward so they could see the machine better. Dr. Goodman pointed out everything and after a while they were able to see the baby's form clearly. Logan instantly forgot about the dream and smiled widely at the picture. Even like this he could tell they were going to be the most beautiful baby he had even seen. Logan bit his lip as he felt the sting of tears come to his eyes. He thought he would have been able to keep it together but then he started to hear a small murmuring.

"What's that sound?" Kendall turned to the doctor with a questioning look. She smiled and turned up the speaker.

"A heart beat.(1)" Logan let out a breath and tears fell down his face unchecked. That small sound made it oh so real. Kendall pulled Logan close and smiled at him. He kissed the side of his head and blinked away tears that had come to his eyes. Camille smiled at the two boys happy that she was playing a part in all of this. When she had first said yes to Logan she was still a little unsure but now she was happier than ever that she had done this. Kendall turned to the doctor again who was watching them silently.

"When can we find out the gender?" Dr. Goodman smiled.

"In about two months, so when you come for your fourth ultrasound." Kendall nodded in understanding. He couldn't wait to find out. When everything was done they left the clinic. They were all happy everything was going so smoothly. The minute Camille sat down in the back seat she made a face.

"Man, I could really go for a peanut butter and fluff sandwich (2)." Logan and Kendall chuckled while shaking their heads.

"Camille you have some of the weirdest cravings will your pregnant." Camille blinked at Logan and chuckled.

"What are you talking about? I used to eat that all the time… before I was pregnant." Kendall and Logan both looked at each other making a face.

"Ew…"

**DONE! this is rather short but I had an essay to write for school so I couldn't spend a lot of time on the chapter. Now, I can imagine you saying… "Hey! You said the angst was coming!" NUH UH! I said it was coming soon… doesn't necessarily mean in the next chapter. You know I was almost tempted to tell you guys what chapter the angst would start but then I was like… but then you'd be prepared for it! And that's no fun! Lol anyway, I hope you enjoyed this chapter**

**There is more to come.**

**(1) I don't know when you would actually be able to hear the babies heart beat but I was too lazy to look it up lol**

**(2) I love peanut butter and fluff sandwiches. =]**


	6. month 3

Kendall opened his eyes and stretched his muscles. When he glanced at the clock it was still pretty early so he decided to let Logan sleep. He got up slowly and started walking towards the kitchen when he heard voices whispering. He crept closer and listened intently trying to figure out what was going on.

"When should we do it?" Kendall was surprised to hear Jo's voice. What was she talking about?

"I don't know, what do you think Camille… since this was your idea and all." Before Camille had a chance to speak Kendall had made it to the end of the hall and was watching quietly. Carlos, James, Jo, Camille, and Mrs. Knight were all sitting in the living room talking quietly. He still wasn't sure what was going on but he did have one thought at the back of his mind. When Camille didn't answer right away James asked another question. "What should it really be for anyway? I mean aren't these kinds of things usually for like… moms?" Camille nodded and thought some more. She snapped her fingers when a thought came to her.

"The last time we were at the clinic Kendall asked the doctor when we would find out the sex of the baby. It can be a party for that. We can buy banners for a girl and boy and I'll text someone ahead of time so they have time to hang them up. We can celebrate the baby and Kendall and Logan. It's the perfect surprise party." Kendall smirked thinking this was the perfect moment to reveal they weren't as sneaky as they thought. He stepped into view and cleared his throat making everyone jump. James and Carlos laughed awkwardly and Camille, Jo, and Mrs. Knight turned around slowly smiling shyly when they realized it was Kendall behind them.

"Sup Kendall?" Kendall chuckled and walked over so he was closer to the group.

"You guys fail." James, Jo, Carlos, and Camille pouted.

"Well it would have been a surprise if you weren't sneaking around. What are you doing here anyway?" Kendall shook his head and furrowed his eyebrows at Camille.

"I live here." Camille huffed and sat back down.

"I guess the surprise party is ruined." Kendall glanced back towards his and Logan's room and smirked.

"Not entirely. Logan still doesn't know." Everyone perked up at that thought. Out of everyone Logan definitely deserved this party the most. Kendall sat down and looked at everyone expectantly. "So, what's the plan?"

* * *

Logan's eyes fluttered open. He looked around and soon realized Kendall was no were to be seen. Logan stood up and stretched before walking out of the room to find James, Carlos, Kendall, Mrs. Knight, Camille and Jo all sitting together in the living room.

"What are you guys doing?" Everyone jumped and turned their attention to Logan. They all looked at each other for a second before simultaneously saying, "Nothing…" Logan rolled his eyes and walked towards the kitchen.

"Riiiight." Logan was reaching into the frig when he felt two arms snake around his waist. He smiled and placed the orange juice he was getting out on the counter so he could turn around and wrap his arms around Kendall's neck. "So… what were you doing?"

"Oh you know… just talking." Logan gave Kendall a skeptical look but in the end dropped the subject. He didn't really care anyway. By the time Logan was done in the kitchen Jo had decided to leave and Mrs. Knight had left for the day with Katie. Kendall, Logan, and Camille were about to leave but Logan stopped when he noticed something. James and Carlos were sitting on the couch glancing at each other than to their friends. They looked like they wanted to say something. "James… Carlos… you guys ok?" Kendall and Camille turned to face James and Carlos when they heard Logan. The two boys glanced at each other again and James decided to speak up.

"We were wondering… uh…" Kendall chuckled and shook his head.

"Yes you can come." James and Carlos cheered and shot up. They ran out the door with Kendall, Logan, and Camille laughing behind them.

* * *

When Dr. Goodman walked into the room something was different. She was caring a tray with a bunch of weird medical tools that Kendall, James, and Carlos didn't recognize. When they turned to Logan to ask what they were used for he blushed and told them they didn't really need to know.

"Uh… Doctor do you need us to step out into the hall for a minute?" She turned to Logan who was a deep shade of red. She chuckled and waved the boys away. Logan didn't wait another second. He pushed his three friends into the hallway quickly and shut the door behind him. They all turned to Logan with questioning looks.

"Ok… why did you push us out of the room I wanted to see the baby!" Carlos pouted annoyed at Logan. Logan sighed and rolled his eyes at Carlos.

"You will the doctor just has to… do some stuff first." James, Carlos, and Kendall looked at each other confused.

"What stuff?" Logan sighed at James. He was going to have to explain.

"She has to run some tests to make sure the baby is developing properly. She is going to take Camille's blood and a sample from inside her womb where the baby is."

"So she sticks a few needles in Camille… why are you all flustered? What, are you freaked out about them sticking a needle in Camille's stomach?"

"Kendall… she isn't sticking a needle in her stomach… she isn't even using a needle."

"What, is she gunna stick it up her…" Logan slapped his hand over Kendall's mouth. He was blushing furiously and his eyes were wide. James, Carlos, and Kendall soon got the message and small blushes came to their faces as well. When the doctor let them back in they stepped in carefully not sure if it was really ok for them to be back in the room. When Camille saw them she rolled her eyes.

"I thought you were guys not a bunch of babies." The four boys laughed sarcastically at Camille then turned their attention back to the doctor. Before they knew it the ultrasound was set up and the image of the baby was on the screen again. Kendall and Logan chuckled at the expressions of amazement on Carlos and James' faces. They had never experienced something like this and it was truly amazing.

"Why does the heart beat sound so weird?" Carlos turned to the doctor with a questioning look.

"It's still developing so it's much faster than mine or your heart beat. And if you notice the baby is starting to practice breathing and using their hands." Everyone turned to the screen and looked closely. They smiled when they finally noticed the small movements. Dr. Goodman turned off the machine and turned to everyone with a smile. "Well that's it for now. I'll have to test results by the next time you come and you'll be able to find out the gender of the baby." They all smiled and thanked the doctor.

Logan leaned into Kendall as they walked through the parking lot of the clinic. He looked up and smiled at Kendall when he kissed him on the top of the head.

"So I say we should place bets." Kendall and Logan turned to Carlos with a questioning look.

"huh?"

"For whether it's a girl or a boy. In case you haven't noticed everyone at the Palm Woods and even everyone at Rocque Records is itching to know if it's a boy or a girl. We should go around and ask people what they think to see what the majority of people think." Kendall thought about it for a minute then smiled.

"That's not a bad idea… and I think it would be kind of fun." Logan and Camille nodded in agreement. James and Carlos smiled as they jumped into the car.

"This is going to be fun."

**A/N: sorry for the extremely lame chapter. I'm probably going to do two updates for today because of how lame this one is and also I found out my class for today was concelled so I'm in a very good mood.**

**There is more to come.**


	7. month 4

For the month leading up to the day of their fourth appointment James, Carlos, Jo, Camille and Kendall had been running around trying to get everything ready for the surprise party. They had invited all of their friends, Gustavo, Kelly and even Griffin. It hadn't been that hard keeping all the preparations hidden from Logan. He was too focused on taking care of Camille and making sure that the baby stayed healthy. In the end she became the perfect distraction so Kendall, James, and Carlos could go around and set things up. They had decided to expand on Carlos' idea of taking bets and set up a white board with the words "Boy" and "Girl" written on the top. A line ran down the middle separating the page into two sections and the plan was that as soon as you got to the party you would sign your name on either the boy or girl side. They also decided to have some other games planned and James and Carlos had planned a couple of games that even Kendall didn't know about. They wanted it to be fun for him too.

When everyone woke up that morning they could smell the delicious sent of bacon, sausage, pancakes, and eggs. Kendall, James, Carlos, Mrs. Knight, and Katie walked into the kitchen and found Logan cooking while humming to himself. It was clear that he was in the best of moods today and the excitement he was feeling was transferring to everyone around him. Even Gustavo couldn't help but feel happy for the boy. As soon as everyone sat down at the table Logan set all the food out. He got everyone a drink then sat down and served himself.

"So, what's everyone doing today?" Logan couldn't help but notice the sideways glances that everyone gave each other.

"Run some errands."

"Probably gunna work on my tan."

"Be with you of course."

"Video games."

"Not going to a party." Everyone turned to Carlos with Glares and James and Kendall who were sitting next to Carlos couldn't help but smack him. Carlos cleared his throat and tried to play it off as he smiled sheepishly at everyone. Logan gave Carlos a strange look before chuckling and going back to eating. He didn't notice when everyone let out sighs and glared at Carlos again for almost ruining the secret. Everyone talked except for Carlos who was worried about saying something he shouldn't, before they could finish the phone rang. Logan was about to go and get it but Kendall stopped him and stood up instead. He went to the phone and picked it up quickly.

"Yello." (1)

"_DOG!"_ Kendall held the phone away from his ear with a grimace on his face.

"Yes Gustavo."

"_Before the party today I need you to come to the studio and rerecord your solo. There was some interference so the track is all messed up!"_ Kendall sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose.

"I can't I have an appointment at the clinic today. I need to be there." It was silent for a moment and Kendall started to think Gustavo was going to let it go.

"_Listen dog! When your baby comes I don't mind giving you and the other dog some leeway but until then GET YOUR MONKEY BUTT DOWN TO THE STUDIO IN 30 MINUTES OR I WILL SEND FRAIGHT TRAIN!"_ Everyone sitting at the table turned and looked towards Kendall wide eyed. Gustavo was being extra loud today. Kendall sighed heavily and agreed before hanging up the phone. He walked back over to the table with an annoyed look on his face before plopping back down in his seat.

"What was that about?" Logan looked to Kendall concerned. He had an idea what had been said, especial since he was able to hear Gustavo but he was hoping he was wrong. Kendall sighed and gave Logan an apologetic look.

"Gustavo says I have to go to the studio for a few hours. I should be back before you get back from your appointment though." Kendall was talking to Logan but he directed that statement to everyone else. He knew they were worried he would miss the party. Logan frowned and let out a sigh.

"He wouldn't let you have today off?" Kendall shook his head but then a thought came to him.

"Although he did say he would give us more time off when the baby comes. He said and I quote 'When your baby comes I don't mind giving you and the other dog some leeway but until then…' and I'm sure you heard the rest." Logan chuckled and nodded.

"Even Gustavo can be nice… as weird as that sounds." Everyone nodded at Logan. Once they were finished eating Mrs. Knight put everything away while James, Carlos, Kendall, and Logan got dressed. Kendall made sure to take his time so Logan would be out of the apartment first. He would be a little late but he wanted to talk to James and Carlos before he left. As soon as Logan was ready he walked over to Kendall and wrapped his arms around his neck. He kissed him sweetly then pulled back to reveal a pout. "I wish you could come. I want you to be with us." Kendall sighed and nodded.

"I know but I'll be here as soon as you get home." Logan nodded and kissed Kendall again.

"You'll be the first one to know." Logan smiled brightly at the prospect of finally knowing what they were having. Kendall smiled as well and kissed Logan deeply. When they pulled apart Kendall turned Logan around and smacked his butt making him jump forward.

"Now go, you'll be late." Logan shook his head and narrowed his eyes playfully at Kendall as he left the room with his hand covering his butt. Kendall chuckled and shook his head.

As soon as he heard the front door shut he left his and Logan's room and found James and Carlos in the living room.

"Ok, what's the plan?" James looked to Kendall expectantly. Now that Kendall wasn't going to be with Logan everything got messed up.

"Ok, I'm going to text Camille and tell her what's going on. You guys do what you originally planned but now expect a text from Camille instead of me. I should be back at least an hour before Logan and Camille get back and Gustavo, Kelly and probably Griffin will be with me." James and Carlos nodded and went to do their jobs. Kendall sighed and quickly left hoping Freight Train wouldn't be downstairs waiting for him.

* * *

Logan quickly walked to Camille's apartment with a slight skip in his step. He was still disappointed that Kendall couldn't come but he would still be able to tell him the good news once he got home. When he reached Camille's apartment he knocked on the door a few times and impatiently waited for Camille to answer. After a few seconds so opened the door and smiled at Logan. Logan looked down and smiled at her baby bump. Camille was finally starting to show that she was caring a baby and it just served as another reminder that he was going to be a parent soon.

"So you ready to go?" Camille nodded and walked out of her apartment. As she locked it she heard her phone vibrating telling her that she was receiving a text message. She pulled out her phone and looked at the screen as she walked down the hallway with Logan. It was a text from Kendall.

"_Gustavo is making me go to the recording studio so I can't go with you and Logan. I should get back to the Palm Woods an hour before you guys return but now you're going to have to be the one to text James when you're on your way home and about the sex of the baby." _

Camille nodded in understanding even though Kendall couldn't see her. She quickly typed back a

"KK." Before putting her phone back in her purse. She sighed and picked up her speed slightly noticing she was walking rather slow. When they both stepped into the elevator they each shared a look both showing all their excitement.

* * *

James and Carlos' jobs were simple. As soon as Kendall and Logan were gone they pulled all the party decorations out of their rooms and began to set up. They had different colored ribbons and balloons as well as two banners that were laid out on the table. One read "Congratulations Kendall and Logan for your boy!" and another read, "Congratulations Logan and Kendall for your girl!" They took out all the drinks and snacks and then set up the "boy or girl" white board and some party games. The games ranged from seeing who could change the baby the fastest to a corn dog eating contest. But James and Carlos both had to agree that their personal favorite was one that involved putting a fake belly on Logan and Kendall. That was going to be fun. Once everything was set up just like they wanted all they could do was sit and wait for the guests to arrive.

* * *

Kendall was pouting as he was cared over Freight Train's shoulder into the recording studio. He was starting to find it a little embarrassing, especially since he was now a grown ass man. When he was put down on the ground he went directly into the sound booth to begin recording. Before Gustavo could start yelling at him he heard beeping coming from his pocket. He sighed heavily when he noticed his phone battery was about to die. He sighed again and turned off his phone. Hopefully no one would need anything.

* * *

When Logan walked up to the counter in the clinic he was happy that he didn't have to wait that long. He walked into the room with Camille smiling the entire time. They waited a few minutes then Dr. Goodman walked in with a smile on her face.

"Well you look happy today Logan." Logan nodded his smiling growing even more. Dr. Goodman chuckled as she set everything up. "Excited to find out the gender I see." Logan only nodded as he watched the doctor work. As soon as the ultrasound was on he was looking at the screen trying and failing to figure out the gender himself.

"So… what is it?" Camille asked. The doctor remained silent then a smile came to her face.

"Well it looks like we have a baby girl." Logan let out a breath and couldn't help but be filled with joy. Camille grabbed his hand and squeezed letting him know she was excited for him. Camille immediately whipped out her phone and quickly text James, Carlos, Kendall, Jo, Mrs. Knight, and Katie. She didn't want anyone to get mad that they didn't find out first so she might as well tell them all at once.

* * *

All the guests had arrived and they were basically mingling before the guests of honor arrived. When the front door opened they all cheered realizing it was Kendall.

"Oh my god! I did not know about this!" James and Carlos playfully smacked Kendall for his sarcasm. They all chuckled while Kendall looked around. "You guys did a great job. It looks good." James and Carlos held their chins up letting their egos inflate just a little bit. Kendall took this time to grab his charger from his room and plug it into the wall. He plugged in his phone and set it on the counter watching it come to life. Almost a minute later his phone went off along with five others. They all looked at their phones at the same time, gasped and looked up at each other at the same time.

'IT'S A GIRL!" The five people who got the text said simultaneously. Everyone cheered and while two people put up the banner everyone was congratulating Kendall. Kendall thanked everyone smiling. He couldn't wait to see Logan.

* * *

The doctor continued to check everything out and was about ready to finish. "Ok, it looks like everything…" She trailed off and stopped her movement. Her smile faded and Camille and Logan looked at her with concern. The doctor blinked and leaned towards the screen as she moved the device a little.

"Dr. Goodman?" She jumped slightly because she was so concentrated on the ultrasound. When she turned she couldn't help but feel bad about the fear she had caused Logan to feel. She smiled softly at him before getting up.

"Let me go get those test results. They should be here by now." Before the doctor left she pushed a button causing the ultrasound to spit out an image of the baby. Logan watched with dread as the doctor left the room. Logan swallowed hard and looked down at Camille whose face was showing almost the same amount of anxiety as him.

The longer Dr. Goodman took the more concerned Logan got. He soon began pacing the room while Camille desperately tried to calm him down. They didn't know what was going on so all they could do was hope for the best. After almost 30 minutes Dr. Goodman came back into the room. Logan quickly turned to face her his heart shattering from the look on her face.

"What's going on?" Logan's voice came out as a whisper but the doctor was still able to hear him. She gestured for him to sit while she sat as well.

"The test shows that your baby has… a congenital deformity." Logan swallowed hard but remained quiet. Camille was the one to break the silence.

"What does that mean? She's deformed… while she have to take medication or something?" The doctor shook her head and sighed.

"The chances of getting this disease is 100,000 to 1 and it comes with a survival rate of… 0%." Logan gasped and held onto the chair he was sitting on preventing himself from falling over.

"Are you saying she'll die sometime after she's born?"

"No… she won't even make it until then. She'll be a still born." Camille covered her mouth with her hand as she gasped. She felt tears come to her eyes and let them fall unchecked. "I know it's not right for me to suggest this but going through the pain of caring the baby to term isn't such a good idea. I have a friend who works in the abortion clinic down town. I can call ahead for you and explain the situation… if you want." Camille let out a sob she never dreamed this would ever be happening. Dr. Goodman directed her attention to Logan who was staring into space. Doctors were always told to never get attached to a patient… never make things personal, but with the thought of her own daughter at the back of her mind and the devastation all over Logan's face… she just wanted to break down. "Logan?" Logan snapped out of it and looked at the doctor.

"I need to talk to Kendall first." She nodded and patted him on the shoulder.

"You have my number, call me when you decide. You can stay here as long as you need. No one will bother you." Dr. Goodman said goodbye but didn't wait for an answer; she didn't expect one. Camille had calmed down and the only thing letting Logan know she was crying was her stuttering breaths.

"This is all my fault." Logan stood and took Camille's hand. She looked up at him as soon as their hands made contact.

"Please don't blame yourself. It's not your fault. I can't take you blaming yourself." Camille nodded and wiped her eyes. When she was composed she just wanted to cry again. Logan's expression was so sad and she could tell by the look in his eyes he was seconds from cracking. Logan looked down and noticed something on the table. The doctor had left the ultrasound picture behind. Logan ran his fingers over the picture and finally felt something snap inside of him. When he let out a small whimper Camille quickly pulled him into a hug. Logan hugged Camille and began to sob. She ran her fingers through his hair and made "sh" noises just like a mother would. His crying wasn't loud but the tears that fell were enough to drench a large portion of Camille's shoulder. Logan felt so horrible and so devastated. He finally felt like he was getting something good in his life. He finally thought he would have a chance to have a family again. Apparently he wasn't allowed to have that. He wasn't allowed to have a family or have someone who needed him. He wasn't allowed to be happy. They stayed in that room for about an hour before Logan had stopped sobbing. He pulled away from Camille and wiped his eyes before the two left. Camille watched Logan sadly as they made their way to the car. He looked so dead. Like his heart had been ripped out and when it came down to it that's just what happened. His heart had been ripped out and stepped on.

"Logan are you sure you can drive?" Logan nodded and climbed into the car. He let out a sigh and stared driving. After a few minutes of silence Camille's eyes widened and she cursed to herself. She pulled out her phone in hast almost dropping it and texted the first name she could get to.

* * *

Everyone at the party was still having fun except for Kendall, James, Carlos, Jo, Mrs. Knight and Katie. Logan and Camille were later then they should be and they were starting to get worried. Kendall walked over to the other's who were sitting together on the couch.

"Did you guys get another text from Camille?" They all shook their heads but then Carlos' phone went off. He picked it up and sighed with relief.

'It's Camille." Everyone else sighed with relief as well until they saw Carlos' face.

"What is it?" Carlos swallowed and turned to Kendall.

"She said we have to get rid of the party now. She doesn't explain why but she said get rid of everything before Logan gets back… it's bad." Without a second thought everyone shot up and went to work. Mrs. Knight and Katie were able to get everyone's attention and ushered them out of the apartment while James, Kendall, Carlos, and Jo started taking down decorations and putting food away. When the apartment was cleared Kendall started pacing back and forth while biting his nails. What happened? Was Logan ok? Was the baby ok? Kendall felt so horrible. He knew he should have gone with them. He just wished it wasn't as bad as it seemed.

* * *

Logan had been driving for ten minutes and they were less than halfway there. He remained silent trying to focus on nothing but driving but he was having trouble with that. He couldn't help but think about how happy he had been and how easily his happiness had been taken away. Logan quickly pulled over to the side of the road and pressed the heels of his hands to his eyes. Before Camille could say anything Logan spoke up.

"Please c-call Kendall." Camille nodded and took out her phone.

* * *

Kendall was still pacing when his phone rang. He quickly turned towards it and ran over not even bothering to look at the caller ID when he answered.

"Hello?"

"Kendall… its Camille."

"What's going on? Where are you? Where's Logan? Is everything…"

"KENDALL!" Kendall quickly shut his mouth not expecting her to shout at him. "We are in front of Danny's Dinner. You know where that is right?"

"Yea."

"Come get us… Logan can't drive anymore… he needs you." Kendall quickly said good bye and ran to the table to grab his keys. James and Carlos quickly shot up and stopped him.

"Wait, what's going on?" Kendall turned to James annoyed that he stopped him.

"I don't know but Camille asked me to come get them."

"We're coming too." Carlos interjected. Jo shot up from the couch and joined the three boys intent on going as well. Kendall didn't protest he needed all his friends support he was scared and he wanted them by his side. Before anyone else could say anything the group ran out of the Palm Woods and piled into Kendall's car.

* * *

Camille watched Logan with concern as they waited for Kendall. He had his head resting against the stirring wheel while he watched everything going on outside. She did her best to comfort him. She rubbed his arm or pet his hair trying to assure him that he wasn't alone. Whenever a family would walk by Camille could see Logan's body tense. She felt so bad; she didn't know what to do. Camille noticed a car making a U turn behind them. She sighed with relief when she realized it was Kendall's car. He pulled up behind them and James, Carlos, Jo, and Kendall got out.

"Logan, Kendall's here." Logan quickly sat up and fumbled with his belt. Once it was off he scrambled out of the car and threw himself into Kendall's embrace. Logan fisted the back of Kendall's shirt and sobbed into his chest. Everything he had been holding in came flooding out and he didn't bother to stop it. His body shook with the force of his sobs and his vision blurred from the massive amount of tears falling from his eyes. Kendall didn't question Logan or try to figure out what was happening. For one Logan was too distressed to form simple words let alone sentences. And two, a part of him didn't want to know what horrible thing was hurting Logan so much. He tightened his grip on Logan and kissed the side of his head. He whispered into his ear while he glanced over to everyone else. Camille was crying while hugging Jo. It wasn't body raking sobs like Logan but she was clearly upset. James and Carlos were standing by the two girls and Kendall realized from their expressions she was talking. She was telling them everything but Kendall was too far and Logan was crying too loud for him to hear it. When it looked like Camille had finished talking James ran his fingers through his hair and let out a sigh. Carlos stepped away from the group and kicked the ground in anger while Jo let a few tears fall.

"Logan, can you tell me what happened." Logan turned his head so it was buried in Kendall's chest anymore. He let out a sob before trying to speak.

"I-it's a girl… did you know that Kendall?" Kendall smiled and stroked Logan's face.

"Yea I know."

"I-it's a baby girl… and she's sick." Kendall furrowed his eyebrows and could feel tears coming to his eyes.

"Is there anything we can do?" Logan shook his head and let out another sob. He buried his face in Kendall's chest again and cried harder than before. Kendall rested his chin on Logan's head and bit his lip as a few tears fell. He glanced over and noticed his friends were watching him with sad expressions. After a while Kendall had calmed Logan down enough so they could leave. He sat in the back of Logan's car with Logan while James drove. Carlos drove Kendall's car while Jo and Camille rode with him. When they returned to the Palm Woods Camille and Jo decided to go back to Camille's apartment. Before they left Camille hugged Logan.

"Call me… when you decide." Logan nodded understanding what she meant. Logan still hadn't told Kendall about that, he really didn't explain anything to Kendall. When they got back to 2J Mrs. Knight and Katie were waiting for them on the couch. They all made their way over and sat down. Logan sat cuddled into Kendall while James, Carlos, Mrs. Knight and Katie sat in chairs in front of them.

"I know what ever is going on is hard but can you explain it to us? Camille didn't tell us much just that the baby is really sick… is that true?" Logan sniffed and nodded at Carlos. Mrs. Knight and Katie gasped considering this was their first time hearing this.

"When we got there everything was going smoothly. Dr. Goodman told us the baby was a girl and when she was looking at the ultrasound she must have spotted something wrong. She left us in the room for a while and when she came back…" Logan stopped for a moment to get himself back together. Kendall rubbed his arm reassuringly. No one said anything, they knew this was hard for him and even though they wanted to know what was going on they could wait. "She told us that she has a congenital deformity. The chances of getting it are 1 in 100,000." Logan chuckled darkly. "Just my luck." Everyone looked at each other sadly then James broke the silence.

"What does that mean though… the babies going to be born deformed? How is it going to affect her life? What Kind of deformity is it?" Logan let out a sob.

"I don't know and it doesn't matter. The survival rate is 0% she won't even make it to her due date. If Camille gives birth to her… she'll already be dead." Mrs. Knight put a hand to her mouth and shut her eyes as a few tears fell. Katie moved to Logan's side and climbed onto the couch next to him. She hugged him and Logan couldn't help but feel some comfort. Katie usually only hugged people when they really needed it so when she did they couldn't help but feel loved. Mrs. Knight took Logan's hand and paused before speaking.

"Logan… did the doctor talk to you about…" She trailed off as Logan nodded his head. She looked at him expectantly and Logan sighed.

"I told her I had to talk to Kendall first." Kendall furrowed his eyebrows.

"About what?" Logan looked up at him with tears in his eyes.

"She said that the smartest thing to do would be to get an abortion. It would be too painful to carry the baby to term knowing what will happen." Kendall ran his fingers through his hair and sighed. Whether he wanted to admit it or not the doctor was right.

"When?"

"She said to call as soon as we decided." Kendall nodded and turned to his mother with a pleading look.

"Mom?" She nodded and kissed Kendall's cheek lovingly. "Thanks, her number is on the counter." Mrs. Knight left the group and walked into the kitchen.

"James?" James smiled reassuringly at Logan.

"Yea buddy?"

"Can you call Camille? She told me to call when… we decided." James nodded and took out his phone. He walked into the other room knowing Logan wouldn't want to hear and be reminded of what they were going to have to do. Logan stood up slowly Kendall repeating his action. "I want to go to bed." Kendall followed Logan into their room. They changed their clothes and climbed into bed. Kendall pulled Logan close and as soon as they were settled Logan began crying again. "m-my baby…" Logan let out a small sob and tightened his grip on Kendall.

"We'll get through this Logan." Kendall kissed the top of Logan's head and sighed. Tears spilled from his eyes and he didn't bother to wipe them away. After a while of crying together they both fell into a deep sleep.

**A/N: DONE! Ok with the length, heart crushing, and angst this chapter definitely makes up for the last one. This is actually based off of a true story. A couple found out their baby had a congenital deformity and decided to get an abortion. There is more to the story but I don't want to say because it will kind of spoil what will happen next. Anyway I hope you enjoyed this chapter.**

**There is more to come.**

**(1): i say Yello instead of hello when i answer the phone lol =]**


	8. it gets better

When Kendall walked into the kitchen the next day it was dark but he could still see a lone figure standing in the darkness. The morning light was just starting to come through the window allowing Kendall to see pretty clearly.

"Couldn't sleep either?" Logan turned towards Kendall and nodded. He had a small piece of paper in his hand and when Kendall saw it he cringed.

"Did you know about this?" Kendall sighed and nodded.

"It was supposed to be yesterday." Logan nodded and smiled sadly.

"It would have been fun." Logan threw the list of party games back in the trash where he had found it. When the lid to the garbage closed he stared at it for a moment. His vision began to blur and he could feel his lip quivering as more tears came to his eyes. Kendall moved to Logan's side and pulled him into a tight embrace. They remained silent and just allowed themselves to be comforted by the other. "This is so messed up." Kendall kissed the side of Logan's head and rubbed his back soothingly.

"I know." Logan's breath began to hick-up as he became more distressed. He let out a small sob and buried his face in Kendall's chest.

"W-why can't I be h-happy? Why can't I have something good in my life for once? Why does everything have to be taken a-way? It's not fair." Kendall pulled away from Logan and wiped away his tears. He cupped his face and stared straight into Logan's eyes.

"Don't you do that, don't give up on me. I know this is hard but you still have things to be happy for. You still have a family. I know your thinking otherwise but you have my mom and Katie and James and Carlos. And you have me. I love you Logan. You still have so much." Logan nodded and wiped his nose with the back of his hand.

"I know it's just I wanted this so bad." Kendall smiled sadly at Logan and kissed his forehead.

"I know." Logan and Kendall both turned when they heard a small crash. They had been so focused on each other they didn't realize Carlos had walked into the room. Carlos was kneeling on the ground scrambling to pick up the bowl of fruit he knocked over. Once everything was back where it was supposed to be he stood up slowly and smile apologetically at Kendall and Logan.

"Sorry… I'll just go…" Carlos went to leave but Logan stopped him.

"Carlos, its fine. You don't have to walk on egg shells around us." Carlos relaxed slightly and nodded. They were silent for a moment then Carlos spoke up.

"How are you guys doing?" Logan sighed and wiped his eyes quickly.

"Honestly, not that great." Carlos gave Logan a sympathetic look then walked over and pulled him into a soft hug. When Carlos pulled away he patted Logan on the shoulder and smiled reassuringly at him.

"I'm here for you Logan." Carlos turned toward Kendall. "You too." Carlos patted Kendall's shoulder and Kendall accepted the friendly gesture gratefully. "What are you guys going to do?" Logan sighed and ran his fingers through his hair.

"We're going down town today… it's not like we have any other option." Carlos nodded in understanding.

"Well… I'm gunna go back to bed. See you later." Logan and Kendall nodded at Carlos and silently watched him leave. Once he was gone they both decided to go back to bed as well, suddenly feeling exhausted. They walked back to their room together Logan grabbing Kendall's hand and pulling him close once they were in bed. Kendall wrapped his arms around Logan tightly knowing Logan needed the comfort. Kendall softly stroked Logan's side knowing he enjoyed the soft touch. After a few minutes Logan was fast asleep. Kendall ran his fingers over Logan's face and smiled sadly at him. He kissed his forehead before lying back down and allowing himself to fall to sleep.

* * *

The apartment was silent when everyone awoke that morning. They all got their own breakfast or skipped entirely and went on their own way. No one wanted to bring up what Kendall and Logan were going to have to do later today so they avoided the subject and tried to go back to their lives. They still worried about the two and would drop what they were doing the instant one of them needed something but they didn't want to do anything that might do more harm than good.

Kendall and Logan walked silently down to the lobby and met Camille there. She looked scared more than anything now. She didn't know what to expect from what they were about to do but she was also scared for her two friends. What would this do to them? Especially Logan. They silently made their way to Kendall's car and climbed in. It was hard to believe that just yesterday they were smiling and laughing and walking with a little bounce in their step. Now they looked like they were going to a funeral and, to them at least, they were. None of them ever had a problem with abortion but being put in this situation unwillingly, they felt like they were killing her. The car ride was silent. The only indication that any of them were aware of each other was when Kendall reached over and grabbed Logan's hand. Logan looked over at Kendall but Kendall kept his eyes on the road. He gave Logan's hand a reassuring squeeze letting him know that everything was going to be ok.

"We're here." Logan looked out the window and could see the abortion clinic. Everything about it looked normal until Logan saw something from the corner of his eye.

"oh no, Kendall look." Kendall parked his car across the street then looked over to where Logan was pointing. He let out a heavy sigh and glanced back at Camille who was looking afraid. In front of the clinic stood a group of protesters, and they didn't look friendly. They shouted at people and cursed anyone who even looked towards the clinic.

"Let's go around them." Logan and Camille nodded and climbed out of the car. Logan linked his arm with Camille then immediately moved to Kendall's side and clung to him. Kendall wrapped a protective arm around Logan and kissed the side of his head, whispering reassuringly before he pulled away. They tried their best to avoid the crowd but unfortunately they were still spotted.

"You're killing your baby!"

"You'll burn in hell for this!"

"God will punish you for your sins!" Logan shut his eyes and buried his face in Kendall's chest. A few tears fell and Kendall was ready to go off on these people. He had his mouth open ready to scream when Camille pulled away from Logan.

"What the hell is your problem?" Logan glanced over and was shocked to see Camille standing before the crowd. "For your information we are here because we don't have a choice! My friends wanted to have a baby and I was happy to carry it for them! On what was supposed to be one of the best days of their lives they found out their baby was sick with a fatal disease. How dare you say such hurtful things when we are already hurting enough?" The crowd remained silent. Some of them actually looking guilty for screaming at them. Camille huffed and walked back over to Kendall and Logan who were staring at her with dropped jaws.

"Camille…" She smiled at Kendall and the three of them pulled each other into a group hug. They were ready to go into the clinic when a voice from behind them stopped them in their tracks.

"This is your punishment fags!" Kendall pulled away from Logan and turned around quickly.

"Who the fuck said that!" Logan could sense the murderous intent in Kendall's voice so he reached out for his arm and attempted to pull him back.

"Please Kendall… don't." Kendall scanned over the group giving each person an intense glare. When no one spoke up Kendall finally relented and allowed Logan to pull him away. Once inside Kendall went up to the counter while Logan and Camille stood back. A doctor walked out a couple minutes later and greeted them.

"Mr. and Mr. Knight, Ms. Sanders, (**A/N: does Camille have a last name?)** please follow me." The three nodded and followed the doctor into a small room with a medium sized round table in it. They all sat down with Kendall and Camille on either side of Logan and the doctor sitting across from them. She opened a file she had brought with her and let out a sigh. "My name is Dr. Joy and I had a chat with Dr. Goodman and I'm very sorry about what you are going through. I know I can't offer you much comfort but I truly am sorry." The three nodded before Kendall spoke up.

"How does this work?" Dr. Joy laced her finger and lent her arms on the table. She turned to Camille and directed the explanation towards her.

"Because you are already in your second trimester we have to do a procedure known as D&E or Dilation and Evacuation. It's a surgical procedure and should take no more than an hour. You won't need anything afterwards just plenty of rest." (1) Camille swallowed and nodded. She turned to Logan and Kendall and they both gave her a reassuring look. Kendall and Logan went back into the waiting room as Camille was led away from them.

* * *

When Kendall and Logan returned to apartment 2J Logan mumbled something about taking a nap and walked into his and Kendall's room while Kendall moved to the couch and sat down. Mrs. Knight moved from her spot in the kitchen and sat down next to Kendall. She rubbed his back while Kendall buried his face in his hands and let out a sigh.

"This isn't right." Kendall looked up at his mom with sad eyes. "Why does he always have to suffer like this? Why is it always Logan?" Mrs. Knight sighed and shook her head.

"I wish I could give you an answer Kendall but I really don't know. The only thing you can do is be there for him. And let him be there for you too, I know this hurts but it gets better."

"How can things get better?" Kendall looked away from his mom and blinked away a few tears. She continued to rub his back and used one hand to force Kendall to look at her.

"It got better the last time things were tough. You and Logan found each other and later you got married and you two had the three happiest years of your lives. You'll be happy again, I promise. Maybe this time it wasn't meant to be but you can always try again and when you're finally holding a small life in your arms you'll realize… it got better." Kendall smiled at his mom and hugged her. When they pulled away Mrs. Knight noticed uncertainty in Kendall's eyes. Before she had a chance to ask Kendall spoke up.

"I understand but… I think Logan might have given up hope. The first time we thought Camille was pregnant and it ended up being not true… Logan was heartbroken. He didn't show it that much but I could tell he was disappointed. And now, when it seems like we were so close. I've never seen him this devastated. The last time he was like this… was when his dad died. What if he doesn't want to try again?" Mrs. Knight gave Kendall a reassuring smile.

"Give him time honey… that's all he needs." Kendall nodded and stood up. He hugged his mom one last time before walking over to his and Logan's room. He silently opened the door and made a sad expression when he heard Logan sniffing silently. Kendall moved to Logan's side and sat down. He rubbed Logan's arm and side trying to show him he was there.

"Logan." When Logan didn't turn around Kendall climbed into bed and turned Logan so he was lying on his back. Kendall bent his arm and rested on his hand and looked down at Logan as he stroked his face. Logan looked into Kendall's eyes allowing him to see the hurt and devastation.

"This hurts so much Kendall." Kendall kissed Logan's cheek and pressed his forehead to the side of Logan's face.

"I know… Logan, do you remember the day we got married?" Logan looked at Kendall questioningly but still nodded.

"How could I forget?" Kendall stroked Logan's cheek and stared at him lovingly.

"You looked so beautiful… and so happy." Logan blushed and looked away from Kendall. A smirk came to his face as he thought about that day.

"James told me you were so nervous you puked." Kendall was pouting when he looked back up at him.

"I can't believe he told you! He promised me he wouldn't tell a soul!" Logan snorted.

"When you went to the bathroom James took the mic from the DJ and told _everyone_." Kendall's eyes widened.

"Why didn't you ever tell me this?"

"Well I didn't want our special day to be ruined by you killing James. After that I guess it slipped my mind." Kendall smiled then he started laughing to himself. A smile came to Logan's face and he chuckled slightly at watching Kendall laugh. "What?"

"Do you remember that giant pimple you got on the top of your nose?" Logan pouted and looked away from Kendall.

"Yea… and I also remember how you just had to mention it when you were giving your vows." Kendall chuckled and looked up like he was remembering it.

"If I recall I said, 'I love everything about you from your gorgeous eyes… to that pimple on your nose.' Everyone had a good laugh." Logan smacked Kendall's chest and narrowed his eyes at him.

"Yea… except for me!" Kendall leaned down and gave Logan an Eskimo kiss."

"Aw baby you know I love you." Logan sighed and nodded.

"Do you remember our honey moon?" Kendall smiled but it soon turned into a mischievous smirk.

"The part where we actually went sightseeing or the part where I got to tie you up?" Logan blushed a deep red and looked away from Kendall.

"Kendall… I wasn't referring to that." Kendall chuckled.

"Ok, what were you referring to?"

"When we hiked to the top of that cliff and watched the sunset." Both Logan and Kendall smiled at the memory. A thought acquired to Logan and he looked towards Kendall with a questioning look.

"Why did you bring all this up?" Kendall sat up and pulled Logan up with him. He kissed him softly then cupped his face.

"My mom made me realize something. Even though bad things happen… it gets better. After sad moments we will always find ourselves happy again. With all that happened with Ryan you were depressed and angry and scared. But what we just spent the last few minutes talking about was some of the happiest moments of our lives. What's happening now really sucks and it's ok to be angry but always remember that there will be a better day." Logan just stared at Kendall for a moment taking in everything he said. He felt more tears fall from his eyes and he wrapped his arms around Kendall's neck pulling him into a hug.

"I hope better days come soon." Kendall and Logan held onto each other as tightly as they could. After a few minutes Logan pulled away and wiped his eyes. "There's something… I need to do. Will you come with me?" Kendall smiled at Logan and nodded. He didn't ask where they were going and simply let Logan grab his hand and pull him out of their room. They passed Mrs. Knight on their way out of the apartment and passed James and Carlos on their way out of the lobby. They didn't stop to talk to them but rather told them a quick, "we'll be back soon."

As soon as they climbed into Logan's car Logan was driving them to their destination. After a few minutes Kendall knew where they were going. He reached over and gripped Logan's hand squeezing it reassuringly. Logan parked the car and they both climbed out. The closing doors echoed in the silence that surrounded them. Logan gripped Kendall's hand as they walked down a path then turned to walk on grass. When they stopped Kendall released Logan's hand causing Logan to look back at him.

"I'm here." Logan nodded and allowed Kendall to stay back a few feet as Logan walked forward and knelt in front of the large stone. He ran his fingers over the carved letters then dropped his hand with a sigh.

"Hi dad, I know it's a little early for me to be visiting but I needed to tell you something. Kendall and I tried to have a baby. Camille agreed to be our surrogate and it seemed like it would work. We had to try twice the first time didn't work but the second time…" Logan paused for a moment and took in a breath. "The second time Camille got pregnant. We went every month to get the baby checked out and everything was going perfectly… until yesterday. It was a girl and she was very sick. We couldn't do anything for her… so we had to let her go. I wanted to raise her and be a good dad… so you would be proud of me but now I have to ask you… if she's with you and mom, can you take care of her? It would make me feel better knowing that even if she can't be with me at least she still has family." Logan rubbed his hands over his face and let out a stuttering breath. He placed his hand on the stone one last time before standing up and walking back to Kendall. Kendall held his arms open and Logan immediately walking into his embrace. He buried his face in Kendall's chest and let himself cry again. They stayed like that until the sky began to darken and the cold became too much to bear.

"Let's go home." Logan nodded and he glanced at his father's tomb stone one last time before walking back to his car with Kendall.

**A/N: DONE! I really had to force myself to do this chapter. It's not that it was hard to write I was just super lazy Lol. I think the fact that I just found out I'm getting a stupid roommate has put me in a bad mood. I was so loving having a dorm to myself so much… then this bitch just had to move in. grrr… I was hoping my giant poster of Taylor Lautner had scared her away but I guess it didn't work. She hasn't moved in yet so I guess all I can do is enjoy the peace, quiet, and privacy while it lasts… or I can join the puppy raising club… they don't have to have a roommate. Note to self, if I can't stand her I am joining the puppy raising club. I would get my own room… and a puppy, who wouldn't want that? Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this chapter**

**There is more to come.**

**(1): so I researched what D&E was after I started writing this chapter and it's a procedure that looks like it takes a few days to complete. You need to take like a pill then after a day you go in for surgery… yea I am too lazy to make the description accurate so… I just went with it being simple. And I made it sound like it didn't hurt but the description of what it is makes it sounds like it does. Picture this… it's like sticking a vacuum up your vag… awkward…**

**P.S. if you didn't hear the story a couple found out there baby had a congenital deformity so they went to an abortion clinic. They were yelled at by protesters and the husband basically did what Camille did. He actually videotaped himself doing it to if you go on YouTube and search "dad confronts protesters" its there.**


	9. are you ready

When Kendall walked into the living room Logan was standing in the middle of the room in basketball shorts, running shoes and a t-shirt. He had a small backpack on his back and he was just about to put is head phones in for his iPod.

"Where are you going?" Logan jumped a little not realizing that someone had walked into the room. He turned to Kendall and smiled.

"I was going to go for a run." Kendall nodded and started walking back towards their room.

"Hold on, I'll go with you." Kendall had fully turned around when he was stopped by Logan. When he turned around Logan pulled him into a deep kiss.

"Kendall I love you but I'd rather go alone if you don't mind… I need to clear my head." Kendall sighed and nodded. Logan smiled and kissed Kendall one more time before walking out the door.

It was understandable that Logan needed time to think. Five months had passed since they lost their baby. Not only that, but it just so happened to be the day that Camille was supposed to be do. As Logan walked through the parking lot of the Palm Woods that thought really depressed him. If things hadn't gone so wrong he would have a baby right now. Once Logan hit the sidewalk he took off in a steady jog. His music blasted in his ears but he really wasn't paying much attention to it. He was too busy thinking to really notice anything else going on around him.

It only took a few weeks for everyone at the Palm Woods to realize something had happened. For one Camille's slight baby bump had basically disappeared and second Logan wasn't fusing over every little thing she did anymore. People started coming up to him and asked him what had happened and he would have to tell them every time. At one point he got so tired of talking about it over and over again he simply got up and walked away when someone had asked the question. Logan spent most of that afternoon in his room crying and once Kendall found him and comforted him he made sure to apologize for being so rude to that girl.

When the news had gotten to Gustavo and Kelly they were extra nice to Logan and Kendall. It had taken Gustavo some getting used to, most of the time if he was ever frustrated with Kendall or Logan he would yell at Carlos and James. Logan always felt bad but James and Carlos said it was no big deal they were just happy that Gustavo, in his own strange way, was showing that he cared.

Logan turned onto a path when he reached a large park. The path wrapped around a large pond and on the other side of the path was a picnic area and a playground. Because it happened to be one of the nicest days LA has had in a few weeks there were plenty of people around. They were either walking/jogging the path like Logan or on the playground with their kids. After an hour of jogging Logan had gone around the pond over a dozen times. He moved to the first bench he could get to and sat down so he could take a break. Logan wiped the sweat off of his forehead and let out a heavy sigh. He leaned back against the bench and allowed his breathing and heart rate to go back to normal. Logan looked up at the sky and cursed the world for having such a beautiful day when he was depressed and crying inside. Logan more than anything wanted a solution to come to him and help him but he didn't know how that would ever happen. It wasn't like some force was going to come and smack him upside the head to make him see what he was missing. An object suddenly smacked Logan in the back of the head making him yelp. He held his hand to his head and cursed to himself as he stood up to see what the hell that was. He looked to the ground by his feet and noticed a soccer ball. He continued to rub his head as he bent down and picked it up.

"Oh I am so sorry! Are you alright?" Logan glanced up and noticed a young Woman quickly walking over to him. A small boy, who Logan guessed was about 5 or 6 was walking behind her while she held a baby, which Logan guessed was only a couple of months old, on her hip. Logan smiled and bent down handing the soccer ball to the boy.

"It's ok, no harm done." The boy smiled at Logan and ran off.

"Jeffery! Get back here!" Logan chuckled as the boy stopped and dragged his feet back over. The woman gave him a stern look. "Jeffery, you still need to apologize. It's not nice to hit people with soccer balls!" Jeffery sighed and looked up at Logan shyly.

"I'm really sorry mister. You're not mad are you?" Logan ruffled the kid's hair and shook his head. The boy sighed and went back to playing.

"How old is he?" The woman sighed but smiled.

"He's six. People say they're the worst when they're two but when they're six it's harder to keep track of them." Logan chuckled and soon noticed the baby the woman was holding was staring at him. He smiled and waved at the little baby making them laugh. The women glanced down and chuckled.

"Who's this?"

"Anna-bell, she's six months old." Logan continued to wave and make faces at the girl making her laugh.

"How is your son handling being an older brother? It must be strange for him." The woman sighed and glanced over at her son who was kicking around the soccer ball.

"He's used to it… my husband and I had another child before she was born so he already knew what it was like."

"If you don't mind me asking… what happened to them?" The woman let out a sigh and tightened her grip on her baby slightly.

"A year after we had Jeffrey my husband and I decided we wanted another baby. When he was born… it was obvious something was wrong. The doctor told us he had harlequin ichthyosis. Logan sighed; with all the medical books he's read he was very familiar with that disease.

"That's horrible." The woman nodded.

"He survived for a long time and we actually thought he stood a chance but then he took a turn for the worst." Logan nodded then glanced at the girl in the woman's arms.

"How did you know… when you were ready to try again?" Logan gestured to the baby. The woman glanced at her then looked at Logan. She gave Logan a sympathetic smile.

"When people loss a child you can see it in their eyes. It fades over time but it never goes away. I'm guessing it wasn't that long ago for you." Logan sighed and nodded.

"Today would have been her do date. We found out four months into the pregnancy that she had a congenital disease."

"I'm very sorry." Logan nodded.

"So how did you know?" The woman thought for a moment then smiled.

"It really just hit me one day. In essence I think I was always ready to try again and the only thing keeping me back was the fear of something going wrong. I had become so attached to the idea of another child that when things went wrong I never wanted to feel that way again. I eventually realized that trying again would also bring me peace and happiness because until Anna-bell was born the child that I had lost was always on my mind. He still is but now when I think about him it's not as painful because I know he is in a better place and Anna-bell taught me that good things do happen with time." Logan let out a breath he didn't realize he had been holding. What she was saying made so much sense to him.

"Thank you." She smiled and patted Logan on the shoulder. They both said their goodbyes and Logan ran back towards the Palm Woods. He sprinted this time wanted to get home as soon as possible. He ran through the lobby ignoring Bitters complaining at him and ran up the stairs. When he opened the door to apartment 2J he didn't see anyone anywhere. "Kendall!" As Logan closed the front door Kendall came walking out. He looked concerned and that concern grew at Logan's expression.

"Logie what's wrong?" Logan walked over to Kendall and wrapped his arms around his neck. Kendall continued to stare at Logan while he wrapped his arms around his waist and pulled him close.

"I don't want to give up. The only way I'll get closer for what happened is if I don't give up." Logan's vision blurred as tears fell from his eyes. "Does that make me a bad person… for wanting to try again?" Kendall moved his hand to Logan's face and wiped his tears away with his thumb.

"Of course not, if you're ready… I'm ready too." Logan let out a breath and pulled Kendall into a passionate kiss. Kendall forced his tongue into Logan's mouth and searched for all of Logan's sensitive spots. It had been a while since they kissed like this and Kendall was more than ready for it. Logan moved his hands up and down Kendall's chest and stomach feeling the muscles through his shirt. He moaned into the kiss as Kendall moved his hands down Logan's back and latched onto his backside. Logan pulled back slightly catching Kendall's bottom lip in his teeth. He let go and watched it bounce back into place before attaching his lips to Kendall's jaw and neck. Kendall groaned and brought Logan's face back up for a teeth clashing kiss. They were two seconds from moving the heavy make out session to their room when the front door opened.

"Get a room!" Kendall pulled away from Logan to glare at Katie as she walked in.

"I'll remember that for your next boyfriend baby sister." Katie smiled and rolled her eyes at Kendall. She walked past them and plopped down on the couch to watch TV. After Katie walked in everyone seemed to be getting home. James and Carlos came in a few seconds later and Mrs. Knight came in less than a second after that. Kendall turned to Logan and moved his lips to his ear so he could whisper to him. "Should we tell them now?" Logan shook his head.

"I think we should talk to Camille first and make sure she's still willing." Kendall nodded and he gripped Logan's hand as they walked out the door.

Logan held onto Kendall tightly as he knocked on Camille's door. He was suddenly nervous. What if she said no this time? When Camille opened her door she stared at Kendall then Logan then Kendall again. From the hopeful expressions on their faces she immediately knew what they were here for. Camille smiled and pulled the two boys into a tight hug.

"Are you guys really going to try again?" When she pulled back she had one hand on Logan's arm and the other on Kendall's. Logan swallowed and looked to Camille expectantly.

"Only if you're still willing." Camille scoffed and rolled her eyes.

"Of course I am. I signed up to give you guys a baby and that's exactly what I'm going to do." Logan let out a breath and hugged Camille again.

"You truly are wonderful Camille." She smiled and gave Logan a "well duh" look making Kendall roll his eyes. They talked for a couple minutes and decided they would go back to the clinic the very next day.

When they returned to apartment 2J Mrs. Knight was just starting to make dinner while James and Carlos sat in the living room watching TV with Katie. Kendall looked to Logan who nodded and gave Kendall the go ahead. Kendall and Logan moved to the Kitchen counter and sat down.

"James, Carlos, Katie… come here please." The three who were called looked up with questioning looks. They slowly stood up and walked over to join the two already in the kitchen. Mrs. Knight turned around and from the slight twinkle in her eyes Kendall and Logan figured she knew already. "We were just talking to Camille and decided… we want to try again." Everyone stayed silent for a moment thinking about what Kendall just told them.

"You guys are sure you're ready?" Logan nodded at Carlos making him smile. He walked over to Logan and Kendall and pulled them both into a hug. "If you're ready I'm happy for you."

"Agreed." James, Mrs. Knight and Katie added. They all moved to Kendall and Logan and gave them each a hug.

"And remember we'll be here for you guys every step of the way." Kendall and Logan smiled at James.

"Thanks."

**A/N: DONE! I was thinking of adding a little more to this but I don't think it was necessary. I hope you enjoyed this chapter. The next chapter is going to have a big time skip too. =]**

**There is more to come. **


	10. everything is ok

Logan was standing in front of the mirror blankly staring at his reflection. He wasn't really paying attention to how he looked because he was too busy thinking. He was trying to make sense of all the emotions and all the thoughts going through him. Fear, happiness, excitement, anxiety; all the contradicting emotions were making Logan's head spin. Camille was four months into her pregnancy meaning it was their fourth appointment to the clinic. Everything had gone smoothly so far but that's what happened last time. Logan was so afraid that something would go wrong again, the thought making his stomach turn. But on the other hand he was excited to find out the sex of the baby and he was happy that Kendall was going to be with him this time. He didn't want to get his hopes up but Logan had a feeling that if today went well then the last five months would be smooth sailing.

"LOGAN!" Logan let out a girly scream and knocked a few things off the counter. He scrambled to pick them up knocking a few more things in the process. When Logan finally got his toothbrush to stop falling over he pointed at it.

"Stay." When it didn't move he sighed and turned to see a very amused Kendall watching him. "Why the hell did you feel the need to scare me like that?" Kendall shook his head and moved to stand behind Logan as he reached for his toothbrush.

"I didn't mean to scare you. I called you like six times but you were spacing out. Logan made an "oh" face and went back to staring at his reflection while Kendall brushed his teeth. Once he was done he turned Logan around and took a good look at him.

"You look like you're about to puke." Logan grimaced and placed a hand on his stomach.

"That's probably because I will." Kendall made a face but didn't move away from Logan. He wrapped his arms around Logan's waist and kissed his forehead lovingly.

"Are you nervous about today?" Logan nodded and rested his forehead against Kendall's chest.

"I'm so afraid something will go wrong." Kendall rubbed Logan's back soothingly then lifted Logan's chin so they were looking into each other's eyes.

'I wish I could but I can't promise that nothing will go wrong. What I can promise is that I will be there for you every step of the way." Logan let out a breath and felt his body relaxed. He was content with that. Logan gripped Kendall's hand and they walked toward the living room together. Once they entered Kendall yelped when a hockey puck came inches from hitting him in the face. When Kendall composed himself he glared at Carlos who was smiling sheepishly at him. "Really Carlos?"

"What? It didn't hit you." Logan rolled his eyes and put his hand on his hip.

"I hope you don't plan on acting like that when there is a child around here." Carlos rolled his eyes and started taking off his hockey gear.

"Kendall, tell your wife to calm down-"

"WIFE!"

"-I'm not stupid I know how to act around kids." Kendall sighed and shook his head.

"That's… kind of true." Carlos pouted and crossed his arms over his chest. Kendall chuckled when he realized Logan was doing the same thing. "Well, while you two have a pout fight I'm going to get something to eat. Kendall walked into the kitchen and decided just to make himself a small breakfast. He took out a bagel and stuck it in the toaster and waited for it to be done. While he was waiting Logan and Carlos began to argue behind him. He shook his head and smirked. No matter how much Logan tried to be an adult his friends always found a way to make him a kid again.

"You do realize they are seconds away from a cat fight right?" James walked past Kendall and went straight to the frig. He glanced back at Kendall when he didn't answer right away.

"Yea but you know those were always fun to watch." James snorted and nodded his head.

"Unless you were caught in the middle of course." Kendall chuckled slightly instantly remembering the day of their first photo shoot. He had been standing in the middle of Logan and Carlos when they started slapping each other. When Kendall's bagel popped out of the toaster he grabbed it and took the butter out of the frig covered the bagel with it. He didn't bother to sit or get a plate and just leaned against the counter while he ate. James finished making himself cereal and turned around so he was leaning against the opposite counter facing Kendall. They remained quiet for a moment then James eyes flickered to Logan and Carlos in the living room then back to Kendall. "How is he?" Kendall peered over his shoulder and sighed.

"He may not look it but he's scared." James nodded in understanding and went back to eating. Kendall finished first and simply stayed where he was thinking of something to say.

"What about you?" Kendall sighed.

"I'm… nervous, but I also know if I let Logan know that he'll have a panic attack or something. He's like a dog. If you act scared he gets scared." James chuckled slightly.

"I can't believe you just compared Logan to a dog." James glanced past Kendall and started laughing. "You should really compare him to a cat because dogs don't fight like that." Kendall turned around and almost face palmed. Logan and Carlos were slapping at each other wildly while yelling random things. They really only hit each other's hands… or air. "Go for the kidneys!" Kendall turned around and gave James a "WTF" look. Of course he had to egg them on. Kendall walked around the counter and went straight to Carlos and Logan.

"YOU'RE STUPID!"

"NO YOU'RE STUPID!"

"STOP HITTING ME!"

"YOU STOP!"

"NO YOU STOP!" Kendall went to grab Carlos and Logan's hands but it was difficult when they were moving rapidly like that. In the end he couldn't help but to be slightly pulled into the slap fight. This making James laugh even harder from his spot in the kitchen.

"WILL YOU TWO STOP!" Kendall finally got a hold of one of Carlos' arms and moved him away from Logan. Logan and Carlos glared at each other before they stuck their tongues out making a "neeeghh" noise. Kendall rolled his eyes and smacked Logan's butt making him jump and yelp. "And you were just scolding Carlos for not acting like an adult. Logan pouted and pointed towards Carlos.

"He started it!" Kendall shook his head and grabbed Logan's hand leading him towards the door.

"In less than ten minutes you went from age 21 to 10." Logan ignored that comment and let Kendall drag him out the door.

* * *

"Well it's good to see you three doing well." Dr. Goodman walked into the small room and greeted Logan, Kendall, and Camille with a warm smile. She could see that they were excited but she could also detected the tension and apprehension. She made sure to check the blood and other tests before they arrived this time around and was happy to be the barer of good news. "I already looked over the tests and there was no reason for any alarm. The baby looks like they are doing very well." Logan let out a breath he didn't realize he was holding and relaxed. Camille gripped his hand and gave him a warm smile while Kendall wrapped his arm around Logan and rubbed his arm.

"So we are going to find out the sex now right?" Dr. Goodman nodded at Camille and she glanced at Logan and Kendall smiling. The doctor lifted Camille's shirt and applied and pressed the device to her stomach. When the baby appeared on the screen Dr. Goodman looked closely for a second then smiled.

"It looks like you have a baby girl." Kendall pulled Logan close and kissed the side of his head. Camille smiled at the two boys happy that they weren't suffering anymore. The doctor moved the device around a little more and was happy to find nothing out of the ordinary. She was about to turn everything off when she glanced toward Camille's stomach and gasped. Camille was looking at her stomach as well with wide eyes. Logan pulled away from Kendall slightly and looked between Camille and the doctor. Panic began to rise in him and he felt the sting of tears.

"W-what?" Dr. Goodman turned to Logan instantly feeling bad for her reaction.

"No, no, no, no, no… it's nothing bad!" Logan calmed down slightly and was now extremely confused. Camille simply grabbed Logan's hand and placed it on her stomach. Logan was still confused but then he felt movement. Logan gasped and looked toward the doctor. "Your baby is able to move around a lot more now." Logan smiled as he continued to feel the shuttle movements. Kendall quickly put his hand on Camille's stomach as well not wanting to miss it. After another few seconds the movement stopped and everyone seemed to get out of the trance they were in. Camille couldn't help but laugh at the goofy grins on Kendall and Logan's faces as they pulled their hands off Camille's stomach.

"So… everything is fine?" Kendall turned to Dr. Goodman expectantly and smiled when she nodded. The three thanked the doctor and left happily. Logan wasn't the only one who believed that this meant everything would go smoothly.

* * *

When Logan and Kendall entered their apartment Carlos, James, and Mrs. Knight attacked them with questions while Katie watched from the couch. They waited for them to quiet down before Kendall spoke up.

"It's a girl!"

"A healthy girl." Logan added. Mrs. Knight squealed and pulled the two boys into a hug. They both made a sound when air was forced out of their lungs.

"Mom… you're killing us." She pulled away and gave an apologetic smile before squealing again and squeezing Kendall's cheeks. Kendall pulled away and blushed. "Mooommmm!" Logan, James, and Carlos chuckled at Kendall's embarrassment. When Mrs. Knight stepped away James and Carlos stepped forward and gave Kendall and Logan a hug.

"Where's Camille." Carlos glanced past Kendall and Logan to the still open door but he didn't see her.

"She went back to her place to take a nap." Carlos nodded at Logan and everyone walked into the apartment. Kendall and Logan sat down on the couch and everyone else sat with them. Katie reached for the remote and turned on the TV and everyone moved their attention from Logan and Kendall to it. Logan scoot over and cuddled into Kendall's side. He drew circles on Kendall's chest and laid his head in the crock of his neck. "Kendall?"

"Hmm?"

"I was wondering when you thought we should start thinking of names." Logan blushed feeling a little foolish and girly. When Kendall didn't say anything he looked up at him.

"Is it weird that I already thought of a couple?" Logan smiled and kissed Kendall on the lips.

"No."

**A/N: YEY! Everything is ok. I hope I didn't scare you with that one part lol. You know i was very tempted to do the usual its twins! but then i was like eehhh... then i would have to make sure they both get equal amounts of attention and i'm to lazy for that lol. Im not sure when a baby starts kicking. When I looked it up it said the baby should start moving around and you know what I don't real care for accuracy so if its not accurate deal with it. I've never been pregers! Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this chapter. the next one is going to be another time skip.**

**There is more to come.**


	11. Molly

"Yes, I may meet a million pretty girls that know my name. But don't you worry, cause you have my heart" Logan was standing in front of the stove in Camille's kitchen as he sang quietly to himself. The smell of chili and rice was soon filling the apartment and making Camille's mouth water. She was watching Logan cook from the kitchen table smiling with her hand on her stomach. She noticed that the baby would kick when ever Kendall and Logan were talking and whenever Logan was singing. She recognized their voices so well. Camille only had a few more weeks until her do date so they decided that someone should be with her at all times to stay on the safe side. It annoyed Gustavo that one of the boys was always missing but because they rotated everyday recording still got done.

Kendall and Logan started thinking about getting their own apartment but Gustavo wasn't having it. He said that it would just become more of a hassle and it would be harder to keep track of them. Kendall and Logan then tried to get their own apartment at the Palm Woods but apparently, according to Bitters' anyway, there weren't any available. So in the end the four boys went through the usual scheming and shenanigans and were able to get an extension on their apartment. Bitters wasn't happy about it until Kelly offered him a check with some large amount of money.

The extension on the apartment was a large nursery that was placed next to Kendall and Logan's room. There were two doors that could be used to enter it, one from the hallway and one from Kendall and Logan's room. As a surprise for the two boys Camille, Mrs. Knight, Katie, and Jo got together and decorated the room. They didn't go for the usual pink because honestly none of them really liked the color. Instead they used different shades of green and a couple other colors. Thanks to Kelly they were able to go shopping for toys, clothes, and other necessities that Kendall and Logan would need and when they got back and saw everything they were very thankful.

Camille placed her hand on her stomach and made a face. The baby was moving around a lot today and it was starting to hurt. Logan stopped singing once he was done cooking. He took out some plates, cups, and forks and placed them on the table. He served Camille the chili and she took it gratefully. Once she started eating Logan served himself and sat down as well.

"This is amazing Logan. The others are lucky to have you cooking for them." Logan smirked and nodded.

"If James, Kendall, and Carlos ever tried to cook by themselves they would probably burn down the Palm Woods." Camille laughed and the two continued to make small talk as they ate. Once they were finished Logan cleaned the dishes and they moved to Camille's couch to watch TV. Camille rubbed her stomach as another small pain came. She didn't think much of it because the doctor said that would happen a lot for her last weeks but she couldn't help but be annoyed by them. Logan sat back and ran his fingers through his hair. He had stayed at Camille's over night and hadn't had a chance to shower. The left over gel was flaky and gross.

"Logan you can use my shower if you really don't want to go back to your place. It's right down the hall I won't die if you're not watching me 24/7." Logan blushed slightly and nodded. He really had been watching Camille like a hawk lately and he was surprised she wasn't annoyed with him. He figured that she understood he was paranoid and excepted it. Logan got off the couch and grabbed the change of clothes he had brought with him. He walked into the bathroom and closed the door before stripping quickly. He turned on the shower and made sure it was at a comfortable temperature before stepping in. He sighed as the cool water ran over his body and wet his hair. It had been a humid day so the cool water washing away his sweat and dirt was a nice feeling. Logan washed his hair and turned off the shower. He stepped out, dried himself and put on his clothes before looking at himself in the mirror. Logan ran his fingers through his hair and watched it stick up. He never really needed to use that much gel. It usually just stuck up like that on its own. Logan was pushed out of his thoughts when he heard a gasp from the other room.

'Camille!" He ran out and noticed she wasn't on the couch. He turned and noticed she was in the kitchen looking down at the floor. There was water on the floor and Logan sighed. "Did you spill something?" Camille looked up and shook her head frantically.

"Logan… my water broke!" Logan blinked for a second suddenly going brain dead.

"Your water… OH MY GOD!" Camille and Logan both let out a scream.

"WHY ARE YOU SCREAMING?"

"I DON'T KNOW!" Logan ran to Camille's room and grabbed the bag she had made for herself. He ran back to the kitchen and grabbed Camille's hand leading her out of the apartment. As they walked down the hall they happened to pass Jo and Mrs. Knight who were on their way to check on them.

"What's going on?" Jo ran over to them and Mrs. Knight was not far behind.

"Camille went into labor!" Mrs. Knight gasped.

"But she's not due for another four weeks." Camille pointed to his stomach with wide eyes.

"Tell her that." Mrs. Knight and Jo each took one of Camille's hands and led her to the elevator. Logan walked behind them with her bag and took out his cell phone to call Kendall.

* * *

James, Carlos, and Kendall looked at each other as Gustavo yelled at them. They thought they had been doing great but according to Gustavo that wasn't the case. Kendall looked down towards his pocket when he heard a ding noise. He took out his phone and let out a sigh.

"Not again." James leaned over to look at Kendall's phone.

"You really need to learn how to use a charger." Kendall turned and glared at James as he stuck his phone back in his pocket.

"This coming from the guy whose phone died before we even got here." James pouted and crossed his arms.

"Hey, I always charge my phone and forgot one time. You never remember." Kendall huffed and turned back to Gustavo who was still ranting. He glanced over at Carlos who was chuckling.

"You guys are so dumb. Even I remembered to charge my…" Carlos pulled his phone out of his pocket and realized it wasn't on. He pressed a couple of buttons but nothing happened. James and Kendall gave Carlos a smug look as he smiled sheepishly at them.

"PAY ATTENTION!"

* * *

Don't any of them know how to use a charger?" Logan hung up when it went straight to Carlos' voice mail. He was sitting in the backseat of Mrs. Knight's car sitting next to Camille as she gripped his hand. "Seriously they never OW OW OW OW!" Camille squeezed Logan's hand when a sharp pain came. Jo was rubbing her arm trying to comfort her. Mrs. Knight glanced back through the review mirror at the group and sped up.

"Don't worry we're almost there." When Camille released Logan's hand he held it close to his chest and tried moving his fingers.

"My hand is numb." Logan picked up his phone and held it in his good hand. He went through the contacts and dialed the one person he knew was responsible enough to charge their phone.

* * *

Kendall, James and, Carlos were in the middle of recording when Kelly's phone rang. She stepped a couple feet away so she wouldn't disturb Gustavo and pulled out her phone. She furrowed her eyebrows when she noticed it was Logan.

"Hello?"

"_Oh Kelly thank god you picked up! Is Kendall with you?" _

"Yea, what's wrong Logan?"

"_He has to get to the hospital now Camille went into Labor."_ Kelly gasped and promised she would get him there before hanging up. She scrambled over to Gustavo and reached over him to turn of the music. He looked at her and was about to yell something when she turned on the mic. The three boys were waiting for Gustavo to start yelling at them but they were surprised to hear Kelly instead.

"Kendall Logan just called me, he is on his way to the hospital Camille went into labor."

"WHAT!" The three boys threw off their head sets and ran out of the recording booth. Instead of yelling at them Gustavo was waving at them letting him know he was alright with them leaving. They ran out of Rocque Records and Kelly was right behind them. She told the limo driver where to go before jumping in the back with the three boys.

* * *

Because of LA's horrible traffic it had taken James, Carlos, Kendall, and Kelly over an hour to get to the hospital. They ran inside and Kendall slammed into the desk scaring the nurse who was stationed there.

"I'm looking for Camille Sanders she's pregnant and in labor. The nurse nodded and looked through her computer.

"Her delivery room is room 345. That's down the hall to the left. Kendall nodded and everyone took off down the hall. They got to another waiting room and Mrs. Knight was there waiting for them.

"Mom!" She turned around and James, Carlos, Kendall, and Kelly stopped in front of her.

"Logan and Jo are inside with Camille. What took you so long?" Kendall huffed and started moving past her.

"Traffic." He went through the double doors and looked at the room numbers. When he spotted Camille's room he ran inside. Jo was on one side of Camille and Logan was on the other. Camille was gripping his hand making Logan cringe in pain and mouth the word "ow" over and over again. When Camille seemed to relax everyone realized Kendall was there.

"Kendall!" Logan stood up straight and moved to him. He pulled him into a hug and leaned his head against his chest. Logan felt ten times better now that Kendall was with him. A second later James and Carlos came in. They patted Logan on the shoulder and moved to Camille's side.

"How are you doing Camille?" Camille sighed and looked up at Carlos.

"It's painful but the pain killers are starting to kick in." Logan scoffed and everyone looked at him. He was rubbing his hand as he looked at Camille.

"If the pain killers were kicking in my hand wouldn't be dead." Camille smiled sheepishly at Logan but didn't feel that bad. Everyone turned when a doctor walked into the room. He looked over the group for a moment with a raised eyebrow.

"Camille is about ready to deliver so you can't all be in here." James and Carlos nodded and wished Camille good luck before stepping out. Kendall and Logan moved to be by Camille's head when the doctor moved to the end of the bed. They didn't want to see anything they shouldn't. A couple nurses came in and Kendall and Logan looked at each other before gripping each other's hands. Kendall gave his other hand to Camille thinking that Logan's poor hand had suffered enough. The doctor pulled up his mask so it covered his face and let out a breath. "Ok, let's get this party started."

**A/N: I know labor is usually like hours and hours but in my fanfic its not! Lol but there is still a little time skip.**

* * *

The delivery had gone smoothly but that didn't mean Logan and Kendall didn't worry. The baby was premature which meant there was a chance she could get sick. The next few weeks were going to be critical and Logan and Kendall could only pray that she would pull through. The doctor insured them that she had a good chance. With all of today's technologies premature babies stood a very good chance of making it. They had moved Camille to a new room and everyone was in there. Carlos, James, Kendall, and Katie were sitting on the floor in the corner playing poker. They weren't playing for money considering the three boys knew Katie would win every time. They were really just playing to past the time. Camille was sleeping in her bed and Jo and Mrs. Knight were sitting off to the side talking quietly. Logan was sitting in a chair watching his friends play poker but every now and then his eyes would flicker to the door. They had to take the baby. Logan didn't get a chance to hold her. They had to make sure she was healthy but Logan still hated that she was so close yet so far away.

"You ok?" Kendall sat next to Logan and wrapped his arm around him. Logan leaned back against Kendall and let out a sigh. He fixed his eyes on the door willing someone to walk through and tell him where his baby was.

"I want to see her." Kendall nodded his head and rubbed Logan's arm.

"We will." A few minutes later the doctor walked in. Everyone stopped what they were doing and turned their attention to him.

"The baby is doing very well. She'll need to stay here for a few weeks to make sure she doesn't develop any illnesses." Logan stood up.

"Can we see her?" The doctor nodded and gestured for them to follow. They walked down the hall and entered a large room. It appeared to be a nursery but at the current moment there weren't any other babies in there. Logan heard a small noise and walked straight over to what looked like a small tank. He let out a breath when he saw her. She was so small and fragile that Logan was afraid she would break at any moment. There were tubes surrounding her and Logan couldn't help the worry he felt. She was asleep so Logan didn't want to wake her even though he had a nagging urge to hold her. Even if she was awake it probably wouldn't be a good idea. Kendall walked over and smiled down at her. James, Carlos, Mrs. Knight and Jo came over next and they couldn't help but be amazed by how small she was.

"She's so tiny." Carlos bent over to get a closer look and smiled. Kendall and Logan shook their heads at Carlos and suddenly everyone's attention was on them. "What are you going to name her?" Kendall and Logan looked at each other and smiled.

"Molly." As soon as they both spoke Molly's eyes opened. She moved her little arms around before falling back asleep. Mrs. Knight "aw'd."

"She recognized your voices." Kendall wrapped his arm around Logan and kissed him sweetly. They looked into each other's eyes and saw nothing but love. They still had a little while before everything would be perfect but they were close.

* * *

In the four weeks Logan had to wait he thought he was going to die. Camille only had to stay at the hospital for a week and she was already back to normal. They had to wait until the doctor thought Molly was total healthy before she could go home with them. And because of the risk of her getting sick he couldn't hold her only watch her.

Logan and Kendall were in the waiting room waiting to hear how Molly was doing. They should be able to bring her home but they didn't want to get their hopes up. The doctor walked up to them with a smile.

"Molly is healthy and ready to go home." Logan smiled brightly and followed the doctor while gripping Kendall's hand. They walked into the nursery and she was now in a crib rather than a tank. She wasn't as small as she was when she was born. She was about the size she should have been if she wasn't premature and she was looking very healthy. She was wearing lime green footsy pajamas and was wrapped in a yellow blanket. She was awake and Logan noticed for the first time she had green eyes. Her hair had also grown out and it was a dark brown. Logan reached into the crib and picked her up. It was the first time he was allowed to hold her. He let out a breath and his smile grew when she looked up at him. Her expression was almost questioning.

"Hi Molly." Her questioning expression went away as soon as Logan spoke. She made a noise and reached her hand out towards Logan's face. Logan leaned down slightly and allowed her to grab his nose. She touched it for a moment then pulled away. She had a small smile on her face as she did so.

"She smiles like you." Logan looked up at Kendall as he stood next to him. Kendall reached his hand out and moved the blanket slightly so he could see her face. He smiled and waved when he realized she was looking at him. "You look good holding her." Logan smiled and kissed Kendall softly. He looked back down at Molly and felt his eyes sting with tears.

"She's so beautiful." Kendall wrapped his arm around Logan's waist and pulled him close. He kissed the top of Logan's head then leaned his head against his.

"Let's go home." Logan nodded and handed her to Kendall so he could wipe his eyes. Kendall smiled down at her and placed her in the carrier they brought with them. Logan leaned against Kendall as they signed her out of the hospital and left. Logan locked her in the back seat of the car and smiled at her.

"You get to go home now. You can meet Uncle James and Carlos. And your Aunt Katie, Jo and Camille and your grandma." Logan climbed in next to her so he would be right there if she needed anything. Kendall glanced at his review mirror and smiled at Logan before driving off.

* * *

When they walked through the lobby of the Palm Woods they had to stop every few seconds so people could see their baby. Normally Logan didn't like attention but he was too excited to care. When they finally made it to 2J everyone was in the apartment waiting for them. They all jumped off the couch and ran over to Kendall and Logan. Mrs. Knight was the first to hold her. She rocked her slightly and had a huge smile on her face. Jo held her next then Katie, then Camille. Camille did feel a slight connection to Molly but it wasn't motherly. She promised herself there and then that she would be a friend to her and be there for everything that Kendall and Logan couldn't handle. Like boys or any other girly problem. James and Carlos also got a chance to hold her but Kendall couldn't help but snicker when Logan tensed a little. Logan wasn't sure how "adult" his friends were yet. When everyone was done Logan brought her to the nursery. He stood at the door and let out a sigh and looked down at her.

"Welcome home."

**A/N: YEY! Happiness! I'm not going to end it here I want to do some more chapters that will involve Logan and Kendall raising her. It will have humor and some angsty stuff and cuteness. =]**

**There is more to come.**

**When I think of the part were Logan is holding her for the first time the song Somewhere over the rainbow by Isfael Kamakawiwo'ole comes to my head. It's really good and cute. =]**


	12. trust

"Once again Carlos, no!" Logan walked into the kitchen and opened the microwave and took out a bottle. He tested it on his hand before offering it to Molly who was sitting in his arms. Carlos walked in after him and huffed.

"Why? Don't you trust me?" Logan sighed and turned towards Carlos.

"Carlos I do trust you but one, you only wanted to take her so you can pick up chicks and two, I'm still getting used to trusting myself to take care of her how do you expect me to trust you. No offense Carlos but I'm not really comfortable with the idea yet." Carlos sighed heavily. He felt a little hurt that Logan didn't trust him but he couldn't really be surprised. Besides Kendall, Mrs. Knight was the only other person who was allowed to watch Molly when Logan wasn't around. Even Camille had to be supervised. The most Logan would give anyone was the few seconds it would take him to leave the room and come back and even then he speed walked. Carlos glanced down at Molly when she moved her face away from her bottle and made a high pitch sound. She was looking at Carlos frowning. She always copied the expressions people had and at the current moment she was copying Carlos' hurt. Logan made a small whimpering noise and sighed. "Hold her." Carlos took Molly from Logan and watched confused as he walked off. Carlos looked down at her and made a couple of funny faces making her laugh.

"Your dad sure is a strange one." Molly smiled and made a few babbling noises. "Oh so you agree with me." Carlos looked around soon realizing that Logan was gone longer than usual. He would usually only leave the room for a few seconds but it had been at least a minute. "That's a new record."

Logan glanced back at Carlos before he was out of sight. He wasn't even comfortable with leaving Carlos alone with her for more than a few seconds. How was he expected to be comfortable with leaving her with him for a few hours? Logan walked into his and Kendall's room and found Kendall sitting on his bed listening to music. Logan walked over and sat down on the bed making Kendall look at him.

"Where is Molly?" Logan gestured towards the door.

"With Carlos in the kitchen." Kendall furrowed his eyebrows and sat up.

"I'm surprised it's been more than three seconds and you're not running back in there." Kendall was smirking but he frowned when he realized Logan looked sad.

"Am I really that bad?" Kendall sighed and placed his hand on Logan's knee rubbing it.

"Honestly you are but I don't blame you. What first time parent isn't over protective? You just want to make sure she is safe." Logan sighed and looked away.

"Yea but I feel bad. Carlos thinks I don't trust him and I don't want to hurt his feelings like that. He wants to bring Molly with him and James to the park but… I don't know how I feel about that." Logan looked back at Kendall. "What do you think?" Kendall thought about it for a moment and sighed.

"I don't know. She is only six months old and I'd rather not have her far away for that long. Maybe we could compromise."

"What do you mean?"

"Let Carlos take her to Palm Wood's park. It's right outside and we would be able to see them from the window in the nursery." Logan thought about it for a moment.

"I think I can do that." Logan kissed Kendall before getting up and walking back to the kitchen. To him the fact that he was able to leave Carlos with Molly for a little while was definitely a big step. When he walked back into the kitchen Carlos hadn't moved from his spot. He gave Logan questioning look when he walked back into the room and immediately handed her over. Logan looked down at her and smiled at the happy noise she made when she was put in Logan's arms. Logan furrowed his eyebrows and glanced back up at Carlos sighing. "Carlos…" Carlos looked at Logan expectantly.

"Yes." Logan sighed.

"30 minutes and that's it." Carlos cheered but Logan stopped him. "And stay at the Palm Woods Park. Carlos nodded and took Molly from Logan. He took the bag that Logan made for whenever he went out with Molly and went to his and James' room to get James. When James walked out of the room with a surprised look on his face he couldn't help but notice the look of terror on Logan's face. He sighed and walked over to Logan so Carlos wouldn't hear them.

"You know Logan don't let Carlos guilt you into anything. If you're not comfortable with this I understand and I'm sure Carlos will too." Logan sighed but smiled at James.

"Don't worry I trust you guys." James nodded and patted Logan's shoulder before exiting the apartment with Carlos. Logan watched the door longingly before turning on his heel and running towards his and Kendall's room. He sped walk past Kendall and entered the nursery and went straight to the window. It took about a minute but James and Carlos came into view.

"When I said we could still see them from the window I didn't mean to stalk them." Logan glanced behind him and narrowed his eyes at Kendall. He ignored the comment and turned back around.

'I suddenly regret my decision." Kendall sighed and moved to Logan's side. He glanced outside and rolled his eyes when he noticed James and Carlos were already attracting women. "They're using her to get laid." Logan scrunched his nose in annoyance and huffed. Kendall shook his head and pulled Logan away from the window ignoring his whine of protest.

"Trust them. They will take care of her." Logan sighed but nodded. Kendall pulled him close and smirked mischievously. "This is the first time we've been alone in a while." Logan wrapped his arms around Kendall's neck matching his smile.

"Really?" Kendall nodded and crushed his lips to Logan's. Logan cupped Kendall's face as he moved his lips against his. Logan parted his lips and moaned when Kendall inserted his tongue. He pushed Kendall backwards until the passed through the door leading to their room. When they reached the bed Kendall turned them around before Logan could push him down and lightly threw Logan onto the bed. Logan went to turn around but Kendall climbed onto the bed behind him and held onto his hips keeping him in place. He glanced back over his shoulder as Kendall leaned over him and ground his hips into his ass.

"I want you Logan." Kendall flipped Logan over and laid himself between Logan's legs. He started to grind down groaning as he and Logan began to harden. Logan wrapped his legs around Kendall's waist and moved his hands to Kendall's shirt starting to lift it. He almost had it completely off when Logan's phone began to ring.

"Kendall… Kendall wait a minute." Kendall ignored Logan and continued to grind into him. He attached his lips to Logan's neck and began to nip and suck. Logan's eyes rolled back and he let out a whine at the pleasure. When his phone rang again he knew he couldn't ignore it. "Kendaaaalll… it could be Carlos or James." Kendall sighed and lifted himself off Logan so he could answer his phone. Logan sat up and reached over to his night stand and grabbed his phone. He was right about his assumption noticing it was Carlos.

"Hello?"

* * *

"Aw! She's so cute!" Carlos and James looked at each other as two girls walked over to them and smiled at Molly. The blonde girl looked up at Carlos and smiled at him. "Is she yours?"

"No, I'm watching her for my friend." The blonde girl looked towards her brunette friend. They both seemed to be speaking to each other with their expressions but Carlos wasn't sure what they were saying.

"That's so thoughtful of you." The brunette said. She turned her attention towards James and gave him a flirtatious smile. "I'm Jenna, what's your name?" James held out his hand and gave Jenna his signature smile.

"James." James and Jenna began to talk amongst themselves and basically forgot about Carlos and the blonde girl. Carlos turned his attention to Molly when she made a noise. He reached over to the bag and pulled out the bottle she hadn't finished and offered it to her.

"What's her name?" Carlos looked up at the blonde girl with a smile."

'Molly and I'm Carlos. You know our names… now what's yours?" The blonde girl giggled and blushed.

"My name is Jackie." Carlos smiled.

"Well Jackie, would you like an ice cream?" She smiled and nodded. They walked over to an ice cream truck that was parked by the street. Carlos ordered a vanilla cone for Jackie and peanut butter swirl for himself. They sat on a bench and talked while they ate their ice cream. They both looked down when Molly started babbling.

'Maybe she wants some." Jackie joked. Carlos chuckled and looked down at Molly.

"Is that true Molly, do you want some?" Carlos offered his cone to Molly and she took a small bit of it. She smacked her lips a few times then made a face. Carlos frowned when he noticed she started breathing strangle and his eyes widened when she coughed.

"Is she ok?" Jackie grew panicked when Molly continued to cough. Carlos shot up and ran towards James.

"JAMES!" James turned and ran towards Carlos when he noticed the panic in his face. When he reached him he noticed how Molly was coughing and breathing strangely.

"What happened?"

"I don't know! What do we do?" James took Molly from Carlos and started patting her on the back.

"Call Logan." Carlos took out his phone and dialed Logan's number. The one thought on his mind as it continued to ring.

"_Logan is going to kill me!"_

* * *

Logan's face turned from flushed to panicked in an instant. He jumped up and redid his pants, which Kendall must have undone at some point.

"What! Carlos what are you talking about? What happened?" Kendall stood up as well and followed Logan out of the room. Logan grabbed his car keys and Kendall's worry grew as he followed Logan out the door. "YOU DID WHAT! Carlos how can you be so irresponsible! Do you realize what you've done?" Logan hung up in anger as he and Kendall entered the elevator. He laced his fingers behind his head and started breathing erratically. Kendall cupped Logan's face trying to calm him.

"Logan what's going on?"

"Carlos gave her peanut butter. The doctor said not to feed her peanut butter because we can't tell if she's allergic to it yet! Carlos said she started coughing and breathing hard so she's probably having an allergic reaction!" Logan ran out of the elevator as soon as the doors open and spotted James and Carlos standing in the lobby. Kendall and Logan ran over and Logan immediately took Molly from James to look her over. Kendall stood in front of Logan his eyebrows furrowing in worry when he noticed her erratic breathing. Without saying anything to Carlos or James they left the Palm woods and headed for Logan's car. Kendall took Logan's keys from his pocket and they both jumped inside speeding off.

Carlos ran his hands through his hair and cursed to himself. "James I am so stupid! Logan is never going to forgive me for this" James sighed.

"I'm not gunna lie Carlos I don't think he'll ever trust either of us ever again." They ran towards the parking lot and made their way to the Big time rush mobile. They both jumped in and drove towards the hospital. When they arrived Kendall and Logan were in the waiting room and Carlos and James almost didn't want to go in when they realized Logan was crying. James and Carlos looked at each other before walking in to the hospital. The slowly made their way over to Kendall and Logan and tentatively stood off to the side not really wanting to make their presence known. Kendall ran his fingers through Logan's hair and whispered to him soothingly. He glanced up noticing James and Carlos and let out a sigh. They were both hit with guilt when they saw the disappointment on his face. After a few minutes a doctor walked out to greet them. Logan held onto Kendall tightly and wiped his eye with the back of his hands.

"Molly is fine. She had a small allergic reaction but there wasn't any permanent damage. Make sure she stays on a strict diet. Now that we know she is allergic to peanuts there is a number of other things she can also be allergic to." Kendall and Logan nodded at the doctor and he walked away. A moment later a nurse came out holding Molly in her arms. She was crying and fusing as the nurse brought her over. Logan immediately took her into his arms and let out a relieved breath. He rocked her and bounced slightly trying to get her to calm down. Eventually she laid her head against Logan's chest and went to sleep. Logan placed his hand on her back and rubbed it soothingly. He turned to leave and noticed James and Carlos for the first time. He let out a heavy sigh before walking past them.

"Logan…" James reached out to stop him but Logan stepped out of his reach.

"Don't… I can't talk to you right now." Logan walked past them and Kendall did the same after giving James and Carlos a sympathetic look. Carlos sighed and ran his fingers through his hair.

"Let's go." James nodded and the two made their way out of the hospital.

* * *

James and Carlos walked into apartment 2J right behind Logan and Kendall. No matter how hard they tried Logan wouldn't talk to them and Kendall only gave them one word answers. James couldn't help but think that Kendall was just waiting to get them back home before he blew up on them. Why waste words when they were going to hear plenty later. When they stepped into the apartment Mrs. Knight and Katie were sitting in the kitchen. Mrs. Knight smiled to greet the boys but then she noticed their faces. James and Carlos looked like they just killed someone. Kendall looked like he was about to explode and Logan looked like he had been crying. He was holding Molly close to him and he looked like he would never let her go. Without a word Logan walked to the nursery and closed the door behind him. Kendall went to the couch and turned around to face James and Carlos.

"Sit." They both moved to the couch quickly and sat down quietly not wanting to give Kendall another reason to kill them. Mrs. Knight and Katie looked at each other before turning back to the three wondering what was going on. "You know Logan isn't talking to you because he is afraid he'll say something that he'll regret but I honestly don't care. What the hell is wrong with you two? Logan did something that he probably wasn't even ready for because he trusted you and you fucked up. Don't tell me you didn't know because I know you did. Logan told you a thousand times what she can and cannot eat but you didn't really care about that did you. You were too focused on using her to get girls to pay attention to you. You should consider yourselves lucky that she isn't severely allergic. If she was she could have died. We all know that Logan is paranoid because he is afraid that Molly or me or you two are going to be taken away from him just like everyone else. I would have thought you would be more careful because of that." James opened his mouth to say something but Kendall held his hand up stopping him. "Save it. You know, you guys are my best friends and I trust you with a lot of things. I trust you with my life but it's not my life that's the issue here. God! I can't even leave Molly with you two for more than ten minutes before you put her in the hospital!"

"Woah, Woah, Woah!" Mrs. Knight walked around the counter and walked over to Kendall. "What do you mean put Molly in the hospital? What's going on Kendall? What happened? Is she ok?" Kendall sighed and turned his attention away from James and Carlos.

"She's fine. We had to take her to the emergency room because Carlos decided to give her peanut butter. She had an allergic reaction." Mrs. Knight put her hands on her hips and gave Carlos a look that showed she wasn't pleased at all.

"What?" Carlos recoiled slightly.

"It wasn't peanut butter exactly it was ice cream… with peanut butter in it." Kendall crossed his arms over his chest and rolled his eyes.

"Oh yea, that makes it better." Carlos looked down at the floor as a few tears slid down his face. Kendall sighed his anger faltering. "Listen, I know you are sorry but sorry just isn't going to cut it." Carlos looked up at Kendall with a sad expression.

"Is the bad stuff over?" Kendall sighed and nodded. He couldn't hold a grudge against Carlos or James but that didn't mean they were off the hook. Carlos and James both stood up slowly gauging Kendall's reaction. Kendall sighed and pulled Carlos into a hug showing he didn't hate him. Kendall then hugged James and the tension seemed to dissipate. Kendall sighed and gestured towards the hall.

"You should probably talk to Logan." James and Carlos looked at each other suddenly feeling tension in the air again. Logan was paranoid enough and they just gave him another reason to freak out. They let Logan down. James sighed and started walking down the hall. After a second Carlos started walking with him and they both ended at the door to the nursery. Logan was sitting on the floor facing away from them. He was sitting on Molly's play mat and she was crawling around playing with her different toys. She crawled over to Logan and he picked her up and kissed her on the cheek making her giggle. She peered past Logan and started making babbling noises while moving her arms around. Logan looked behind him and he frowned. James didn't miss how Logan pulled Molly to his chest like seeing him and Carlos plagued Logan with the idea that she would slip away. James and Carlos moved around Logan and sat across from him. They stayed silent for a long while. The only person making any noise was Molly. After another minute James finally broke the silence.

"Logan, I'm sorry doesn't cover it but I still need to say it. I'm sorry." Logan sighed and set Molly back on the ground when she started reaching for her toys.

"I know."

"What can we do to make it up to you? I don't want you to hate us." Carlos expression was sad and pleading and it hurt Logan to see him like that.

"I don't know." James sighed and rested his chin on his hands. He was so deep in thought that he didn't realize Molly had crawled over to him and was begin to crawl onto his lap. James didn't move and looked up at Logan. He wasn't sure how Logan would react to him trying to pick her up but Logan was only watching with an emotionless expression. James slowly reached down and lifted Molly up always glancing at Logan to gauge his reaction. He felt like he was standing in front of a mother grizzly bear while holding her cub. Molly reached her hands out and started touching James' face. She tried to match his expression making James realize how freaked out he looked. James smiled at Molly and made a few funny faces making her laugh. She reached out and James pulled her close letting her wrap her tiny arms around his neck.

"Aw she's hugging you James!" The tension fell when the three boys could no longer avoid the cuteness. Logan sighed making James and Carlos look at him.

"If she can forgive you I think I can too." Carlos and James sighed with relief but Logan spoke up again. "But I am never leaving her alone with you two **ever** again." Carlos frowned but he wasn't going to argue. It would take more than a hug for Logan to trust him again but he planned on doing anything in his power to make sure that happened.

**A/N: DONE! I got the idea for this because when my sister was visiting a year ago with my niece my brother in law mention that he gave her peanut butter and my sister flipped out because they didn't know if she was allergic to peanut butter yet. I hope you enjoyed this chapter. **

**There is more to come. **


	13. first

Logan, James, Carlos and Kendall were just finishing up their dance practice with Mr. X when Gustavo and Kelly walked in.

"You dogs are done for the day." The four boys let out a sigh of relief but Gustavo quickly spoke up again. "BUT, in two weeks you four are performing a concert at the Hard Rock. That means starting on Monday I want you here an hour earlier and you will be here an hour later each day." The four boys groaned as Gustavo left. Kelly gave them each a sympathetic smile.

"Have a nice weekend boys." The waved to her as she sped walked to catch up with Gustavo. Once they gathered all their things they made their way out of the studio still happy they would have the next two days off. As they walked towards the limo a thought occurred to Logan.

"Kendall, Molly's first birthday is in two weeks. You don't think the concert is on the same day do you?" Kendall shook his head and wrapped his arm around Logan.

"I don't think so but I'll call Kelly later to make sure." Logan nodded and climbed into the limo behind James and Carlos.

* * *

When they entered the apartment Katie was sitting on the couch with her head phones on. When she spotted the boys she jumped up and ran towards them. She grabbed Logan and Kendall's arms and started dragging them towards the hall.

"Thank god you two are home!" Kendall and Logan looked at each other confused. When they reached the nursery Mrs. Knight was holding Molly as she cried. When she spotted them she pushed against Mrs. Knight's chest until she put her down. Once her feet hit the ground she ran (or as best she could run) to Kendall. She held her arms up and tugged on Kendall's pants wanting to be lifted up. Once Kendall did so she wrapped her arms around his neck tightly. Katie sighed heavily. "She's been crying since the minute you guys left!" Mrs. Knight gave Katie a look.

"Katie, she is only a baby and it looks to me like she's in the clingy stage." Logan and Kendall looked at each other confused.

"What do you mean clingy stage?" Everyone turned when James walked into the room with Carlos right behind him.

"I mean she's going to be clingy. She'll follow you around now that she's walking and as soon as you're out of sight she'll start crying. She cries every time Kendall leaves the room." Kendall made a face and went to pull Molly off his neck.

"I think you're exaggerating just a little mom." As soon as Kendall put Molly on the ground she was whining and crying and just begging for Kendall to pick her up again. Kendall looked up at his mom with a surprised expression. "Ok, maybe you weren't exaggerating."

"Yep, I'm afraid it's a Knight thing. You and Katie were the same exact way." Katie and Kendall gave each other skeptical looks and scoffed. They were two of the world's most independent people. Them being clingy had to be a joke. Logan chuckled and bent down to pick Molly up. Instead of wrapping her arms around his neck she reached out for Kendall. Logan had to place his hand on her back so she wouldn't fall backwards.

"Well I guess we know who her favorite is." Logan rolled his eyes at Carlos as he handed Molly to Kendall. That was just ridiculous. Why would she have a favorite?

For the rest of the night Logan couldn't help but think Carlos was right even though he was joking. She followed Kendall around and if she lost sight of him for a second she cried like she was abandoned. Logan didn't want to admit it but he started feeling a little jealous. When he really thought about it this had been going on for about a week already and the fact that Molly wasn't really paying attention to where he was hurt just a little.

When Logan put Molly to bed he walked into his and Kendall's room and plopped onto the bed. He folded his arms behind his head and let out a sigh making Kendall look at him.

"Ok, what's wrong?" When Kendall sat up Logan gave him a confused look.

"Wha-"

"I know you Logan. Something's bothering you." Logan sighed. Kendall could read him like an open book. He looked away from Kendall and blushed slightly. He felt like a fool.

"It's nothing… it's just… its stupid don't worry about it." Kendall gave Logan a look that showed he wasn't buying it. After a minute of silence Logan sighed in defeat when Kendall didn't stop giving him that look.

"Come on Logie, you can tell me anything."

"It's just… I knew you would be her favorite as she got older but I didn't think that would happen this soon." Kendall sighed and pulled Logan up into a sitting position.

"First of all we shouldn't even be thinking about who her favorite is and who isn't because she doesn't have one and secondly, why do you think I would be her favorite?" Logan looked down at his hands and started playing with his thumbs.

"Well you're laidback and cool and I'm uptight and boring. She'll want to do more fun stuff with you… I'll probably just nag her all the time." Kendall pulled Logan close and wrapped his arms around his waist.

"Aw Logie, you can't think that. You're not boring. You're fun to be around and your hilarious if she is going to have a favorite it's probably going to be you." Logan looked up at Kendall with a questioning look.

"Why do you say that?"

"When she's older what curfew would you give her?"

"I wouldn't give her one because I'd trust her to call me and tell me where she is and what time she would be home."

"I'd give her a 10 o'clock curfew until she was 18. What would you do if she told you she was ready for sex?"

"I'd tell her all the pros and cons and the consequences of not using protection."

"I'd find the guy she wants to sleep with and chop his dick off." Logan made a face making Kendall chuckle. "You see, you are too trusting. You wouldn't give her a curfew or any rules about dating because you trust her to be responsible and because of that she would come to you for her problems. I would probably just scold her." Logan sighed.

"No you wouldn't."

"Who yelled at James and Carlos for giving her peanut butter?"

"You."

"Well there you go." Logan sighed and lay back down on the bed. Kendall lay next to him and ran his fingers over Logan's face.

"If that's true why is she following you around so much?" Kendall thought about it for a moment then frowned slightly."

"It's because I don't do enough." Logan furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. "You're the one who puts her to bed and goes to her when she wakes up in the middle of the night. You never leave her side for more than a few seconds and you're basically just always there. She doesn't have to worry about where you are." Kendall sat up again and smiled. "You know what this means?"

"What?"

"It means you need a break. Tomorrow I want you to go out and do whatever you want while I stay here and take care of Molly." Logan thought about it for a moment.

"Are you sure about this?" Kendall nodded vigorously. Logan sighed and thought it over for another moment before nodding in agreement. There were a few things that he hadn't had the chance to do in a while so he might as well get them done. Kendall smiled at Logan but turned his attention to the other room when they heard noise coming from it. Logan was starting to get out of bed but Kendall pushed him back down.

"Your break starts right now." Kendall got out of bed and walked to Molly's room. Logan lay back down and sighed. He was about to fall asleep when Kendall plopped back onto the bed waking him fully. He leaned over Logan with a mischievous smile making Logan blush. "I think you deserve a reward for working so hard lately. Kendall went to kiss Logan but Logan stopped him.

"Shouldn't I be getting plenty of sleep since I'll be out all day tomorrow?" Kendall thought about that for a moment then smirked.

"You can sleep in." He attached his lips to Logan's and started to slowly move his lips against his. Logan moaned and licked Kendall's bottom lip begging for entrance. As soon as Kendall opened his mouth Logan inserted his tongue and they began battling for dominance. Logan broke the kiss and started licking and sucking Kendall's jaw and neck. He wrapped his arms around Kendall and began to move his fingers up and down his back softly. Kendall let out a groan and started rubbing Logan's chest. He moved down to the hem of Logan's shirt and lifted his shirt up and over Logan's head. Logan grabbed Kendall's shirt and tugged on it until Kendall took it off. He went back to kissing Kendall's neck and started to move down to his chest. His breath caught in his throat when Kendall palmed his growing erection. Logan fell back against the bed and closed his eyes as he moaned.

"Kendall…" Kendall smirked and began sucking Logan's neck as he rubbed him though his sweatpants. Logan began to move his hips in a circular motion trying to get as much friction as he possibly could. After a while he realized he needed more. "More Kendall." Kendall smirked and pulled Logan's pants off. He sat up and slid down his own pants before settling himself between Logan's legs. Kendall rested on his elbows and ground his hips down in long deep thrusts. He buried his face in Logan's neck to suppress a loud groan as their erections rubbed together. As Kendall continued to grinded their hips together Logan reached into the nightstand and pulled out the lube. He almost dropped it when one of Kendall's thrusts rubbed all the right areas perfectly but Kendall quickly grabbed it.

"I love you Logan." Kendall pecked Logan on the lips and sat back as he poured lube on his fingers. He reached down to Logan's entrance teasing it before inserting his finger.

"I love you… too." Logan moaned when Kendall inserted a second finger. He moved his hips at a rapid pace fucking himself with Kendall's fingers. Kendall pulled out kissing away Logan's whine of protest and aligned himself with Logan's entrance. Kendall let out a groan as he entered Logan's tight entrance. When he was fully inside he waited a minute so Logan could get used to his size. When Logan began trusting against him Kendall attached his lips to Logan's and began to thrust hard and deep. Logan wrapped his legs around Kendall allowing him to thrust deeper. He broke the kiss and bit his lips to suppress his moans as Kendall began to pick up his pace. He latched onto Logan's hips and began to furiously pound into him. They were both panting and gasping as Kendall's thrusts became faster, stronger, and deeper. Kendall released his hold on Logan's hips and laced his fingers with Logan's. He pinned Logan's hands above their heads and ruthlessly fucked Logan into the bed.

"I'm gunna cum baby." Kendall's thrust became erratic and he was beginning to feel a pressure in his lower stomach. Logan simply moaned in reply not able to get any words out. After a few more thrusts Logan's entire body tensed and he buried his face in Kendall's neck as he came hard. His hips stuttered forcing Kendall deeper inside him. Kendall gave one more thrust before unloading into Logan with a long groan. His whole body shook and when his orgasm was over he collapsed onto Logan. Logan's body went limp once his orgasm subsided. His legs unlocked from around Kendall and laid limply to the side as they both tried to regain their breathing. When they both recovered Kendall smiled and kissed Logan deeply as he pulled out. He lay on his back and smiled when Logan rotated so he could lie against his chest. After a few silent moments they both fell asleep.

* * *

Logan's eyes opened and they immediately rested on the clock on the nightstand. It was already 11 so Logan decided he should get up. He walked over to his dresser and grabbed some clothes before walking into the bathroom. After he took a quick shower and got dressed he walked out into the living room to find James, Carlos, and Kendall watching TV with Molly on Kendall's lap. Kendall stood and picked up Molly walking over to Logan.

"So, what do you think you'll do today?" Logan thought about it for a moment then shrugged.

"I'm not sure. Maybe go to the bookstore or to the park and just relax or go to the mall." Kendall nodded and started pushing Logan towards the door.

"Ok, now do all those things."

"I don't even get to eat before I leave!"

"Eat out! Now go, I don't want to see you back here until later tonight. Enjoy your day off." Logan pouted and turned around.

"Can I at least get a goodbye kiss." Kendall rolled his eyes and kissed Logan sweetly. When they pulled apart Molly reached her arms out to get Logan's attention. Logan smiled and took her from Kendall.

"I'm going out but I'll be back later Molly. Can I get a kiss goodbye?" Molly kissed Logan's cheek making Logan smile. He hugged her and kissed her cheek before handing her over to Kendall. Kendall threw Logan his keys and playfully pushed him out the door. Kendall chuckled and looked at Molly who was staring at the door with a confused expression.

"What's the matter Molly?" She frowned and pointed to the door while using "baby talk." Kendall pet her head and smiled at her. "Papa while be back soon he's just going out for a little while."

* * *

Logan had only been out for four hours and he was already bored. He glanced at his phone for the hundredth time contemplating if he should go home. He had gone to the bookstore and gotten something to eat and even went to the park for a short time but he was starting to miss Molly.

"She's fine she's with Kendall." Logan had said that to himself a dozen times but he still wanted to go home. After another minute of deliberating Logan turned on his car and drove towards the Palm Woods. He had been sitting in the parking lot of the park for almost a half hour and he was tired of doing nothing. A few hours break was long enough he needed to be home with his family.

When he entered the apartment Kendall was in the kitchen getting Molly a drink. When he saw Logan walking in he sighed. "What are you doing home so early?" Logan smiled sheepishly.

"I ran out of stuff to do." Kendall sighed and placed Molly on the ground. She walked over to Logan and smiled up at him. Logan smiled and picked her up.

"I said I didn't want to see you until later tonight and it's only a little past 4. That's not much of a day off." Logan pouted and glanced at Molly who was still smiling at him.

"I missed being home so now that I am… why don't I give Molly a bath." Kendall sighed heavily and took Molly from Logan. He put her on the ground and turned Logan around to push him towards the door.

"You do way too much around here. You need the whole day off." Logan groaned then turned around to stop Kendall from pushing him.

"Alright, alright… geez." Kendall chuckled and kissed Logan softly. He walked over to Molly who was frowning and looking between Logan and the door. Logan walked over to her and kissed her forehead before walking back towards the door. Molly whimpered her lip quivering slightly. As Logan opened the door and began to walk out she cried out making everyone freeze.

"Papa!" Logan turned around slowly with wide eyes. James and Carlos who had been sitting on the couch walked over with wide eyes.

"Was that…" Kendall nodded at Logan. "She just said her first…" James and Carlos nodded as well. Molly was still frowning. To her it still looked like Logan was leaving so she reached out her arms and called out to him again.

"Papa!" Logan moved to Kendall and took Molly from him. He wiped her tears and rubbed her back soothingly.

"What's wrong? You don't want me to leave?" Molly shook her head and wrapped her arms around his neck. Logan moved to the door and closed it. Molly looked up at the noise and smiled. "I'm here. I'm not going anywhere." Molly laid her head against Logan's shoulder and closed her eyes. Logan looked at Kendall, James, and Carlos to see there were still amazed. Kendall smiled laughing slightly.

"She said her first word." Kendall smirked. "And what was her first word?" Logan rolled his eyes and chuckled.

"Papa."

"And you thought I was her favorite."

**A/N: DONE! I thought this was a cute idea. I thought of it because whenever my sister leaves my niece starts crying. She's at that clingy stage lol. Anyway I hope you enjoyed this chapter**

**There is more to come.**


	14. its all fun and games

**A/N: I think I just needed to say this. I have no problem with people using ideas from other stories or taking something and making it their own. If you get inspiration from something I write that's awesome but to take something I did and too copy it word for word is different. Not only does it make you look like you can't think of something on your own but it makes your story less enjoyable because I immediately recognize the words written and know what is going to happen next. I literally read two sentences of a story and knew something was off. I opened my story and read them side by side and the only differences were the names. Seriously if you're going to copy someone do a better job. By updating your story right after I update my story your making it easy for people to realize they are exactly the same because they are like right next to each other on the list of stories. If you're reading this you have great ideas and I like your first chapter and most of the second one but copying me word for word just ruined it for me. I'm sorry if I sound like a bitch but seriously I hope it doesn't happen again.**

**Anyway, sorry for that. On to the chapter!**

James, Kendall, Carlos, and Logan walked down the stairs exiting the stage area. They had just finished their concert and it had been amazing. They formed a circle at the bottom of the stairs and gave each other high fives and shoulder pats as they congratulated each other for a job well done.

"That was amazing!" James laughed and threw his fists up in the air in excitement. Kendall, Carlos, and Logan nodded in agreement. They could still hear the crowd cheering their names and chanting for them to come back on stage.

"It's too bad it's over. I was having so much fun." Carlos sighed and looked at the stage longingly. Kendall patted Carlos' shoulder and gave him a smile.

"You sound like this is the last concert we will ever do. There will be more."

"Of course there will more." The four boys turned to see Griffin walking over to them with Gustavo and Kelly trailing behind him. "I want to wish you boys a job well done." Griffin turned his attention to Kendall and Logan. "And you two, I hear you have a little girl who is having a birthday tomorrow. Having my own little girl I understand what that's like so I have a gift." Griffin reached his hand back and one of his assistance handed him an envelope. He handed it to Logan who opened it while Kendall, James, and Carlos watched from over his shoulder. When Logan unfolded the paper he smiled.

"Wow, this is great." Griffin nodded and left the four boys to do as they will. Carlos looked at the paper in confusion.

"What is it?"

"It's a petting zoo but it's for like celebrity kids so they have a lot more cool stuff then other petting zoos. It's expensive and exclusive. Kendall tried calling but we got turned down. Griffin got us in for tomorrow." Logan turned to Kendall. "This is way better then what we were going to do." Kendall nodded in agreement. With all their ideas falling through they had gone with a simple trip to the local zoo and a small dinner. Kendall smiled and wrapped his arm around Logan's waist. They left the stage area and greeted Mrs. Knight, Katie, and Molly by the limo. Logan took Molly and kissed her on the cheek making her giggle. Kendall joined them and pet Molly's head. Her dark hair had grown out and was not about shoulder length. It was mostly straight but curled at the bottom.

"Did you have fun Molly?" Kendall tickled her slightly making her laugh. After a few minutes of playing Molly yawned and rubbed her eyes with her hands. She laid her head against Logan's shoulder and closed her eyes. Logan smiled and kissed the top of her head. Everyone turned when they heard screaming in the distance.

"We better go if we don't want to get swarmed." Kendall, Carlos, and Logan nodded in agreement and climbed into the limo. Mrs. Knight and Katie had come in a different car with Gustavo and Kelly so they quickly made their way over to it. As the screaming got louder Molly whimpered in annoyance. The loud noise was preventing her from getting sleep. Carlos tapped on the plastic that separated them from the driver in order to get his attention.

"Hey can we get out of here now?" Instead of answering the driver simply turned on the car and began driving. Unfortunately for them they had to pass the pack of screaming fans so the noise increased. Logan covered one Molly's ear. He only needed to cover one because her head was turned to the side. He kissed the top of her head and rubbed her back as the noise reached its peak then began to die down. He uncovered her ear and readjusted her on his lap.

Kendall watched with a smile on his face as Logan sang softly to Molly. Kendall liked watching Logan sing to Molly and often times when Logan would put her to bed he would watch. Molly's eyes drifted shut and after a few seconds it was clear she was fast asleep. Logan gently kissed the top of her head then glanced over at Kendall. He blushed and smiled sheepishly knowing Kendall liked to watch him sing to her. When they reached the Palm Woods all of their friends greeted them to tell them how awesome they had done. Logan stepped away from the group afraid the loud talking would wake Molly. He turned around when someone taped him on the shoulder.

"You guys did great." Logan smiled at Camille and gave her a hug.

"Thanks." She turned her attention to the sleeping form in Logan's arms and smiled.

"She looks like you." Logan looked down at Molly and smiled.

"Really?" Camille nodded and rubbed Molly's back soothingly. "The plans for tomorrow changed. We're going to a petting zoo. Do you think you can still come?" Camille nodded and they said their goodbyes before Logan went to apartment 2J with James, Carlos, and Kendall. Once inside he went straight to Molly's room and put her to bed.

"I'm beat. Goodnight guys." Carlos walked to his and James room with James following right behind him. Kendall and Logan also decided to go to bed knowing they had a long day tomorrow. They plopped down on the bed and Logan barely climbed into Kendall's arms before he was knocked out.

* * *

Logan had set his alarm to go off early the next morning. He still had a lot to do now that the party plans had changed so drastically. As soon as he was up and ready he went out and bought picnic supplies and lots of food. From the petting zoos website he had found that there are private picnic areas that each have their own grill. With this in mind Logan bought hamburgers, hotdogs and other things that could be thrown on the grill. It would have seemed like he was going a little over board but Kendall and Logan had invited a lot of people from the Palm Woods. This included people they were friends with and people who had kids who were Molly's age or a little older.

When Logan bought everything he went straight home. Everyone in the apartment was already up and waiting for Logan to return. Once Logan set everything on the counter he felt his pants being tugged on.

"Papa." Logan smiled and lifted Molly off the ground. He kissed her cheek then swung her around playfully making her giggle.

"If I'm not mistaken you," Logan poked Molly's nose making her smile, "are one year old." Logan held up one finger and a second later Molly did the same.

"One." Logan smiled and held up his hand.

"Nice! High five." Molly giggled and swung her hand hitting Logan's. After she said her first word she had added a few more words to her vocabulary. Those words being Hi, bye, daddy, one, and no. Logan placed Molly on the ground and pointed towards the couch where James and Carlos were sitting. "Go sit with James and Carlos." She ran over passing Kendall as he walked towards Logan. Logan smiled and kissed him sweetly.

"Do you really think we're going to need all this food?" Logan started rearranging the groceries so the snacks, meats, drinks, and other foods were in their own separate bags together.

"It couldn't hurt, and considering Carlos eats for ten we might actually not have any food left over."

"I don't eat that much!" Kendall, James, and Logan gave Carlos a skeptical look making him pout. When Logan was done rearranging the bags he and Kendall started bringing them to the car. It only took them a few minutes and when they got back up after taking the last bag they found James, Carlos, Mrs. Knight and Katie were all sitting in the living room trying to contain their laughter. Molly was standing in front of the table and she was holding the phone to her ear. Kendall and Logan gave each other amused looks and walked over. Kendall gestured to the phone with a smile.

"Who is she talking to?" James snickered.

"Gustavo."

"Hi!"

"_Hi… again. Now please put James, who I can hear laughing! On the phone." _Molly seemed to contemplate that for a moment.

"No."

"_No! What do you mean no!"_ Carlos, James, and Kendall were dying of laughter. It appeared Gustavo had met his match. Logan chuckled and took the phone before Molly could cause Gustavo to blow a gasket.

"Gustavo?"

"Logan, it might be a good idea to have someone who can actually form sentences to answer the phone!" Logan cringed and threw James and Carlos a dirty look. It was obvious they did that on purpose even though Logan told them not to let Molly answer the phone.

"Sorry about that Gustavo… What's up?" Gustavo let out a sigh.

"What time do you want Kelly and I to be at the… thing?"

"1:00 o'clock is fine." Gustavo said a quick goodbye and hung up. Logan was surprised he was actually going but he was sure Kelly had something to do with that. Logan looked at the time and realized they had to leave. He picked Molly up while Kendall grabbed her bag and they made their way out the door.

* * *

It took them about an hour to get there and they were amazed by how big the place was. It definitely wasn't some back woods stink whole. It was state of the art and everything about it was made to please kids. There was a large entrance that had a stone path with large fish ponds on either side. They stopped before they went inside so Molly could look at all the fish. Logan and Kendall found the situation amusing because while Molly was on her hands and knees looking into the pond Carlos was right next to her doing to same. Mrs. Knight actually took a few pictures because she thought it was hilariously cute. Before Molly could get any ideas about jumping in they went into the zoo. It was separated into sections of domestic animals, farm animals, and exotic animals. Further into the zoo was a large playground area surrounded by the private picnic areas. They moved to their designated picnic area first, deciding they should wait for everyone to get there before any of them went off on their own. Camille, Jo, Gustavo, Kelly were already there waiting for them.

"Well aren't you the prettiest little girl I have ever seen." Camille took Molly from Logan and gave her a hug. She pointed to her hair with a smile. "Your hair is so pretty who did it for you?" Molly looked around for a moment then pointed at James. Camille shook her head smiling. "Why am I not surprised." Camille put Molly on the ground and she ran off. She was completely amazed by her surroundings and was trying to take it all in at once.

"Daddy!" Kendall walked over to Molly and knelt beside her. She was pointing at something on the ground and Kendall realized from closer inspection it was a frog.

"That's a frog." Molly bent down to touch it but it jumped away making her yell. Logan stopped what he was doing becoming alert but he relaxed again when Kendall waved saying there was nothing to worry about. Molly was now behind Kendall and watching the frog like it was going to attack her. Kendall chuckled and reached down picking it up.

"No daddy!" Kendall held his hand out for Molly to see but she pushed it away.

"It's just a frog it can't hurt you, see." Kendall held out his hand in front of her. She looked down at it for a moment then held out her hands allowing it to crawl into her hands. She watched it with amazement then smiled at Kendall. She quickly turned around then ran over to Logan who was turning on the grill while talking to Camille.

"Papa." Logan looked down as Molly held her hands out.

"Is that a frog?" Camille stepped back slightly making Logan laugh at her. He bent down and whispered something to her. Molly nodded and started walking towards Camille with the frog. She gasped and stepped back. "Logan I hate you!" Logan started laughing harder.

"Molly Camille loves frogs! Give her, her present!" Camille stepped back more but then a thought accord to her. She bent down to Molly's level making a face at the frog in her hands.

"You know who loves frogs more?" Camille whispered something in her ear and Molly looked around before walking off again. She made her way over to James who was flirting with some girls from the Palm Woods. Molly placed the frog on his lap and walked back over to Camille and Logan. It took about a minute but once James noticed the frog her let out a girlish scream and jumped up. Camille gave Molly a high five making her giggle.

After an hour of socializing and eating everyone decided to check out the rest of the zoo. Kendall and Logan mostly watched while Molly ran around with James and Carlos. Kendall wrapped his arm around Logan's waist and pulled him close. He went to kiss Logan but stopped to laugh as Carlos was head butted by a goat.

"Carlos may not always make the best decisions but he defiantly knows how to make a kid laugh." Logan nodded as he watched Carlos run away from the goat. Molly was watching laughing her head off finding the whole situation hilarious. Logan turned and wrapped his arms around Kendall's neck.

"And James may not make the best decisions but he definitely knows how to dress and pamper a kid." Kendall Kissed Logan softly and pulled back with a smile.

"She's going to have a perfect life with so many people who care about her." Logan nodded. Logan thought about that fact everyday and it always made him feel better. Even if she didn't have James, Carlos, Mrs. Knight, Katie, and Camille in her life Logan would have done anything to make sure she was happy. He didn't want her life to be like his, full of misery and pain. When Kendall kissed Logan deeply again Logan reminded himself that his life wasn't like that anymore. That was his past and he moved on from that. There were still people he would never forget but there were also people he needed to forget. Kendall and Logan both turned when they heard a gasp. Molly had fallen backwards onto the ground after a sheep pushed her over. James had managed to stop her from getting hurt but the back of her pants and shirt were covered with dirt. Logan and Kendall walked over and before they could get a word in James started talking at a rapid pace.

"I'm sorry guys I turned for a second and the thing just knocked her over she's not hurt but..."

"James!" Logan chuckled at James' expression. "Its fine I brought some extra clothes for her because I figured she would get dirty. Don't worry about it." James sighed and relaxed. Logan may have been calm but that was only because she hadn't gotten hurt. If she did all hell would have broken loose. Logan picked Molly up and walked back over to the picnic area. James, Carlos, and Kendall decided to move over to the next section of the zoo so Logan was going to meet them there. When Logan got back he smiled at Camille, Jo, Mrs. Knight and Kelly who were sitting at a picnic table and talking.

"What happened to Molly's clothes?" Mrs. Knight asked with furrowed eyebrows.

"She fell over but she's fine." Mrs. Knight nodded and went back to talking to Camille, Jo, and Kelly. Logan walked over to a tree where they had placed their stuff and put Molly on the ground so he could take out the extra clothes. Logan quickly changed Molly into a clean outfit before turning back to his bag to fold the dirty clothes and put them in. "Now I want you to be careful o…" Logan turned back around and frowned when no one was there. He stood up and looked around but still didn't see her. "Molly?" Logan walked around the tree and began to panic when Molly was nowhere to be found.

"Molly?"

**A/N: DONE! It's been a while since I ended with a cliffy so here u go. I hope you enjoyed this chapter. **

**There is more to come.**


	15. searching

**A/N: If you read my authors note from the previous chapter I'm happy to report that it was a misunderstanding and the situation was resolved. If you knew what story I was talking about you should definitely read it. They took down that chapter but reposted it. Anyway, on to the chapter!**

"Attention guests, an Amber Alert has been put into effect. Please remain calm. For the time being everyone must remain in the vicinity."

Everyone stopped what they were doing and looked around confused. None of them have ever been in this type of situation but they definitely heard stories all the time. Mothers seemed to grip their children closely reassuring themselves that they knew where their child was. Kendall however didn't have that luxury. He swallowed hard having a bad feeling in the pit of his stomach.

"I have to find Logan." Kendall was about to start running but James stopped him.

"Kendall calm down I'm sure it's not…"

"Will Kendall Knight please report to the security desk." James and Kendall shared a look of horror. Carlos was watching looking around as their names were called over the loud speaker. Without a word they all broke into a sprint. People watched them run by with knowing sympathetic looks. It took them a little while to get to the security desk considering they didn't know where it was but once they got there most of their friends and family where there. Mrs. Knight was talking to the head of security. Her mouth was moving a mile a minute and she frantically ran her fingers through her hair. Katie was standing next to her mom biting her lip nervously but she was glancing behind her. Kendall followed her line of vision until he landed on a bench off to the side. Logan was sitting on a bench with his head in his hands while Camille and Jo sat on either side of him. He was mumbling between sobs but Kendall couldn't hear him. As he started slowly making his way over Katie stepped in front of him.

"Katie, what's going on?" Katie swallowed and glanced towards Logan.

"Please don't yell at him Kendall. He isn't Carlos or James he can't bounce back like they can." James and Carlos glanced at each other not sure what to make of what Katie was saying. They both swallowed hard and continued to walk with Kendall to Logan. As the three boys made their way over Logan's words became clear.

"I didn't mean to! I only looked away for a second! I tried but I could find her! It doesn't make any sense! I didn't… Kendall's going to hate me!"

"Logan?" Logan stiffened and slowly glanced up. More tears seemed to stream down his face and he recoiled slightly. Kendall knelt down in front of him and placed his hands on his knees. He frowned when Logan flinched. "I'm not going to yell at you. Tell me what happened." Logan swallowed and glanced up at James and Carlos.

"I-I brought her back to our stuff and I changed her clothes and I looked away for a second to put her clothes away and when I turned back…" Logan let out a sob and covered his face with his hands. "I looked everywhere b-but I couldn't find her!" Kendall pulled Logan's hands away from his face then cupped his face.

"Logan listen to me." Kendall waited until Logan was looking at him to continue. "I promise you we will find her." Logan nodded and bit his lip to suppress a sob.

"I'm so sorry Kendall… this is all my fault."

"Logan I'm not going to lie, you made a mistake but everyone makes mistakes. It could be me in your position right now but we can't think about that. Let's just focus on finding Molly." Logan nodded and wiped his eyes before standing up. They walked over to where Mrs. Knight was talking to the head of security. He turned to them and let out a breath.

"The rest of security has just arrived and we're going to search the area. We need you all to stay here and…"

"What! No… NO I'm not going to sit here and do nothing!" Everyone but Kendall, James, and Carlos were shocked by Logan's outburst. When James said all hell would break loose if something happened he meant it. The security guard stared at Logan for a moment then let out a sigh. He nodded and reached behind him grabbing four walky-talkies. He gave one to each of the four boys and told them what to do if they found anything. After a few minutes the security staff and James, Carlos, Kendall, and Logan began to search. James, Carlos, Kendall, and Logan decided to stay together and start where Logan had last seen Molly. They made their way over to the tree and looked around for any sign of her.

"Molly!" Carlos walked past the tree and headed towards the other end of the picnic area. He cupped his hands in front of his mouth and yelled Molly's name. James climbed up about halfway up the tree and blocked the sun with his hand as he scanned the area. He frowned when he didn't see anything.

"Molly!" Logan went over to the playground that was a couple yards away and looked into every small place he could think she could be. When he ran out of holes and crawl spaces Logan stood up straight and ran his fingers through his hair. He bent forward and leaned his hands on his knees like he had just run a marathon. He took in a deep stuttering breath trying to keep himself calm. Freaking out wasn't going to help anyone. Logan stood up straight and began to look around again. There was another playground on the opposite side of a dirt path so he headed towards there.

Kendall watched Logan for a moment as he walked towards a playground. His eyes darted from the ground to straight ahead and every now and then he would lift his hand to wipe his nose. Kendall let out a sigh and went back to looking around. He was staring at the ground as he walked around. He stopped every now and then, let out a sigh then moved on. He didn't want to scare Logan but he was looking for tire tracks. There was a small service road that wrapped around the whole park and it so happened to be a few feet away from where Logan last saw Molly. Kendall didn't even want to think about someone taking Molly but it was a possibility and he didn't want to worry Logan with that. Unfortunately for Kendall Logan already was thinking that. He was all too familiar with the statistics for child abduction and it really scared him. 99% of abducted children die within the first 24 hours, 75% within the first 3 hours, and 44% within the first hour. Logan glanced at his watch and bit his lip as tears came to his eyes. It had been 2 hours and thirty minutes since Molly went missing. That meant that if she was abducted there was only a 25% chance that she would still be alive in thirty minutes. Logan picked up his pace and was now searching frantically. When he came to the end of the playground there was a grassy area that ran flat then dropped down and became the bank of a river below. It seemed strange for a river with a steep river bank to be right outside of a playground for children but Logan wasn't going to worry about that right now. He searched near the edge of the top of the hill stopping suddenly when he heard a crunch. He furrowed his eyebrows and moved his foot from whatever he stepped on. He knelt down and picked up the object. After examining it for a moment his eyes went wide. Molly had a purple poke-a-dot clip on bow in her hair. It was large and had a small black strip on one side. Logan was now holding that bow in his hand. Logan stood up and looked around. He raised the walky-talky to his mouth with a shaking hand and pressed the button.

"I found something!" It only took a matter of minutes for everyone to be surrounding the bank of the river. Kendall, James, Carlos, and Logan stood at the top of the bank watching the security and the police officers that had arrived searching. Logan glanced at his watch and bit his lip. It had now been 3 hours and 30 minutes. Kendall grabbed Logan's wrist covering his watch. Logan looked up at him with sad eyes.

"Don't do that. I know what you're thinking; I've watched enough crime shows with you to know what you're doing. She's not a statistic don't assume there isn't any hope left." Logan looked down in shame. What kind of parent was he? First he let his daughter slip away then he was assuming the worst. He didn't deserve to be a farther? He was nothing like his dad. Logan vision blurred as more tears fell from his eyes freely. He bit his lip hard in order to keep the sobs in.

"I-I'm s-s-sorry." Kendall pulled Logan into a tight hug. He rubbed his back soothingly and whispered in his ear to stop blaming himself every time he tried.

"Kendall, Logan." They broke apart when they heard Carlos calling their names. He pointed at a group of police officers standing about 20 feet away. They were pointing down towards the river and they all had stressed looks on their faces. Logan broke away from Kendall and walked over to the group. Kendall tried to pull him back but he kept walking. When he reached the group he heard the one thing he didn't want to here.

"We think it's a body." Logan gasped making the officers look at him.

"What did you find?" The officers looked at each other before one spoke up.

"We're not sure…"

"But you just said you found a…" Logan swallowed hard and glanced passed the officers. Against his better judgment he stepped forward and peered over the edge before anyone could stop him. He paled at what he saw at the bottom. A small form wrapped in a trash bag. The only thing visible was brown hair.

**A/N: WHAT! Well you're going to have to wait to see what happens next. this was pretty short but I wanted to end it there.**

**There is more to come.**


	16. help from an unexpected source

Logan backed up covering his mouth to prevent himself from puking all over the place. He didn't want to believe it. It couldn't be possible. His heart was telling him that it wasn't true but his eyes could see the evidence right in front of him. It was a body, but that didn't mean it was Molly. Logan backed up right into someone. They turned him around and Logan was staring up at Kendall. Kendall's eyes were pleading. Logan let out a sob and wrapped his arms around Kendall's torso. He buried his face in Kendall's chest and continued to cry uncontrollably. Kendall glanced up when he noticed a police officer was making his way down the bank. He needed to know for himself. Kendall took a breath and stepped forward until he was able to see down. His breath caught in his throat when he saw what was at the bottom. Logan turned his head holding his breath as the officer inched closer and closer. He knelt in front of the bag and reached out to lift it slightly. No one said a word and it didn't even seem like anyone was breathing. The only noises heard were the sounds of Logan's sobs. He lifted the bag up and peered inside. The officer released his hold and let out a sigh. He stood up and turned to the rest of the group.

"It's a ground hog." Everyone let out a sigh of relief. It was short lived though because they then realized they still didn't know where Molly was. Kendall squeezed Logan and whispered reassuring words to him. He was trembling and griping on to Kendall like he was the only thing keeping him sane and Logan definitely believed that was true. After everyone recovered they began searching again. It was quickly becoming night making Logan and Kendall more worried.

"Carlos?" Carlos stopped walking when he heard a small timid voice calling his name. He turned around to find Logan standing a few feet behind him. Carlos heart ached at the sight of Logan. He was hugging himself and had his eyes fixed on the ground. He looked so small.

"What is it Logan?" Logan stayed silent for a moment looking everywhere but at Carlos.

"Can you… do me a favor?" When Carlos didn't say anything Logan took that as a signal to continue. "Can you get Molly's jacket. It's just… she's probably so cold and if we find her…" Carlos put his hand over Logan's mouth and gave him a determined look.

"I'll get it Logan because _**when**_ we find her she'll need it. Carlos could feel Logan's lip quivering under his hand and a few tears strayed from Logan's eyes and rolled over Carlos' hand. Carlos pulled his hand away and pulled Logan into a quick hug. He gave him a reassuring look before jogging off.

The group had followed the river so far they were now in dense woods outside of the zoo. James glanced back noticing that Logan was lagging behind. He looked so exhausted but it wasn't just that. The guilt was weighing down on him hard and the longer they searched the more horrible Logan felt. Logan felt like such a failure. The more they searched the more hateful words floated through his head; disappointment, plague, curse, brainless, hypocrite, killer. Everything was his fault. His mother died… and it was his fault. His father died… and it was his fault. Everything was always his fault. Logan had been so deep in thought he walked straight into something. He cursed to himself as he rubbed his nose. When his nose wasn't throbbing anymore Logan looked up to see James staring at him. He immediately looked down not wanting to see the hate. Everyone despised him. It was obvious. James didn't say anything but simply pulled Logan into a tight hug. Logan tensed at first but he eventually relaxed into a sobbing mess.

"Why does this always happen? Why do I always hurt people? Why do I always have to mess up? What is wrong with me James?" James pulled away from Logan and gripped his shoulders tightly.

"Listen to me Logan. There is nothing wrong with you. You're not some disease that destroys everything you touch. You're a person who has gone through a lot of crap that wasn't your fault. Like Kendall said before this could have happened to anyone and if it wasn't you it would have been me, Kendall, or Carlos." Logan sighed and nodded. He didn't really agree with James but he had more important things to do at the moment. James joined the others while Logan allowed himself to fall behind again. He was walking slowly while glancing down at the river below. It wasn't deep or wide. It was actually more like a stream that could be easily crossed. Logan stopped and glanced at the other side. The whole time they had stayed on one side of the river. It would probably be a good idea to check the other side. Logan shook his head at this. The bank was steep and the water wasn't deep for himself but it was at least chest deep for Molly. She wouldn't cross it. Logan was standing at the edge on the very top of the bank. He was so deep in thought he didn't notice the ground shifting. Logan gasped when he lost his footing and fell forward. When he hit the bottom he just laid there for a moment groaning in pain. He opened his eyes and closed them again when he realized everything was spinning.

"Logan." Logan opened his eyes again and tried to rub away the dizziness. He sat up and looked around. When it clicked that someone was still calling his name he furrowed his eyebrows when he realized it wasn't James or Kendall or Carlos. Logan stood up stumbling slightly. When he heard his name again he climbed up the opposite bank and started walking forward. As his head became clearer the voice became more familiar. When it finally clicked he picked up the pace not really caring if he knew it wasn't possible or not. He walked through a few more trees then came to an opening to a cave. He stared for a moment the rubbed his eyes in order to get rid of the allusion. When it was still there he couldn't help but smile.

"I obviously hit my head but it's still nice to see you… dad." A wind blew by making a chill go up Logan's spin. His father smiled warmly at him before he was gone along with the breeze. It was silent again. Logan sighed and went to turn around but he froze when he heard something else. He turned again and made his way over to the mouth of the cave. The walls of the cave allowed all sounds to bounce off of it including the sounds of small sobs. Logan squinted so he could see inside and almost fainted in relief when he could make out the small form. All common sense to use the walky-talky gone Logan turned around and shouted.

"KENDALL! I FOUND HER!"

* * *

Kendall glanced at James when he walked up next to him. They stayed silent continuing to walk but stopped when they heard something coming up quickly behind them. Carlos came into view holding a small green jacket. He looked around with furrowed eyebrows before settling on Kendall and James.

"Where's Logan?"

"He's right…" James glanced back finally noticing Logan wasn't where he had last seen him. Kendall walked past Carlos then looked around but still couldn't see Logan.

"Logan… Logan!" Kendall cursed to himself and ran his fingers threw his hair. Everything was becoming too much. James and Carlos walked to Kendall's side and were ready to calm him down but they froze when they heard a voice.

"KENDALL I FOUND HER!" Kendall took off sprinting in the direction of Logan's voice. He ran down the bank almost falling then scrambled up the other side. He could hear voices shouting behind him but didn't pay much attention. He ran through the trees and ended up at a cave. Logan had dropped to his knees at the mouth of the cave. Kendall ran up to him and dropped to his knees. Logan had taken off his jacket and wrapped it around Molly. Kendall sighed with relief. She was awake and obviously happy to see Logan and Kendall. Logan was holding onto her tightly sobbing loudly. The relief he felt was unexplainable. He hadn't even noticed Kendall until he wrapped his arms around himself and Molly. When Kendall could hear the rest of the group catching up he pulled away and helped Logan up. Kendall took Molly from Logan and tightly hugged her and kissed her forehead before handing her back to Logan. James and Carlos let out sighs of relief when they spotted Logan and Kendall walking over with Molly. The whole group seemed to pick up its pace as they walked back towards the petting zoo.

It took them about 20 minutes to get back and when they walked to the security desk Mrs. Knight, Katie, Camille, Jo, Kelly, and Gustavo were waiting for them. An ambulance was also there in case Molly needed medical attention. When Logan walked in everyone converged on them. They were so happy to see Molly was safe. She had her arms wrapped tightly around Logan's neck so it was difficult for anyone to get a good look at her to make sure she wasn't hurt. When an EMT walked over to the group they dispersed allowing Kendall and Logan to go with them. They walked outside and sat at the back of the ambulance as the EMT looked over Molly. Logan had her seated in his lap and was holding tightly onto her. Kendall was rubbing her back and petting her head soothingly. When the EMT was done she smiled at Kendall and Logan.

"She's ok; she just needs to get some food and water." They nodded and Logan immediately pulled Molly close again. Tears streamed down Logan's face as he brushed Molly's hair out of her face.

"Everything's ok, you're safe now." Logan paused and looked down. He let out a sob then kissed Molly's forehead. "I'm so sorry. I promise I will never let you out of my sight again." Kendall leaned closer to Logan and wrapped his arm around his waist. He kissed the side of Logan's head then kissed Molly's cheek. Molly reached out towards Kendall and Kendall took her hand in his. He kissed it and let out another sigh of relief and finally allowed a few tears to fall. Molly furrowed her eyebrows and looked between Kendall and Logan. She leaned back and touched Logan's face.

"No papa." Logan sniffed and smiled.

"I'm not sad Molly… we're not sad. Logan Passed Molly to Kendall so he could wipe his eyes. They got out from the back of the ambulance and walked back over to their friends and family. Kelly, Gustavo, Camille and Jo stayed for a little while to make sure everything was ok again. Soon after they left James, Carlos, Kendall, Logan, Mrs. Knight, and Katie left as well. Kendall and Logan sat in the back seat cuddling together with Molly between them. It was hard to believe how resilient she was. She was laughing and smiling again like nothing had happened. Kendall and Logan were still very shaken but tried not to let that show. When they got back to the Palm Woods Molly was sound asleep in Kendall's arms. Kendall brought her to her room and put her to bed before going back out to the living room were James, Carlos, and Logan were.

"How are you two doing?" Carlos looked between Kendall and Logan waiting for an answer. Logan sighed and ran his fingers through his hair.

"I'll be fine… I just need some rest." Logan walked to his and Kendall's room and shut the door. James and Carlos looked at each other and sighed.

"He feels so guilty." Kendall and Carlos nodded. They stayed silent for a moment until James spoke up again. "How are you doing?" Kendall sighed.

"I'm doing fine. I'm just happy she's safe." Carlos and James nodded in agreement. They said quick goodnights to each other before going to their rooms to sleep. When Kendall entered his room he furrowed his eyebrows when he didn't find Logan in there. He walked over to the door that connected their room to Molly's room smiling when he looked inside. Logan was curled up on the floor resting his head on a pillow. He was obviously a lot more tired than Kendall realized since he was already asleep. Kendall walked over to him and knelt beside him. He shook Logan's shoulder trying to wake him. "Logan." Logan turned onto his back and opened his eyes. He turned his gaze away from Kendall and stared at Molly's sleeping form. "Logan she's ok. You don't need to be in here." Logan sighed and finally looked up at Kendall.

"I don't want to be away from her. I messed up bad Kendall; I can't fail her ever again." Kendall sighed and stroked Logan's face.

"You didn't fail her. If it wasn't for you who knows how long it would have taken us to find her. You found her Logan that was all you. You didn't fail her… not one bit."

"Are you sure?" Kendall nodded. Logan bit his lip and spoke again softly.

"Did I fail you?" Logan studied Kendall's face wondering if he should try and run now. When Kendall still remained silent Logan turned his head so Kendall couldn't see his tears. "I'm sorry." Kendall turned Logan's face back towards him.

"Logan you didn't fail me. You didn't fail anyone please believe me."

"Are you sure?" Kendall smiled and leaned down kissing Logan softly.

"Yes." Logan smiled then looked away from Kendall. "Something else is bothering you." Logan sighed and turned back towards Kendall.

"If I told you something that sounded crazy and impossible would you believe me?" Kendall furrowed his eyebrows.

"Depends… what's so crazy and impossible?"

"I didn't find Molly on my own. When I was looking down at the stream I slipped." Kendall gasped.

"Did you get hurt? Are you ok?" Logan put his hand up to stop Kendall.

"I'm fine. Anyway, I started hearing someone call my name. I followed the voice and when I got to the cave I saw…"

"You saw…"

"I saw my dad." Kendall furrowed his eyebrows. He had to admit that did seem a little crazy.

"Are you sure?" Logan nodded a small smile coming to his face.

"The first thing I thought was that I hit my head or something but… it was still nice to see him. I miss him." Kendall nodded smiling sadly. "After a second he disappeared and that's when I found Molly." Logan looked towards Molly's sleeping form. It was nice to see her sleeping peacefully. It made him feel better knowing she was safe. Logan turned back to Kendall and took in a breath. "Do you think maybe… it was him? Maybe he was… trying to help us?" Kendall thought about it for a moment then nodded.

"Your dad loved you so much Logan. He would do anything for you so it makes sense that he would help you." Logan nodded.

"Do you think… he's still proud of me?" Kendall pulled Logan into a sitting position and looked him straight in the eyes.

"It doesn't matter if you make mistakes Logan. Your dad will always be proud of you. You know, you're just like him." Logan couldn't help the smile that came to his face.

"Really?" Kendall nodded and kissed Logan deeply.

"Why don't we go to bed now?" Logan glanced back at Molly and swallowed. He gave Kendall a pleading look making him sigh. "I'll go get some blankets." Logan smiled and pulled Kendall into another deep kiss. They both got up and set up blankets and pillows on the floor. Logan cuddled into Kendall's side and let out a breath as he fell asleep. Kendall smiled and kissed the top of Logan's head before lying back to go to sleep.

**A/N: I could never kill Molly! She's just too cute! I actually thought of the part with Logan's dad while I was eating lunch. I don't know how I thought of it. It just came to me. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this chapter**

**There is more to come.**


	17. anniversary

"Last time I checked it doesn't take twenty minutes to brush your teeth." Logan stopped brushing and looked at Kendall.

"I donno wah yo tolkin abou." Kendall rolled his eyes and took Logan toothbrush out of his mouth.

"You, mister, are stalling." Logan pouted making Kendall laugh at him. He rinsed his mouth and left the bathroom still holding the pout on his face. Kendall turned Logan around and wrapped his arms around Logan's waist. "What are you so worried about?" Logan sighed and wrapped his arms around Kendall's neck.

"We're not going to be back until tomorrow morning. That's the longest I've ever been away from her. I'm going to miss her." Kendall pulled Logan into a deep kiss then leaned his forehead against Logan's.

"Don't you want to celebrate our anniversary?" Logan nodded. "And Logan, you can't be with her 24/7 forever. She's already way too attached. She needs some space from us so she can be more independent and form relationships with other people." Logan huffed and pouted.

"I know… but she's only two… we still have time." Kendall chuckled and pulled Logan out of their room.

"The earlier the better." When they entered the living room Molly ran up to them and was jumping up and down.

"Daddy, papa can I have a lolli. Pwease!" Logan glanced at his watch.

"Molly its only 10 o'clock." Logan bent down to her level and stopped her from bouncing. "Didn't I say you couldn't have any lolli's until after lunch?" Molly pouted and nodded her head. Kendall knelt down next to Logan and gave Molly a bright smile.

"Tell you what; you can have an orange juice pop (1)." Molly smiled and ran to the kitchen were Mrs. Knight was. She handed Molly a juice pop and helped her onto a chair so she could sit and eat.

"Shouldn't you two be leaving soon?" James stood in front of Kendall and Logan with his arms crossed. Kendall gave Logan a look making him smile sheepishly. "You guys can trust me and Carlos, we've babysat before." Logan sighed and stood up.

"I know James I do trust you. I'm just going to miss her that's all." James nodded in understanding. He patted Logan on the shoulder reassuringly then glanced at the clock.

"You two better get going." Logan and Kendall nodded and walked over to Molly in the kitchen. They both gave her a hug and a kiss goodbye and promised they would be back soon. Logan gave James a list of numbers and emergency contacts making him roll his eyes. James playfully pushed Logan and Kendall out the door while telling them not to get into any trouble.

"Well I better get going too." Mrs. Knight grabbed her overnight bag and called for Katie. They were going back to Minnesota for the weekend. A few minutes after they left Carlos walked out of the bathroom. He looked around then smiled.

"I see all the parental figures have finally left the building." James chuckled and nodded. He looked down when he felt tugging on his jeans.

"Jamie, where did my daddy and papa go?" James knelt down to Molly's level and gave her his famous smile. She giggled and blushed slightly.

"Well today's their anniversary so they went out to celebrate." Molly blinked and tilted her head to the side.

"What's that?" James thought for a moment trying to think of the best way to explain what an anniversary was. Carlos moved next to Molly and lifted her up.

"Well, you know how much they love each other right?" Molly nodded. "An anniversary is them celebrating the day they told each other how much they love each other." Carlos smiled and placed Molly back on the floor when she nodded in understanding. She ran over to the couch and sat down to watch TV. James chuckled and turned to Carlos.

"That was pretty good." Carlos shrugged and smiled.

"What can I say; I'm good at making things simple to understand." James chuckled and shook his head. They both moved over to the couch to watch TV with Molly. Babysitting was simple, they wouldn't have any problems.

* * *

"I thought you booked a hotel?" Logan gave Kendall a questioning look as he was pulled him in to the pool area. He became more confused when he saw a sign on the doors that read,

_The Palm Woods Pool is closed until 12._

Kendall just smiled at Logan and led him over to a table that was set up with fancy foods and drinks.

"I did but I thought we could have a small brunch first." Kendall sat Logan down at the table then turned his chair sideways. Kendall knelt in front of Logan and smiled. "Logan, do you remember sitting in this very spot when we were 16 years old? It was the first time I told you how much I liked you." Logan smiled brightly and nodded his head.

"How could I forget?"

(Flashback)

The pool was empty considering how late it was so Kendall picked a random table and sat down. Logan sat down slowly watching Kendall carefully. He wasn't sure what was going on but under Kendall's confidence seemed to be a tint of nervousness. "Logan, I wanted to tell you something that I figured out pretty recently." Kendall swallowed continuing to look anywhere but at Logan. "I was talking to James and he was asking me why I was so protective of you." Logan's heart skipped a beat when Kendall mentioned James. James had obviously gone through with trying to set Logan up with Kendall but did it work?

"Why are you protective of me Kendall?" Kendall sighed and looked right into Logan's eyes. He grasped Logan's brace less hand before continuing.

"I never really thought about it before and at first I just thought it was because I see myself as the leader and I need to protect you. But I don't get as protective with Carlos and James and then I thought maybe it was because they can protect themselves better." Kendall smiled shyly at Logan. "No offence." Logan shook his head and smirked slightly.

"None taken."

"Well anyway, after I figured out that was wrong I finally decided that it was because I cared for you more than James and Carlos. I see them as my brothers but I see you differently than that." Kendall swallowed and squeezed Logan's hand. "I really, really like you Logan and I just wanted you to know." Kendall looked away before continuing. "And I know you probably don't want a relationship because of what happened and I know you might not even like me like that but I just wanted to tell y-" Kendall was interrupted by Logan pressing his lips to Kendall's. Kendall sighed and smiled into the kiss as he wrapped his arms around Logan's waist. Logan wrapped his arms around Kendall's neck moaning as the kiss deepened. They moved their lips together like they had done it a million times. Logan never felt anything like this with anyone else and he knew that this was right. They eventually pulled away and just stared into each other's eyes.

"I really, really like you too Kendall." Kendall smiled and pecked Logan on the lips on more time.

(End flashback)

Logan chuckled. "That's when you told me you really, really liked me." Kendall smiled and stood up pulling Logan up with you.

"Well now 7 years later we are standing in that very same spot and I'm telling you that I love you." Logan cupped Kendall's face and pulled him into a soft kiss, the smile never leaving his face. When they pulled back Logan let out a content sigh.

"I love you too." Kendall smiled and kissed Logan once more before they both sat down to eat.

* * *

"No, no, no! Don't do that! Don't do that!" Molly was laughing as she ran away from Carlos. She had James' man spray and was filling the whole apartment with its mist. "James! Will you help me?" James peeked out of the bathroom and huffed.

"I'm still trying to fish my lucky comb out of the toilet!" Carlos huffed and finally caught up to Molly and took the can of spray from her. She blinked a couple of times then sat on the ground and started crying. Carlos picked her up and bounced her up and down.

"Don't cry, don't cry." Carlos looked around then grabbed James' cell phone off the counter. "Here! Play with this." Molly instantly stopped crying and looked at the cell phone in wonder. She smiled and started pressing the buttons loving the noises it made. Carlos sighed with relief and moved over to the couch and sat down with Molly. James came out of the bathroom and shrieked.

"Why does she have my phone?" Carlos laughed nervously.

"I needed something to make her stop crying. Don't worry she won't break it." James sighed and sat down next to Carlos. He watched Molly cautiously as she continued to play with his phone. After a few minutes she seemed to get bored with it and gave it back to Carlos. She slipped off his lap and ran to her room. James and Carlos looked at each other before scrambling to follow her. When they got to her room she was climbing onto a stool so she could grab a book from her book shelf. Once she had a book she jumped down and ran back over to James and Carlos.

"Can you read me a story?" James smiled at Molly and picked her up. He brought her back out to the living room with Carlos walking right behind them.

"I'll go make us lunch." James nodded at Carlos and moved to the couch with Molly while Carlos moved to the kitchen. He took ham and bread out for himself and James while taking out a pack of kids Mac and cheese for Molly. He put everything together smiling as he listened to James read to Molly with enthusiasm. _"I think Molly has a tiny crush on James."_ Carlos chuckled at the thought making a mental note to tell Kendall and Logan. Carlos became so focused on listening he didn't notice his elbow hitting a plate making it fall to the floor and smash into pieces. "Fuck!" James gasped and covered Molly's ears.

"Carlos! Tiny ears present!" Carlos made a face and mouthed an apology. James just sighed and shook his head at Carlos. Molly didn't even take notice to Carlos' slip up. Carlos quickly cleaned up taking extra care to make sure there wasn't any glass on the floor. The last thing he wanted was Molly to step on it. When he was finished he took the food out to the living room and sat with Molly between himself and James.

* * *

"It's beautiful." Logan walked down the wooden stairs stopping as he landed in the sand. He gazed at the sunset only closing his eyes when a cool refreshing breeze danced over his face. He opened his eyes and glanced next to him when he felt pressure on his hand. Kendall laced their fingers and smiled at Logan. He couldn't believe how beautiful he looked with the warm light on Logan's face. They walked down the beach stopping just before the water. They separated their hands for a moment to shed of their shirts. Going to the beach had actually been a last minute decision so they didn't have their swim suits. They both thought the day would be more fun if they acted more spontaneous. When they were down to nothing but their jeans Logan walked over to Kendall and wrapped his arms around his neck. Kendall smiled and reached his hand up to stroke Logan's face.

"Kiss me." Logan smiled and leaned forward. Their lips were inches from touching when Logan pulled away.

"Oooo rejection!" Logan laughed when Kendall pouted and crossed his arms across his chest. "If you want a kiss you need to catch me first." Kendall smirked and jumped at Logan. They both ran towards the water allowing it to splash everywhere as they ran. When Kendall finally reached Logan he wrapped his hands around his hips and lifted him up. He turned around and jumped back allowing them to fall fully into the water. When they surfaced Logan was too busy wiping the water out of his eyes to notice Kendall lean forward and attach their lips together. Logan lowered his hands from his eyes and moved his lips against Kendall's. They were forced to break apart when a wave crashed over both of them. When they finally broke the surface they were laughing hysterically. They walked out of the water and plopped down onto the sand next to each other.

"I love you." Logan sat up and straddled Kendall's waist. He bent forward and attached their lips again. When they pulled apart Logan leaned his head on Kendall's shoulder.

"I love you too." Logan climbed off Kendall and reached his hand out to help him up. "Let's get going." After Kendall was up they walked off the beach and back to their car.

* * *

Carlos yawned as he leaned back against the couch. It had been a long day and he was beat.

"So, now what do we do?" Carlos thought for a moment and shrugged. They had put Molly to bed at least 20 minutes ago and didn't have anything to do. James sighed and whipped out his comb and mirror. If he was just going to sit doing nothing he might as well make himself look awesome. Carlos chuckled at his friend and turned when he saw something out of the corner of his eye. Molly was peeking into the living room from her room. She was watching them while frowning. Carlos got up and walked over to her. His sudden movements made James alert to her presence making him walk over as well. Carlos knelt in front of her once he was at the entrance to her room.

"What's wrong?" She sniffed and glanced back at her room.

"Daddy not here to make the monsters go away." Carlos gave Molly a sad smile and lifted her up. He turned on the light in her room and walked back over to her bed.

"It's ok because James and I are here to do it for you. Your daddy, James and I had a word with those mean monster and we made sure they wouldn't bother you." Carlos placed Molly back in her bed and leaned forward to whisper to her. "It was easy for James to scare them because he's so freakishly tall."

"Hey!" James pouted making Molly giggle. Carlos tucked her in and kissed her forehead before wishing her goodnight. When Carlos stepped back James stepped forward and kissed her forehead as well. "Goodnight princess." Molly smiled and blushed slightly as her eyes drifted shut. When it was clear she was asleep James and Carlos silently exited.

"I think Molly has a crush on you." James chuckled.

"I don't think Kendall and Logan will like that. She's too young to be interested in boys."

* * *

Kendall held Logan up with one arm as he reached forward to open the door to their hotel. He groaned as Logan nipped, licked and sucked on his neck. Once he got the door open he placed his hands on Logan's thighs and carried him into the room. He used his foot to close the door behind them and went straight over to the bed room. Logan whined and began shifting in Kendall's arms as he rubbed himself against Kendall. When they finally reached the bed Kendall allowed himself to fall forward so he wouldn't be even slightly separated from Logan. Kendall pulled Logan into a deep kiss as he ran his hands down his chest and under the hem of his shirt. He gingerly ran his fingers over Logan's abs and chest loving how the muscles twitched under his touch. Logan gasped and moaned when Kendall pinched Logan's nipple.

"Kendall take it off." Logan pulled at his shirt wanting it to be off so Kendall could touch his skin. Kendall chuckled and sat up so he could remove his shirt and Logan's. He settled himself between Logan's legs again and attached his lips to Logan's neck. Logan was withering from the pleasure as Kendall began to pinch both of his nipples and continued to suck on his neck. Kendall moved down Logan's body making sure to rub their growing erections together. He let out a growl as he attached his lips to one of Logan's nipples as he continued to pinch the other. Logan laced his fingers through Kendall's hair and tugged making Kendall growl. He pulled Kendall into a deep kiss before thrusting his hips up and flipping their positions so Logan was straddling Kendall's waist. He bit his lip seductively as he moved his hands slowly down Kendall's chest. Logan bent his fingers slightly so his nails lightly scratched Kendall's skin making him shiver. When Logan reached the top of Kendall's jeans he forcefully pulled them open giving Kendall a mischievous smirk as he forced the zipper down.

"You're so hot Logie." Kendall threw his head back and groaned as Logan reached into his boxers and grasped onto his erection. He thrust his hips up slightly as Logan pumped his dick quickly. Logan pulled his hand out of Kendall's pants and quickly began to pull his jeans down. Kendall kicked off his shoes allowing his pants to come completely off. Logan quickly stood and shimmied out of his own pants before returning to Kendall. He smirked up at him before moving to Kendall's erection and taking it into his mouth. Kendall let out a long moan and gripped the bed sheet firmly. Logan bobbed up and down making him moan and groan from pleasure. After one powerful suck Logan released Kendall's erection and moved back up to attach his lips to Kendall's.

"I love you." Kendall smiled and grabbed Logan's hips flipping them again.

"I love you too." Kendall stood up and grabbed the lube he placed on the table. He moved back to Logan and poured some on his fingers before immediately inserting a finger into Logan's entrance. Logan spread his legs wider and moaned loudly. He thrust against Kendall's finger as he pulled it out and added another. Kendall scissored his fingers and plunged forward making Logan whine for more. When he felt Logan was prepared enough he pulled his fingers out. As Kendall applied lube to his own member he bent down and kissed Logan's chest and stomach. He moved to Logan's spread legs and kissed his inner thigh. Logan made a high pitched noise and flinched away from Kendall's touch. He looked up at Logan with a raised eyebrow. Logan blushed and looked away from Kendall.

"My inner thighs are really sensitive." Kendall smirked and removed his hand from his own member and grabbed onto Logan's thigh. He attached his lips and began to lick and suck making Logan squirm. "Kendall… stop it." Kendall licked a long line from Logan's knee to his crotch. He kissed the head of Logan's member before moving back up his body and shoving himself into Logan's entrance. Logan cried out as Kendall began with a furious pace. Kendall placed his hands on the back of Logan's thighs and pushed them towards Logan's chest and far apart.

"God you're so tight." Kendall moaned and began fucking Logan deep and fast. Logan closed his eyes and continued to moan Kendall's name as he pounded in and out of him. Logan winced slightly as Kendall pushed his legs father apart but he didn't care about that. The pleasure between his legs was far superior to the feeling of his slightly straining muscles.

"Harder Kendall!" Kendall smirked and picked up his pace making Logan cry out as his prostate was hit repeatedly. Kendall could feel he was getting closer to coming. He loved that Logan was begging for more and completely submitting to him. Logan's body stiffened and he cried out as he forcefully orgasmed. His eyes rolled back as Kendall continued to pound into his prostate lengthening his orgasm. Kendall thrust forward twice more before unloading into Logan. His hips stuttered and he groaned loudly as his orgasm peeked. When they both came down from their orgasms Kendall pulled out of Logan and plopped down next to him. He pulled Logan to his chest and kissed the top of his chest lovingly.

"I love you."

"I love you too."

* * *

James, Carlos and Molly were sitting on the couch watching morning cartoons when the front door opened. Molly smiled brightly and ran over to the door when Logan walked in.

"Papa!" Logan smiled and lifted Molly up and hugged her tightly. He kissed her cheek and tickled her making her laugh.

"Hi Molly, how's my baby doing? Did you have fun with James and Carlos?" She nodded and giggled. Logan smiled and kissed her on the cheek again. When Kendall walked through the door Molly reached out to him.

"Daddy!" Kendall smiled and took her into his arms. He kissed her on the cheek and walked towards the couch were James and Carlos were still seated.

"So, how did it go?" Carlos smiled.

"It was uneventful. You guys should give us more credit. We did a good job." Kendall chuckled and nodded as he placed Molly back on the ground.

"Why don't you go with Papa to the kitchen and get a drink." Molly nodded and ran towards the kitchen with Logan right behind her. Logan poured a glass of water and took one of Molly's Sippy cups and filled it with juice before handing it to her and walking back over to Carlos, James, and Kendall.

"You guys did a really good job. The apartment isn't destroyed and Molly is completely happy." James smiled in triumph.

"You see, we are great babysitters." Molly walked towards her room but dropped her cup making the contents spill all over the floor.

"Fuck!" Logan chocked on his drink almost dropping the glass. He looked at Kendall with wide eyes who was also shocked. James and Carlos looked at each other before swallowing hard when they realized how furious Logan looked.

Which one of you taught her that?" Logan hissed. Carlos and James chuckled nervously before Carlos jumped up and ran off. "CARLOS GET BACK HERE!" Logan ran after Carlos while shaking his fist in the air. Kendall sighed and shook his head at James.

"I better go explain to Molly why that is a bad word."

**A/N: DONE! This chapter took me a while to do. For one I had friends over and two I was watching Harry Potter and kept loosing focus lol. Anyway I hope you liked this chapter. I originally didn't have the stuff with Kendall and Logan becuase i thought i should focus on someone other then them for one chapter but it wasn't even 1000 words long and that is WAY to short so i added the stuff with Kendall and Logan to lenthen the chapter. I actually like it like this better. There will only be three more and then I'm moving on to my next story. If any of you guys have read Abduction and are still waiting for that to continue its still going to be on hiatus for a while. I thought of another idea and I want to work on that next. I'm not going to give up and I might try writing more chapters for it every now and then but not focus on it.**

**There is more to come.**

**(1): When I was younger my friend's mom used to make popsicles out of orange juice. They were really good. And she always used handles that looked like Mickey Mouse ears lol. **


	18. questions

"Hurry up James or we will leave without you!" Kendall banged on the bathroom door for the fifth time. He wanted to get going already but James just had to take forever getting ready. Kendall stepped back when James finally opened the door. He huffed and crossed his arms across his chest. "It's about time!" James rolled his eyes and walked past Kendall.

"You know I cannot leave this house until I look perfect." Kendall rolled his eyes and playfully pushed James.

"Yea, Yea whatever." They both walked into the living room where everyone was waiting for them. "Ok, let's get this show on the road." Logan picked up Molly and everyone picked up their stuff as they left the apartment. It was father's day weekend so they were all going on a family outing. Carlos and James' parents were able to visit for a few days and Kendall's dad visited as well. When they got to their cars they all hopped in and they drove to a park a couple of blocks from the Palm Woods. There was a lot of events and games going on their so they thought it would be fun thing to do. When they reached the park it was already full of other families. They were sitting on blankets and eating or playing with their kids. Molly soon grew excited from all the activity. She pushed against Logan's chest wanting to be put down so she could go play with the other kids her age. Logan chuckled and placed her on the ground. Before she could run off he knelt down in front of her and gave her a serious look.

"Now Molly don't go too far from me. Make sure you can see me and daddy at all times. Got it?" Molly nodded her head vigorously. Logan smiled and kissed her forehead before setting her loose. She immediately ran over to a jungle gym and began run around and interact with other children. Logan stood a few feet away making sure she didn't do anything dangerous.

"You're really doing an excellent job raising Molly Logan." Mr. Diamond walked up next to Logan smiling as he watched Molly. He crossed his arms over his chest then turned his attention to Logan. Logan blinked a few times then finally spoke up.

"T-thank you Mr. Diamond." Mr. Diamond chuckled and pat Logan on the shoulder.

"You're a good kid Logan. You haven't changed one bit. Your dad would be proud of you." Logan turned back to Molly and smiled warmly. Mr. Diamond could tell from the expression on his face he was a little lost on memory lane.

(Flashback)

"Are you sure the other kids will play with me papa?" Mr. Mitchell bent down to Logan's level and gave him a warm smile.

"Of course, all you have to do is be yourself Logan." Logan glanced behind him at the playground. There were kids his age running around everywhere. It was all so intimidating. Logan turned back to his father with fear in his eyes. Mr. Mitchell sighed and ruffled Logan's hair. "Don't worry Logan I'll be right here if you need me so make sure you don't go too far and that you can see me at all times." Logan swallowed and nodded. He gave his dad a hug before hesitantly walking towards the playground. He would glance back at his father every now and then to make sure he was still there. When Logan reached the center of the playground there was a large sandbox. He smiled brightly before jumping into it. He had a sandbox in his backyard and he always loved playing in it. Logan dropped to his knees and began digging. He always found the coolest stuff in his sandbox at home so he figured he could find even cooler stuff here. Logan stopped digging when he spotted something shinny. He brushed the sand off of it and smiled when he realized it was a quarter. Logan smiled and was getting up to show his dad when he was pushed back down.

"What was that for?" Logan sat up and stared at the older boy standing above him. The boy leaned forward so his face was closer to Logan's

"I did it cause you're stupid."

"I'm not stupid and my papa said that's not a nice word."

"Whatever! Just give me the quarter." The boy kicked the sand making it go all over Logan. Logan whimpered as it got in his nose, eyes, and mouth. He began coughing and was about to call for his dad when he heard another voice.

"Leave him alone!" Logan couldn't open his eyes because of the sand so he turned his head in the approximate direction of the voice. Logan listened intently wondering what would become of him and the kid who was trying to help him. The silence stretched on until Logan heard retreating footsteps.

"You ok?" Logan furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. That was a different voice. Logan tried to open his eyes but whimpered when they hurt. He tried rubbing his eyes again and tensed when he heard footsteps approaching him again.

"Logan are you ok?" Logan relaxed when he heard his father's voice.

"My eyes hurt Papa." Logan felt himself being lifted up into a standing position and something wet coming in contact with his eyes. Mr. Mitchell gently wiped Logan's eyes with a wet napkin until Logan could open them normally. Mr. Mitchell smiled at Logan and ruffled his hair.

"There, all better." Logan smiled at his dad then turned wanting to see the boys who helped him. He soon realized that there had actually been three of them and the first one he set his sights on was a small blonde boy.

"Hi, I'm Kendall. What's your name?"

"Logan." Logan looked down and hid slightly behind his father. "Thank you for being nice to me." Kendall smiled brightly making Logan blush.

"It's what friends are for." Logan looked up and blinked a couple of times.

"Friends?" Kendall nodded.

"Yea, were friends now. Do you want to play with me, Carlos, and James?" Kendall extended his hand out to Logan. Logan looked at it for a moment then smiled and placed his hand in Kendall's

"Yea!"

(End Flashback.)

"Logie!" Logan jumped slightly and turned to see Kendall staring at him with a raised eyebrow.

"O-oh sorry I was just thinking." Kendall moved to Logan's side and wrapped his arm around his waist.

"About what?" Logan smiled and leaned his head against Kendall's shoulder.

"About the first day we met. You know it's funny. Most of the stuff from when I was that young is a blur but I can remember the day I met you, James, and Carlos perfectly." Kendall nodded in agreement. Both boys turned when they heard their names being called. Carlos was jumping up and down while chewing on a corndog. Their families had taken out a few blankets and were sitting together ready to eat. Kendall called for Molly and she ran over telling Logan and Kendall about the fun she was having as soon as she reached them.

Everyone sat together and talked for most of the day. Molly played around them or tried and get everyone to play with her. Carlos had the most fun playing with her and he still found it cute and humorous every time Molly gravitated towards James. When the day was over James and Carlos said goodbye to their parents, who returned to their hotels, and went home with Mrs. Knight, Katie, Logan, Kendall, and Molly.

* * *

Logan was caring Molly's sleeping form when they walked through the front door of apartment 2J. Kendall smiled at her and kissed her head before Logan took her to her room. When Logan set her down on her bed Molly had woken up. She yawned and smiled at Logan.

"Papa?" Logan pulled Molly's blanket over her then smiled down at her.

"What is it Molly?"

"How come I don't have a mommy?" Logan was a little shocked by the question. He had expected it at some point but not this early. She was only three, how could he explain it to her?

"What made you think of asking that?" Molly thought for a moment.

"Well daddy has a mommy and James has a mommy and Carlos has a mommy…" Molly trailed off looking at Logan for an explanation. Logan thought for a moment then spoke.

"Well… Molly, you do have a mommy. It's just… uh… you see when daddy and I wanted to have a baby we needed a mommy because neither daddy or I can have babies. So your mommy helped us have you and now me and daddy take care of you." Molly still looked slightly confused but she nodded in understanding anyway. Logan sighed thinking he had been able to get through that pretty easily but Molly wasn't done yet.

"Why do you need a mommy to have a baby?" Logan inwardly groaned. He wasn't really ready to explain the birds and the bees to his daughter. He was hoping he could leave that job to Mrs. Knight when Molly was much, much older.

"Well… do you remember Mrs. Finch?" Molly nodded her head.

"She had a really big tummy." Logan smirked and nodded.

"Yea, that's because she had a baby in her tummy. Mommy's are special because they can carry babies in them but daddy's can't do that. That's why we needed a mommy." Molly nodded in understanding again making Logan smile. He kissed her forehead and was prepared to sing her to sleep but she asked another question.

"Papa, why don't you have a mommy and daddy?" Logan couldn't help the sad expression that came to his face. Molly was watching him intently while frowning. "Why are you sad?" Logan smiled and pet Molly's head.

"I'm not sad Molly… I do have a mommy and daddy but they had to go away." Molly furrowed her eyebrows in confusion.

"What do you mean?"

"Well… do you remember that gold fish Carlos bought at the fair?" Molly nodded her head. "Remember how we had to say goodbye to it because he passed away and went to heaven?" Molly nodded her head again. "My mommy and daddy are in heaven too." Molly frowned deeply.

"Why?" Logan sighed.

"It was their time to go." Molly nodded finally allowing her eyelids to close. Logan watched her for a few minutes before kissing her head softly and leaving. When he walked into his and Kendall's room Kendall was on the bed waiting for him.

"What took you so long?" Logan sighed and laid down next to Kendall. He cuddled into Kendall's side and relaxed his body.

"Molly was asking a lot of… difficult questions." Kendall's eyebrows furrowed in confusion as he looked down at Logan.

"What do you mean?"

"She asked why she didn't have a mommy." Kendall sighed heavily.

"What did you say?"

"I basically said that boys can't have babies so we needed a girl to have her. It was the best thing I could think to say." Kendall rubbed Logan's side soothingly.

"It's a lot better then what I would have come up with." Logan chuckled lightly then sighed again.

"Yea, but then she asked why we needed a mommy to have a baby."

"Don't tell me you told her about the birds and bees." Logan chuckled and shook his head.

"No she's too young for that. I just said that girls can carry babies and boys can't." Kendall chuckled and kissed the top of Logan's head. He could sense Logan was thinking about something else.

"Is that all?" Logan sighed and shook his head.

"She asked why… I don't have a mom and dad." Kendall frowned and pulled Logan closer to him. "I told her they were in heaven like that fish Carlos got a few months ago. Then she asked me why and I told her it was there time to go. I tried to be as honest as I could but I felt like that last explanation was a total lie." Logan looked up at Kendall with sad eyes. "It wasn't there time… and I know it." Kendall hugged Logan and kissed him reassuringly.

"It's ok. We can't be honest with her all the time and I'm sure she'll understand everything one day." Logan nodded and laid back against Kendall's chest. He let out a heavy sigh before drifting off to sleep.

**A/N: DONE! Sorry this chapter is kind of suckish. I have two papers do on Thursday so I couldn't really focus on this. Anyway I hope you enjoyed this chapter**

**There is more to come.**


	19. a hard day comes to a peaceful end

**A/N: sorry this took so long I had a lot of stuff to do before my thanks giving break but now I can finally relax. **

**ok, I made a last minute decision. This is going to be the last chapter… for this story anyway. There is going to be a chapter 20 but it doesn't have to do with SCFE. It actually has to do with the first silent crys and that's all I'm gunna say about it. Also, I want to give ****TheMonsterThatLivesUnderUrBed**** the credit for this chapter. I would have never thought of doing this but it was an excellent idea and I just had to do it! **

**I thought I'd make a note before the chapter… in the last chapter Molly was three and Kendall, James, Carlos, and Logan were 24. This chapter skips ahead one year so Molly is 4 and the guys are 25.**

"Ok guys you're done for the day."James, Carlos, Kendall, and Logan walked out of the sound booth with smiles on their faces. Big time Rush was still going strong and they each believed they would be able to last at least another few years before they moved on from the band. With their success of the band over the years some things have changed. For one Gustavo stopped calling them dogs a few years ago and began treating them more like adults. When Gustavo treated them more like equals he found that he really could be friends with them.

"That was great right Gustavo." James was smiling hugely. They had just finished recording a new song and James thought they had done extremely well.

"Of course it was good but you guys can always do better." The four boys sighed but nodded. Gustavo always wanted the best out of them and he always pushed them to the limit. Now a days he was just a lot nicer about doing it. The boys said their goodbyes to Gustavo and Kelly and made their way over to the limo. When they climbed in and sat down they all let out content sighs as their tense muscles relaxed.

"So what's everyone doing for the rest of the day?" Carlos looked to each of his friends expectantly. He actually didn't know what he wanted to do today so he was hoping Kendall, James, or Logan was planning on doing something fun.

"Well I have to update my online homework." Carlos grimaced. That didn't sound fun. When Logan turned 18 he had began taking classes online. James, Kendall, and Carlos were amazed that he was able to get through college with all the stuff that had been going on but when he turned 22 he got a degree in pre medicine. After that he signed up for more medical classes hoping when the band was over he could go through medical school quickly. He was technically behind the game but when it came to his knowledge of medicine he was ahead of everyone else. Carlos turned his attention to Kendall who was still thinking about plans for the day.

"Well I was thinking of bringing Molly to an ice rink. I might as well do that today." Logan pouted.

"Aw, I'm gunna miss the first time Molly ice skates?" Kendall chuckled and kissed Logan's cheek.

"Come with us. Your homework isn't due for another two weeks. It can wait until tomorrow." Logan thought about it for a moment then sighed.

"Ok, it can wait." Carlos smiled at his two friends. They had been together for years and their relationship was still going strong. Carlos hoped that one day he could meet the girl of his dreams and have a relationship like his friends. Carlos then turned to James who was looking up with a smile on his face. He raised an eyebrow and looked at Kendall and Logan who were watching James with raised eyebrows as well.

"JAMES!" The three boys yelled simultaneously making James scream and almost fall off the seat. They all started laughing while James narrowed his eyes at them.

"Ha ha ha you guys are so funny!" When they sobered up Carlos spoke.

"So, what are you doing today James?"

"Well I was thinking of taking that girl Julia out but I don't know where to take her."

"Why don't you come with me and Logan to the ice rink?" James thought for a moment then smiled.

"Yea, that's a good idea." Kendall chuckled at James as he whipped out his phone and began rapidly texting. He turned to Carlos who was slightly pouting.

"You gunna come too?"

"I'd be a fifth wheel." Logan scoffed.

"No you wouldn't Carlos. I can't guarantee that James won't ignore us but you've hung out with me and Kendall all the time." Carlos nodded knowing Logan was right. "And Molly loves playing with you." Carlos smiled and chuckled that girl was a little ball of energy. She was crazy like Camille and confident like Kendall. She could also be a little timid in certain situations and super smart like Logan and was able to do a lot of things kids her age couldn't do.

When they reached the Palm Woods James met Julia in the lobby while Kendall, Logan and Carlos went up to apartment 2J. Once inside Molly was running over to them.

"Papa!" Logan smiled and lifted Molly of the ground. He kissed her cheek making her giggle.

"Hi Molly, did you miss me." She nodded vigorously then pushed against Logan's chest so he would put her down. Once her feet touched the ground she grabbed his hand and attempted to pull him towards the living room. Logan chuckled and began walking with Molly.

"Look what I made!" She picked a piece of paper of the coffee table and held it up for Logan to see. He took it and smiled brightly at Molly.

"Wow, this is so good." Molly smiled and held her arms up wanting to be lifted up. Logan held Molly on his hip in a very feminine manor. Molly pointed out everything in the picture when Carlos and Kendall walked over.

"That's you and daddy and Carlos and Jamie!" Kendall smiled at Molly and kissed her head. While Carlos and Kendall complemented her on her drawing Molly was looking around confused. "Papa, where's Jamie?" Kendall and Carlos snickered to themselves. Molly didn't even attempt to hide her infatuation for James. Logan smiled and pat Molly on the head.

"He's talking to a friend but he'll be up soon cause we're all going ice skating." Molly immediately brightened. She'd been curious about it for a while so she was excited she would finally get to go. Logan put Molly down so he could change his clothes like everyone else. Once he was done he helped Molly get ready who was bouncing with excitement. When everyone was almost done James came strolling into the apartment with his arm draped over, the blonde girl, Julia's shoulder. They were laughing and talking barely registering when Molly ran over to them. Molly tugged on James' pants attempting to get his attention.

"Jamie…" James sobered up and smiled down at Molly. He pet her head then told Julia to wait in the living room while he got ready. Molly watched James and Julia talk with a frown on her face. When James left the room Molly gave Julia a look that could almost be considered a glare. Julia bent down to Molly's level and gave her a warm smile.

"Hi, what's your name?" Molly stepped back from Julia making her drop her smile slightly.

"My papa says I can't talk to strangers." Julia chuckled slightly.

"I'm not a stranger; I'm a friend of James. I'm friends with your dads too. Molly didn't say anything but simply walked away from Julia who was giving her a confused look. She walked over to Kendall who was just walking into the room and attached herself to his leg. Kendall bent down and lifted Molly up into his arms. James, Logan, and Carlos walked into the living room at the same time and once they were sure they had everything they needed they made their way out the door. James moved to Julia's side and draped his arm over her shoulder. As they moved through the lobby Kendall noticed Molly had a look on her face.

"What's wrong baby girl?" Molly didn't drop the look and was staring straight ahead.

"I don't like her." Kendall furrowed his eyebrows then followed Molly's line of vision until his eyes were set on the blonde girl Julia. Kendall turned back to Molly and gave her a disapproving look.

"That's not very nice Molly, you don't even know her. You shouldn't judge people."

"Ok daddy."

* * *

When they got to the ice rink Logan couldn't help but notice how strangely Molly was acting. She was normally a perfect angel but the minute they got there she started acting more like a devil child. She wasn't listening to Logan and refused to stop misbehaving. Logan had never had a problem with Molly acting out before and frankly, he wasn't sure if he would be able to discipline her properly. He was too soft. Molly skated past James and Julia who were messing around. She had been trying to get him to play with her but all his attention was on his date.

"Molly come here please!" Logan was skating over towards Molly who kept skating away from him. She turned and crossed her arms giving Logan a pout.

"No!" Molly skated away but Logan was able to catch up easily.

"Molly when I tell you to stop I mean it. If you're going to act like this we will go home… understand." Molly stomped away or rather wobbled as she skated over to Kendall. Logan ran his fingers through his hair and let out a long sigh. When he stood back up James was giving him a sympathetic look.

"She's being a little difficult today." Logan nodded and skated over to Kendall, Carlos, and Molly. Carlos was watching Kendall awkwardly as he reprimanded Molly for not listening to Logan. When Kendall was finished she gave Logan a week apology, which he had no problem excepting.

After another hour of skating everyone decided to move to the small lunch area to eat. Molly hadn't been acting up as much as before but she was still straying away from Logan and Kendall more often than they would like. Carlos was the first one up to get himself food. He unsurprisingly ordered the most, which consisted of French fries, corndogs, and hamburgers. Kendall went up next ordering for himself, Molly, and Logan and James went up last ordering for himself and Julia. They all sat down at a large table with Kendall, Logan, and Molly on one side and James, Julia, and Carlos on the other. While Logan, Kendall, and Carlos joked and talked James was flirting with Julia. He played with her hair and tickled her always keeping his eyes on her. Molly called out to James a few times but he would simply give her a smile and pet her head. She was getting more frustrated and antsy as time went on and Logan was beginning to have trouble keeping Molly in her seat.

"Molly sit down." Logan lifted her up and moved her legs so Molly wasn't standing on the bench anymore. When she moved to get up again he repeated the motion. "I mean it Molly stop it." Molly crossed her arms and pouted heavily. Logan sighed and looked up at Kendall who was also beginning to get frustrated. "I'm starting to wish we had invited your mom. She's good at this stuff." Kendall sighed and nodded his head. He had to admit he wasn't so good at discipline either.

"Maybe we should just leave." Kendall and Logan turned to Carlos who was giving them a sympathetic look. "I mean the only person who is actually having fun here is James." Kendall sighed and nodded. He rotated around on the bench and replaced the ice skates he was wearing with his sneakers. Logan and Carlos did the same then Logan removed Molly's skates. Kendall took Logan's and Molly's skates and got up with Carlos.

"I'll take this back." Logan nodded and sat back down on the bench. After a minute he noticed Kendall had dropped one of the skates. He let out a sigh and poked James' shoulder.

"Huh?" Logan rolled his eyes.

"Kendall, Carlos, and I are leaving. Kendall dropped a skate so watch Molly while I bring it to him." James nodded and lifted Molly onto his lap. Logan sighed and walked out of sight. Molly was smiling at James but the smile soon fell when he stopped looking at her. She tugged on his shirt a few times but she couldn't get his attention. She turned in James' lap and looked up at Julia. She frowned as James reached out and touched her face. Molly huffed and reached out to the cup of soda on the table. She opened the lid and poured the full contents onto Julia's lap. She screeched from the cold and stood up quickly. Kendall, Logan, and Carlos had come back in enough time to see everything. James stood up quickly still holding Molly. Kendall took her from him and set her on the ground allowing James to help Julia attempt to clean up.

"Molly, that wasn't nice. You don't do that to people ever." Molly was fidgeting as Kendall scolded her. She glanced behind her and saw Logan was standing with James and Julia rapidly apologizing. "Look at me Molly… I want you to apologize." Kendall gave her a look when she shook her head and crossed her arms. He lifted her up quickly and walked over to the group. "Let's go." Without another word they left the ice rink.

* * *

When James, Kendall, Logan, and Carlos walked back into 2J Mrs. Knight was in the kitchen cooking dinner. She looked up in confusion when she heard Molly crying. Kendall walked in first looking annoyed. Logan was apprehensively walking behind him with an awkward James and Carlos next. Kendall walked straight to the living room and grabbed one of the tiny chairs that Logan had bought for Molly. He then moved to the other side of the room and set it in the corner facing everyone. He sat Molly down on the chair and knelt in front of her.

"Don't move from here until I get you, understand." Molly refused to make eye contact with Kendall. He sighed and stood up walking away. When he heard movement behind him he turned around. "Sit down!" Molly sat back down right away not expecting to be yelled at. Logan cringed and moved to Kendall's side.

"Kendall… you don't have to yell at her."

"She's not going to learn if I don't." Logan bit his lip but nodded. He glanced over at Molly who was sniffing and crying. He desperately wanted to go to her but he knew she wouldn't learn anything if he took away the punishment. Kendall and Logan moved over to the kitchen and plopped down next to James and Carlos. Mrs. Knight was just finish setting out the food she cooked.

"What was that all about?" Kendall sighed and ran his fingers through his hair.

"Molly poured soda on James' date." Mrs. Knight raised both her eyebrows in surprise.

"That doesn't sound like Molly." Logan nodded.

"I know she was acting out all day. I don't know what was causing it."

"I bet she was jealous." Everyone turned to Katie who had been sitting at the table silently. Kendall and Logan gave each other looks before turning back to Katie.

"Jealous… of what?" Katie scoffed and rolled her eyes at Kendall.

"Uh hello! She poured soda on _James'_ date. I think it's pretty obvious." Katie turned to James. "Let me guess… Molly spent the whole time trying to get your attention and every time you ignored her she acted out." James cringed and nodded. H really did ignore Molly the whole day. James sighed and stood up.

"Let me talk to her."Kendall and Logan nodded and watched as James walked over to Molly. He bent down in front of her frowning when she turned in the chair so she wasn't facing him. "You're mad at me." Molly sniffed and wiped her nose. When she didn't move James rotated the chair so she was facing him. Molly crossed her arms and turned her head.

"You're mean." James sighed.

"I know… I'm sorry I ignored you. I wasn't being very nice was I?" Molly shook her head still pouting. "But you weren't very nice either… were you?" Molly looked down and shook her head. "Next time try and tell me that I'm being mean or tell your daddy and he'll be sure to knock some sense into me." James knocked on his head and made a funny face making Molly giggle. "Do you think you could forgive me?" Molly nodded and reached out to give James a hug.

"I'm sorry Jamie." James smiled and lifted Molly up.

"It's ok. Now why don't we go apologize to your daddy and papa so you don't have to sit here anymore?" Molly nodded and allowed James to carry her over to the kitchen. Everyone looked up when they walked over making Molly blush and hide her face from the attention. When James reached the table Molly reached out for Kendall. As he placed her in his lap she wrapped her arms around his neck.

"I'm sorry daddy." Kendall smiled and kissed Molly's head.

"It's ok, I'm sorry I yelled at you." Molly kissed Kendall on the cheek then turned and reached out for Logan. He pulled her into his lap and kissed her cheek making her giggle. He pet her head and hugged her close to his body.

"You ok sweetheart." Molly nodded and laid her head against Logan's chest. She closed her eyes and wrapped her arms around his neck.

"I'm sorry papa." Logan smiled and rubbed her back soothingly.

"It's ok." He kissed her head and continued to rub her back until she fell asleep. Logan excused himself from the table and walked to Molly's room. He pushed back her covers and laid her in her bed before tucking her in again. He smiled at her sleeping form not noticing when Kendall walked in. Kendall wrapped his arm around Logan's waist and kissed the side of his head. He leaned his head against Logan's as they watched Molly sleep.

"She's going to be a good kid." Logan chuckled.

"You're still so sure even after today." Kendall chuckled quietly and nodded his head.

"Today was just one little slip up. We'll have little problems in the future but I don't see us having another day like today. She has too many good people in her life for that." Logan nodded and turned so he could wrap his arms around Kendall's neck. He leaned forward and gave Kendall and deep kiss before leaning his head against Kendall's chest and let out a sigh. It was hard to believe all they had gone through just to end up at this moment. He had endured so much pain and heartbreak and now he was enjoying watching his innocent daughter as she grew up right in front of him. Like Kendall said they were going to have their problems but they would get through them like they always did in the past. All Logan can really do is sit back and appreciate the fact that he has a family again.

**A/N: and it's over. Now I really mean it this time… Silent Crys is over and done with. There is going to be another chapter but it's going to be different from all the others. It's kind of like a recapping of the story but… let's just say it's not in Logan, Kendall, Carlos, or James' points of view. I should have the last chapter up by tomorrow and maybe the same day or the next I'll put up the first chapter of my new Kogan "The Way I Am." It's a little different then what I've usually done, it's in Logan's point of view and not in 3****rd**** person also you can say it's a one sided Kogan. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed the chapter. Since there still is one more chapter to go I can still say…**

**There is more to come. **


	20. the one who caused the crys

**A/N: just wanted to warn you guys there is some graphic stuff in here so read if you dare!**

I never thought that moving to the Palm Woods would change my life so drastically. I never realized that meeting him would show me who I really was, what I was really capable of. I had been living at the Palm Woods for a few months but I hadn't met anyone that interesting. Then one day when I was sitting at the pool I noticed an average height boy with dark hair lying on the opposite side of the pool reading. He had a cute face and a slight build. I could tell he had some muscles but they weren't that noticeable if you weren't really looking. My eyes racked over every inch of this kid. I didn't know why but I could feel something at the pit of my stomach that wanted this guy. I wanted to touch and feel every part of him but first, I had to get his name. Without even thinking I shot up and strolled over to him. He didn't notice me so I spoke to get his attention.

"Hey." The boy looked up at me and I could tell he was slightly confused. It was obvious that strange guys didn't walk up to him every day and when I noticed his eyes racking over my body I couldn't help but smirk. We haven't even talked and I was already liking this kid. After another minute he was still just staring at me. I must have given him a weird look because he immediately blushed the cutest shade of red.

"How can I help you?" I smiled and sat down next to him. His voice was soft and sweet. I don't know what was causing me to feel so heated but everything about this boy made me want to push him against a wall and ravish him.

"Well I noticed you sitting here by yourself and I thought you might want some company. My names Ryan by the way." He laughed? Normally that would greatly damage my ego but there was something about his laugh that made me feel, you could say, all warm and fuzzy inside.

"Sorry dude it's just that I was just thinking you look like Cam Gigandet and then you tell me your name is Ryan." I fought of the need to groan. I really hated when people compared me to that dumbass. I had seen the movie at least a dozen times because people just had to show me how similar we looked. I soon realized I could use this to my advantage. As far as this guy knew, I've never seen the movie.

"Oh, yea the guy from the movie Never Back Down. His name was Ryan in that right?" He nodded at me. "Yea I get that a lot but I've never actually seen the movie, is it any good?"

"Yea it's defiantly good. Good story, good actors, and considering for most of the movie the actors are shirtless I defiantly can't complain." Jackpot! He was gay. Time to make my move.

"So, I take it your gay then." The guy nodded slowly at me. I could see the apprehension in his eyes. "Thank god cause it would have really sucked to find out I was hitting on a straighty." The look on the kids face was priceless. His jaw dropped making his mouth form an "O." I almost licked my lips while looking at his soft lips.

"You're…. H-hitting on me?" I couldn't help but smirk. He was obviously new to gay dating. Getting him was going to be easier than I thought.

"Yea, and now that we've gotten that out of the way, would you like to hang out with me?"

"Sure. And I know exactly what we can do." I furrowed my eyebrows at him but I had a feeling what he was talking about.

"By the way, you never told me your name." He blushed and turned back towards me.

"Oh sorry, it's Logan." As he walked away from me I couldn't help but watch him. Logan… it was a fitting name for a cutie like him.

* * *

After spending the night watching that stupid movie I didn't see Logan again until a few days later. I invited him to my place and we did what you would usually think people did on a date. At the end of the night Logan shyly asked me to be his boyfriend and I would be stupid to say no. I attached my lips to his and felt a strong hunger surge through me. I wanted to taste every part of him. Our lips moved together but he pulled away. I wasn't having any of that. I attached my lips to his neck and sucked and nipped on his soft skin. I could vaguely hear him saying something and felt a slight pressure on my chest but I ignored it. I could feel heat moving to my loins and the sensation of lust dulling my senses. I grabbed his hips and pulled him close to me while a bit down hard. I would have continued but Logan's voice broke through my lust filled haze. I reluctantly pulled away but noticed the fear in his eyes. When I glanced at his neck I couldn't help but feel slightly guilty. I left a pretty nasty mark. After I apologized several times Logan accepted with a smile and went home.

When he was gone I couldn't help but sigh. I don't know what it was but something about the way he looked after I touched him, and the way he felt against me. I wanted more of it.

* * *

After a few weeks of dating my urges were becoming more prominent in my mind. I wanted Logan but I didn't know in what way. The marks I left on his body left me with an exhilarating feeling. His whimpers of pain always made me hotter but it never felt like enough. I needed more, but I didn't know exactly what I needed. I decided to invite Logan to the pool since no one was going to be around. As soon as he saw me he gave me a bright smile and kissed me softly. It wasn't enough. Before he could walk away I grabbed him and pulled him close to me. The fear in his eyes made shivers go down my spine. I pushed him against a wall in the lobby and continued to forcefully kiss him. I was over taken by the urge to touch and feel him so I moved my hands to the hem of his shirt. He actually tried to stop me, but I wasn't having that. I pinned his wrists above his head and bit his lip smiling as he flinched. He broke the kiss and like many times before I moved to bit on his neck. I started rubbing myself against him and forced him back against the wall when he tried to get away from me. I was blocked out to him once again until he yelled at me. I reluctantly pulled away not wanting him to yell again. His voice could get annoying when he did that.

"What's wrong Logan?" I usually tried to stay calm around him but he was getting on my nerves. This snail's pace just wasn't doing it for me. He started talking about how he wasn't ready for a physical relationship but that was just stupid. I went to touch him again but he actually pushed me. I couldn't hold it in anymore. He had gotten on my last nerve. I grabbed him and threw him into the wall. I could feel his body trembling under me and… I loved it. I kissed the side of his face and smiled at him before walking away. I never realized how good his fear felt.

* * *

I could not believe Logan had the audacity to break up with me. Who did he think he was in this relationship? He didn't call the shots. I did. I didn't have to wait long for him to walk back to 2J. I grabbed him and threw him against the wall again. He was surprised to see me but I never liked the look of surprise. It was the fear that I wanted. He screamed at me but I grabbed him by the hair and dragged him to my apartment completely ignoring him. I was tired of the games. I was going to take what I wanted.

I never would have thought that hitting another person would feel so good. Ever scream and cry sent shivers through my body and sent waves of arousal straight to my erection. He tried to get away from me but a few kicks set him straight. I never thought I could get any better but when I first shoved inside of him, it was the best feeling in the world. His tight entrance constricted around me and I couldn't help but moan loudly. I shoved in deep and hard making him cry out for me to stop. I chuckled at that. If he thought I was going to stop the most amazing feeling in the world he was dumber then he looked. I sat back on my calves and spread his legs so I could get better access to his entrance. He didn't seem to notice. I grabbed his hips and started thrusting fast as I felt tightness in my lower stomach. I was moaning becoming more aroused as Logan cried out like a bitch. After a few more deep thrust I emptied inside of him. My eyes rolled back and my hips stuttered as the most amazing feeling in the world washed over me. When I was done I pulled out of Logan smiling as he whimpered. When I left the room I could hear him sobbing making me instantly hard again. As soon as I cleaned up I had no problem going for round two. When I went back to my room Logan was gone. I ran to the front door and saw him standing in front of it. My vision turned red with rage as he looked at me and ran out the door. He was going to pay for not listening to me.

I would have thought the fall down the stairs would have stopped him but I was wrong. I didn't get to him in time and he ran right into the lobby. I don't know what came over me when I saw all the faces staring at me. I was one of those people who cared about my reputation so I guess being caught doing something I wasn't supposed to affected my brain a little. I didn't even noticed when Kendall came over to me until he was beating on me. He didn't look like someone who could hit that hard but they do say don't judge a book by its cover. By the time his friends had already gotten Kendall off of me I was face to face with two police officers. When they dragged me out I only wish Logan had seen the death glare I shot him. He would get his that was a promise.

* * *

It didn't take long for my parents to post bail. I actually was in jail for less than 20 minutes but it took me a few days to recover before I could leave my apartment again. As soon as I went down to the pool I spotted Logan. He was with James and Carlos and he was actually having fun. I wasn't having any of that. As far as I was concerned Logan wasn't allowed to have fun. When he spotted me I couldn't help but smirk. The power I had over him was amazing. I walked right over to them ignoring all the glares thrown in my direction. They didn't matter. The only person I saw was Logan. Until James and Carlos blocked my view of him.

These idiots were so annoying. They were the only thing in my way of getting to Logan who was hiding behind them watching me. I didn't miss the way Logan flinched when James mentioned rape. I was staring right at him and when our eyes locked I knew every urge and feeling that was going through me Logan could see. I had to fight off a chuckle when Logan ran off. James and Carlos had given me a dirty look before they ran off with him.

"I'll be seeing you soon."

* * *

I should have known the only person who would come visit me in the middle of the night was Kendall. He was really the only person capable of making me feel any form of fear. The look in his eyes when he pushed me into the wall was dark and deadly. If he could I knew he would kill me. Logan had apparently told him everything. I was definitely surprised by that. I never thought Logan would say anything. When Kendall finally let me go and left I knew I was going to get Logan back. He didn't belong to anyone but me. I just had to disappear for a while.

* * *

It felt so good hearing his voice again. The fear; it made a familiar tingle move throughout my body. I needed to see that fear again… I needed Logan again. When I finally reached the end of the air duct I smiled when Logan came into view. His body was tense and his trembling matched the shaking in his voice. The look on his face when I told him I could see him… priceless. He ran like a chicken with its head cut of covering every window. The fact that I knew his attempts at hiding from me were futile made me smile.

The next thing I knew my vision of a beautifully distraught Logan was blocked by no one other then Kendall. He was holding tightly onto him as he whispered to him. My jaw clenched as I watched them. I couldn't believe Kendall was touching something that belonged to me. He was going to pay for that.

* * *

It didn't take me as long as the first time to crawl through the ducks that led to Logan's apartment. It was probably because this time I knew where I was going. I landed perfectly on the ground and made it to the center of the living room just in enough time for Logan to walk in. I smiled at him and raised my gun so it was pointing at him. I had a perfect plan for how everything was going to go. I was going to take Logan in front of his friends then kill him. It was one of those times were "if I can't have him no one can" was appropriate. Logan glanced to the side and I could tell his friends were standing there. He tried to tell them to run but they were too stupid to see it. Once they spotted me their eyes filled with fear. Not fear for themselves but fear for Logan. A second later Kendall walked in. He was stronger than the others. He was only showing anger so I had no problem with beating the fear into him. When he didn't relent I moved over to Logan. His fear was enough to satisfy me. He was begging as I lifted his shirt. I was so close to making Logan mine again but someone just had to interrupt us. I had, had enough with all this foolishness. I didn't care who it was. I raised my gun in the direction of the door ready to fire but Logan pulled me back. I was able to push him off but Kendall, James, and Carlos went for me. I aimed at Kendall but Carlos grabbed my arm as I pulled the trigger. The bullet hit Logan in the chest. I cursed to myself as I watched him fall. I wasn't done with him yet. Before I could do anything else I felt my head hit the floor then I was consumed by darkness.

* * *

When my eyes opened I was in a jail cell. I sighed and sat up ignoring the wave of dizziness that hit me. I stood up and paced the room a few times. I doubted my parents would be able to bail me out this time so getting revenge seemed out of the question. I huffed and kicked my mattress in annoyance.

"The son of a bitch will pay for this." I hissed out.

"Is that so?" I turned towards the bars of my cell noticing the clicking of heels for the first time. After another second a woman appeared in front of me. She had a cold arrogant stare… bitch. I walked over to the bars and gave her a cold glare. That seemed to knock her down a few notches. She broke eye contact and took in a breath before reaching her hand through the bars. "My name is Mrs. Stewart. I'm your lawyer." I glanced down at her hand for a moment then shook it. I smirked at the slightly pained face she made from my grip.

"So, how is this going to go? How much longer am I going to have to be in here?"

"I'm afraid I can't get you out sooner than the trail.

"WHAT!" I grabbed the bars and forced my face against them giving her a murderous expression. She gasped and stepped back slightly.

"I'm afraid shooting someone isn't something you can get out of easily." I sneered at the woman in front of me.

"You could care less about defending me." Mrs. Stewart sighed.

"Honestly, you're guilty. I'm just here to do my job." I felt my jaw clench and my fists tighten around the bars. Who the hell was she to judge me? I reached out and grabbed her blouse pulling her forward. She tried to scream but I covered her mouth before she could let anything out.

"You better make sure I get out of this or I will fucking kill you." Ever word of what I said was dripping with murderous intent. I was sick and tired of all of this. I was going to get out of here. I didn't care who I had to step on for that to happen. I let go of the woman's blouse and watched her as she quickly walked away. There was nothing more I could do. She got the message.

* * *

It was nice to be somewhere other than that dam cell. What I didn't expect though was to be brought into a room with another lawyer. I sat down across from her and gave her the same glare I had given my lawyer the first time I met her. She was just like that bastard Kendall. It didn't seem to affect her like it should have. I wanted to reach across the table and rip her throat out. After a few minutes she began to ask me questions about Logan. I spun my story as best as I could making sure everything I said was in my favor. I was going to make sure Logan took the heat for this. In side this place I couldn't physically hurt him but I was going to do anything in my power to insure that he was suffering. When it was all said and done Logan's lawyer left. The young ignorant camera man who had been with her was so afraid of me he left a copy of the tape we had just made behind. I smiled to myself and picked it up. I had the perfect idea for ruining Logan's life.

* * *

The next time I saw Logan was at the trail. He tried his best not to look at me when he first walked in but unsurprisingly he spared a glance in my direction. I smirked at him loving how he looked away in fear. Even from a distance I could mess with him.

The trial went on slowly. I was barely paying attention. I already knew how everything was going to play out. I had the money and the power to tamper with the evidence and the jury. It would only take one mole to change the jury's minds in my favor. When my lawyer brought up Logan's shirt he fell to pieces. He knew I was winning and he hated it. When the jury finally reached a verdict I watched Logan the entire time. As soon as the words "not guilty" left the mole's mouth Logan seemed to go into a state of shock. It wasn't the usual suffering that he would go through but it was arousing all the same. Everyone's protests fell on deaf ears as I watched him. He leaned his head against the table and I could tell he was sobbing. The only thing that broke me from my trance was the judge using his annoying mallet.

When he said that they were going to be given another day I wanted to run up to the judge and bash his face in. I don't know what Logan's lawyer had said but I wanted to kill her more than anything right now. She was so much like that bastard Kendall. Always getting in the way. As I left the court room I made sure to throw a glare at Logan. He may think he was catching a lucky break but it wasn't over yet.

* * *

When I saw Logan walk into that bathroom alone I knew it was the perfect opportunity to throw things in my favor. When I was inside he was washing his hands. I grabbed a paper towel and held it in front of him thinking I could have some fun with the little rat. The look on his face when he realized it was me standing in front of him was priceless. I grabbed him and threw him against the wall loving the fear in his eyes. His tears covered my hand, I wanted to lean forward and lick them. Before I could really do anything he bit me. The little bitch bit me. After that I was ready to fuck him until he understood who his master was but he called out for Kendall. I knew I had no other choice but to leave when Kendall approached me so that's exactly what I did.

* * *

I don't know how things turned out like this. How did Logan get that? How did he know to look for it? These were the questions running through my mind as the jury announced the guilty verdict. As I was escorted out of the court room I noticed how happy Logan looked. He was hugging all of his friends and smiling. The look didn't suit him and I promised myself that I would change that look back to the way I liked it.

* * *

Making friends in prison wasn't as hard as I thought it would be. I always heard stories about the new guy getting beaten half to death but that wasn't me. I wasn't going to be anyone's bitch even if my cell mate thought otherwise. My very first night my cell mate tried to chock me in my sleep; so I fucked him into next week. That put him in his place. It wasn't as good as Logan though. This guy was muscular and he didn't scream. He moaned as I pounded into him. It was obvious he got off on being dominated. He was just waiting for someone like me.

Apparently my cell mate had a reputation around the jail. So the next day when we were let out into the court yard I bent him in half and fucked him hard in front of everyone. He moaned like a bitch and screamed for more. I think everyone got the message. It only took a few days for me to come up with a plan. My cell mate smuggled in a knife and I let him stab me. He had told me before hand that one of his boys would visit me at the hospital and help me out. I knew he wasn't lying because he knew if he was, I would kill him as soon as I got back.

When I finally recovered enough to be sent back to prison my cell mate's friend visited me. He gave me a gun and brought I rope latter so I could make it out through the window. I was only on the second floor so it wasn't that hard to do. I wanted to go to Logan but there were loss ends I had to tie up first. The first person I met was my lawyer. I could tell by the state of her home that her life was falling apart. I was putting her out of her misery. She didn't even scream when I beat her to death. She didn't even see me coming. I hit her over the head with a crow bar then continued to hit her with it when she fell. There was lots of blood but I didn't care, she got what she dissevered. It had taken me more of an effort to track down Logan's lawyer. She had put me through so much grief so I planned on making her suffer. I hid in her house waiting for her when she came home. As soon as she locked the front door I grabbed her and dragged her into her bed room. I ripped off her close and took her up the ass like I would do for anyone else. I didn't like the feel of fucking a woman, but the bitch dissevered it. When I was done with her I smacked her around a few times before I slit her throat with a kitchen knife. I spit on her when I left. Now I only had a few more people left and I could find them all in one place. They made it too easy.

* * *

It had happened by accident. I was pissed off when I found apartment 2J empty so I took a walk. I didn't travel that far when I had spotted the four boys. I followed behind them as they entered an apartment complex. They had obviously heard about what happened and were hiding out. It did little good though because I found them. I got my former cell mates friend to help me again. He sold those three body guard's spiked soda while I followed James, Kendall and Carlos to the corner store. I locked them in a closet then made my way back to the apartment. I was pleased to find the soda had taken affect already. Logan was just standing there shocked when he saw me. I was going to enjoy this.

I had barely beaten him when he managed to get away from me. He locked himself in a bed room but like all good rats, he came out again. I started beating him again loving the screams I missed so much. When he was finally broken enough I was going to take him but that guy who had been in the apartment with him got in the way. I don't know how he had gotten my gun but he had no problem using it. The bullet hit my right in the chest filling me with an immense pain. I fell forward gasping for breath as I could feel my life slipping away. This was bullshit. Why was there always someone getting in the way? I heard a thud and I looked up. My gun was lying in front of me. I reached for it and grabbed it. I aimed for Logan but that bastard got in the way. When I fired my shot I heard someone scream before everything went black.

* * *

I've never felt so much pain in my life. When my eyes fluttered open I expected to be in a white room with annoying beeping noises but I wasn't. Instead all I could see was tacky wallpaper and all I could hear was soft music and crying. I didn't risk moving so I just glanced around. I saw a bunch of people in black and when I looked around myself I finally registered what I was laying in. Those dumb asses… they think I'm dead? I shut my eyes again so no one could see I was awake. It was hard to keep still considering my pain and anger was making my skin tremble. Once all the voices dissipated I looked around and saw everyone was gone. As quickly as I could I made my exit. I snuck out of there and didn't stop moving until I hit a park a few blocks away. Once I stopped I sat down on a bench to recollect my thoughts. I don't know how long I was out but the dizziness and hungry told me it was a long time. I noticed a flyer hanging up that had the date on it. I had been out for months. The first thing I thought of was hibernation. That would be the only explanation for being able to live for so long without food or water. After a few minutes I pushed all thoughts aside. What mattered was that I was alive and I was going to finish what I started months ago.

* * *

Logan and his friends were obviously living a perfect life. I couldn't stand it. I followed them back to their apartment noticing that those idiots James and Carlos left the door unlocked. Perfect. I snuck in and hid in what I believed to be Logan and Kendall's room. When Kendall and Logan finally returned they were attached to each other. I watched as they climbed on one of the beds and Kendall fucked Logan. Hearing Logan's voice, even though he wasn't screaming got me rock hard. So while they senselessly fucked each other I jacked myself off. It was easy to keep quiet and even if I had made any noise they wouldn't have heard it.

As soon as they fell asleep I stepped out from my hiding spot and moved over to them. Logan was sleeping on the side closed to me so I didn't have to reach over Kendall to get to him. If I wanted to I could have him right now. I could slit Kendall's throat and take Logan for myself like I've always wanted. But then they wouldn't suffer enough. I had the perfect plan. I touched Logan's cheek smirking as he leaned into the touch. He moaned Kendall's name but I didn't care. When I got a hold of him he was going to be screaming mine. I noticed a stuffed animal on the nightstand. I picked it up and quickly ripped its head off. Let that be a message to them.

* * *

I only had to wait a few minutes for Kendall to show up. He was shocked. His skin turned pal white and I was surprised to see fear in his eyes. Once I told him that I had snuck into his apartment he was compliant enough to do whatever I wanted. It would be fun watching their lives fall apart and when I saw the break up seen between the two of them I couldn't wait to get my hands on Logan. He thought I would keep my word but even if he never broke any of the rules I set for him I would have taken Logan anyway.

With the aid of the microphone I planted on Kendall when he was sleeping I was able to keep track of his every move. Once he spilled to James and Carlos about what I had done to him I made my move. Getting into that recording studio had been easy. I slipped past everyone without being noticed and once I had Logan I slipped out unnoticed.

Logan thought he was tricking me. He thought I didn't know he was awake but he was wrong. I let him play his games for a few hours but then I put him in his place. I wanted him to suffer a little before I took him so I left him there to wonder when his time would come. I felt a smirk come to my face when he started screaming and crying. I was instantly hard knowing I was causing him so much pain. It was only a matter of time before he would be mine again.

* * *

I was about to take him when I was forced off of Logan. I was out for a moment but when I opened my eyes they went red with rage. Kendall had gotten in the way again. I grabbed the knife off the wall and went to stab him but Logan warned him so he moved out of the way. I had him; after we rolled around for a short time I was going to kill him. But I felt a pain in my head and everything went dark again.

When I awoke I noticed that Logan and Kendall were gone. I lifted myself off the floor ignoring the dizziness and made my way out of the abandoned house. I don't know why this was so difficult but I didn't care about getting Logan anymore. I was going to kill them.

* * *

I followed them until they got to the museum. I kept following them until they snuck into the restricted section. Like the last time I watched them I jacked off to them fucking. When they ran away from that security guard I decided to confront them. I fought with Kendall for a short time and he thought he had me when he got my gun but I had another. When I finally shot him, when I finally shot Kendall it was the best feeling in the world. Watching him dying right before me and seeing the absolute despair on Logan's face was beautiful. I raised my gun towards Logan. It was finally going to end. When the police came running in I didn't care. I wasn't going to let Logan get out of here alive. I raised my gun and heard shots being fired.

**A/N: OMG DONE! if I knew this chapter was going to be such a pain I wouldn't have done it! I had to go through all the chapters of SCFS and SCFD to make sure I got everything that happened right. I mean I liked the idea and this definitely allowed everything to be seen from a different perspective but it took so long! This also allowed a lot of more information about the story to be put in. like what happened to Ms. Fin and Mrs. Stewart, how Ryan got into the apartment, what happened to Ryan in prison. I bet you never would have guessed that Ryan raped Ms. Fin before killing her. I actually thought of that at the last minute and thought it put an interesting twist to everything. **

**Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this. It took me a long ass time so you people better like it! jk. =]**

**Unlike always there isn't more to come.**

**PS: I should have the first chapter of my new story up tonight so make sure you check that out!**

**BONUS:**

**I totally made a mistake in SCFS. Only one person has ever called me out on this but earlier in the story I called Kendall's dad a wife beater then I included him later in the story… whoops. I don't plan on going back to change it.**

**I made another mistake in this story. I included a flashback of when Logan and Kendall first met in both SCFS and SCFE… they are both different. Whoops again!**

**This story was actually originally planned to be the sequel to abduction but I felt such a connection to silent crys I just had to add more to it.**

**I'm still going to do June 10****th**** and one of the one shots is going to be of Logan and Kendall's wedding and honey moon (tee hee) **

**I thought of the scene with Logan finding Molly because of his dad at the last minute. I took a break and went to get dinner and it just occurred to me. It's a good thing I took a break because I lot of people liked that I brought Logan's dad back for some stuff. **

**I was almost going to make Molly a boy but at the last minute I decided to make her a girl. **

**The last chapter was originally going to be Molly's first day of school but I liked the idea with Ryan better. **


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